Hey
So I am 'grafter', 23 years old , and to be fully honest my 'game' has deteriorated over two years since I graduated Uni and went back to normal life where I wasn't out like 3 times a week! I lost 5 stone at 16, got proper skinny and then followed the M3 model loosely, went to uni, got into a relationship with a girl that made me think PUA was wrong, knocked a load of confidence out of me and made me regress to a quieter individual. I have never quite been able to get back to the level of confidence I had before I was with her oddly so thats a target.
I guess the reason I signed up is a little bit of frustration. I occasionally see glimpses of good game from myself, indeed I am the most frequent of my friends to 'pull' for lack of a better word on a night out. My night game is very much a intuitive game- I have been going out regularly since I was 18 and I know when a girl is interested , I use some basic kino like little spins and things and can get a kiss close. Sometimes I can even bring them home , I can talk a good talk mostly. But the frequency I go from k close to taking home is quite low, so something is going wrong in the middle. Admittedly I do drink too much on nights out, my friends all predrink hard , so I am looking to try and reduce alcohol intake to be able to loose that crutch.
But overall every time I get my hopes up, it doesn't work. My friend whos a rocker and a real natural just cant figure out how I blow so many opportunities. I am doing something seriously wrong in terms of logistics, evidenced by the fact the only serious girlfriend I have had lived down the corridor from me at uni, aka I had no way of blowing that logistically. So thats one thing I am looking for , transitioning from the first lay or first few dates to something more.
Also I have noticed 3 patterns to my 'love-life':
1) Meet a girl on a night out. Kino escalate relatively quickly, k close or even bring back sometimes, then maybe see once or twice after ( if lucky) but eventually fizzle out to just friendship or not talking.
2) Meet a girl off tinder, go for a few nice dates, talk a bit, maybe k close but no further , fizzle out.
3) Meet a girl I like at work or through friends , get on well, get a general sense they like me, maybe kiss close , try set it up and not get further. I often feel I get onto the outer circles of a social group, with the exception of my small group of lad mates spread over different cities that are my core friendgroup , so I will be liked, I will be invited to things but Ill never know the deepest secrets or be invited to the little things.
So to sum up all that I feel I need to learn how to take things to the next level when not blind drunk !
My goal is really to get a relationship ultimately, Ive done my crazy partying years near enough (well not quite but almost
) and I just want to meet a decent girl ,who I love to be around and can trust.
I dont expect miracles, I know this will be a long term project and I will endeavour to post as many FRs I can along the way, but just from this initial post what are your thoughts /tips. Does anyone else have these kind of issues?
Thanks for any feedback