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DEALING WITH OVERLY PROTECTIVE BOYFRIENDS
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Author:  Volkov [ Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:01 am ]
Post subject:  DEALING WITH OVERLY PROTECTIVE BOYFRIENDS

Happy Halloween people, hope you all having fun out there!!!

I'd like to preface this post by saying that this sht keeps happening to me over and over and is making me frustrated. After today, I want to really give it some thought so if it happens again I'm prepared and can better handle myself.

SO

Protective boyfriends

I just came from a party that was lit af. Totally had my vibe, was the one having the most fun even though I didn't drink anything. Introduced bunch of random people to each other, spit out compliments to even those who didn't deserve them, turnt up the dance floor, Solid day 2's--EVERYTHING! This would have been once of the best nights of my gaming career up til this point IF NOT FOR WHAT HAPPENED RIGHT AT THE END.

I was chatting up a cute girl that I met earlier. From the start we clicked right off. You know how you talk to a girl and you instantly feel that spark, that chemistry? The conversation just flows. You look her in the eye and realize that all the pain and all the misery you put yourself through was worth it because it allowed you to meet this awesome girl?! F in love that feeling. Doesn't happen often. Anyway me and my buddies were about to leave so I was just chatting her up trying to get her insta and set up day 2. Then she lays her cards down and says she has a boyfriend. Ouch. and she means it I could see it. She even pointed at the guy apologetically.

Now he was actually a really cool guy when I met him first earlier at the party. Super positive and we cracked a few jokes together. So I thought to myself, "man these are really cool people, I really like them both, I wanna stay in touch."

So I invite the girl telling her she should invite her bf too to a thanksgiving party I'm planning. She's excitedly chattering and raking her insta into my phone as her boyfriend specimen comes up smelling of alcohol. Starts being super negative and aggressive. And even shoves me off.
And I try to keep my cool, explain that I'm merely trying to invite his girl AND HIS STUPID HEAD to what probably will be an AWESOME PARTY but he's not listening at all. Just shouting and being rude and pushy. So I raise my hands, back out, go up to my buddies. "Dre's out," i say and head for the door. The room was small, everyone saw what happened, there was not much I could do at that point.

On the way out the girl runs to me and starts apologizing. And I'm like "yeah I understand" not the first time it happened.

Yeah

I've had this happen before

Where I talk to a girl, vibe and we just talk, no sexual notes, just two human beings enjoying each other's presence and having fun, and then the boyfriends come up and are totally rude and f ing irrational (some guy actually spilt a beer onto my head in college).

And so I'm not sure how to act in these situations. One one hand, I try not to feed into their negative reactive energy, and let them embarrass themselves. So I'd just play it off cool and leave. But at the same time, I don't want to be super beta and tug my tail and run.

But when they're so escalated when they just push you and you can't even talk just what can you do?!

Sorry for the long post guys but I really need some advice from you all. maybe if someone else keeps running into this and they have a good way of dealing with these immature irrational dudes with low social skills I'd love to know!

peace love and girls to you all! hah

Author:  oceanx [ Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: DEALING WITH OVERLY PROTECTIVE BOYFRIENDS

Put yourself in their shoes: They see a real cool dude (you) chatting up their woman and they get territorial like a bear. It's really tough because we advise guys on the other end who have dudes going up to their GFs and tell them it's not appropriate for another guy to be chatting them up and escalating. From his perspective, he doesn't know that you haven't been flirting, and really you should be flirting and escalating if you want to get something going with these women.

Meet women outside of party SPAM when they may be more willing to hear your presentation and not concerned their BF (if they have one) will come up and try to clobber you. Some are always looking to level up or at least have some fun with a random stranger.

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Sun Oct 29, 2017 11:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: DEALING WITH OVERLY PROTECTIVE BOYFRIENDS

Quote:
Happy Halloween people, hope you all having fun out there!!!
I am! thanks.


Quote:

So I invite the girl telling her she should invite her bf too to a thanksgiving party I'm planning. She's excitedly chattering and raking her insta into my phone as her boyfriend specimen comes up smelling of alcohol. Starts being super negative and aggressive. And even shoves me off.
Nothing wrong with what her bf did.

Quote:
And I try to keep my cool, explain that I'm merely trying to invite his girl AND HIS STUPID HEAD to what probably will be an AWESOME PARTY but he's not listening at all. Just shouting and being rude and pushy. So I raise my hands, back out, go up to my buddies. "Dre's out," i say and head for the door. The room was small, everyone saw what happened, there was not much I could do at that point.
You're hitting on a girl in front of her boyfriend. What the fuck do you think is going to happen? And please, spare me the "I think these two people are cool and want them in my life" Hallmark card bullshit. You want the girl on her knees.


Quote:
Where I talk to a girl, vibe and we just talk, no sexual notes, just two human beings enjoying each other's presence and having fun, and then the boyfriends come up and are totally rude and f ing irrational (some guy actually spilt a beer onto my head in college).
dude, you're hitting on a girl in front of her bf, lol. You're in some sort of weird reality disconnect.

Me, I wouldn't shout you down, or get pushy with you. I'd let my gf enjoy her life, and chatting with other guys is part of her freedom, which only makes things hotter.

However, most guys aren't like that. and they're not WRONG to act that way, it's just different from how I operate.
Quote:
And so I'm not sure how to act in these situations.
You handle it by not hitting on girls whose bf's are right there, lol.

My advice for a single man struggling to find a gf is to spend more time at "meat markets" IE, bars and clubs, and less time at house parties, which are inherently more clique-oriented, and cozy.

Do a google search for "best single's bars in my town".

Author:  Volkov [ Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: DEALING WITH OVERLY PROTECTIVE BOYFRIENDS

True true in the future once I find out she's got a boyfriend i'd inject as fast as possible. Especially in party situations, it's just not worth pursuing things any further, nothing ever comes out of it anyway.

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