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Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
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Author:  threadstarter [ Tue May 13, 2014 8:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
For fuck's sake, I hope someone can help me figure out what I'm doing wrong because I'm sick and tired of getting rejected! I present five cases that have happened to me since the beginning of the year. There might not be enough information in all of these cases to figure out my sticking points, but the last one really pissed me off so I'm making that one very detailed.

In January I met a girl, who I dated and slept with for about a month before she decided she just wanted to be friends. Her reasoning was that she needed to be single after a bad breakup with her ex. I had also told her I wanted to be single for the same reason, so the reason she gave didn't seem to make any sense to me. Well I told her that I didn't want to be just casual friends, but whenever I run into her I have been friendly and let her know that she can contact me. She doesn't and it looks like she even deleted my happy birthday message to her on her Facebook page (my ONLY contact with her besides the times I ran into her).

In February I met another girl, who I dated for about two months. In the beginning we slept at each other's places a few times, but she wouldn't have sex with me. Eventually even that stopped. When I realized I was just spending my time and money on her without getting anything (not just sex but she wasn't doing her part to make the relationship go anywhere) I let her know how I felt on our last date. She hasn't called me since and when I have run into her I have been friendly and told her to call me. She pretends like nothing ever happened with us.

A few weeks ago I met two girls at a street concert. Our interaction was incredibly natural and exciting and I really felt like I had a lot of chemistry with one of them. It wasn't long before she was giving me IOIs left and right, but after the concert she disappeared without so much as giving me her phone number.

A week and a half ago I went on a great first date and got laid at the end of the night. I felt like we had good chemistry and I've been trying to set up a second date. She has friendly on SMS but apparently she is too busy with other things. I feel like there is more to it though. I tried to set up something for the weekend and she said that she would send me a text on Saturday evening and maybe we could meet up then. Now it's Tuesday evening and I haven't heard from her.

About two weeks ago I met a girl at the park, who wouldn't give me her number, but took mine. So I was surprised when she actually called me. I've tried to set up something with her, but now I just got shot down and I don't even know why. I will post the entirety of our messages back and forth. I obviously must have done something wrong but I can't figure it out! Help me please. She is Danish but very international and apparently likes to speak English. I am not Danish, but I've been living here for a while and I like to speak Danish. So our convo started in English, but I started replying in Danish and eventually we wrote 90% in Danish. I have no idea if this has anything to do with what went down; I'm posting everything in English so you guys can understand it:

Her: Hey what's up threadstarter :-)
Me: Who dis be??
Her: Try and guess :-)
Me: Lorde (I had told her when we met that she looked like Lorde)
Her: I really don't think I look much like her :-) Having trouble remembering all the girls you give your number to? ;-)
Me: But she is cool and you are too JULIA.
Her: :-)
Me: Of course I remember ;-) So when are you free to get together?
Her: Not sure, pretty busy these days. Yourself?
Me: Weekend
Me: Let's get some drinks
Her: Sure
Me: Can you meet me Saturday at 7 by the fountain at Gammeltorv?
Her: No unfortunately, Eurovision is on Saturday...
Me: Ok we can meet at the same place at 9 on Friday. Otherwise we can maybe find a day next week :-)
Her: I think maybe one day next week works better :-) We'll talk

^That part of the convo was pretty much back and forth without very long pauses. Then I messaged her again on Monday afternoon:

Me: What's up Juju, when are you free?

Almost exactly 24 hours later she replied:

Her: Hi :-) Friday evening or Thurs/Sat before my work

And about 4 hours later I replied:

Me: See you Friday at 7 by the fountain at Gammeltorv?
Her: I don't know if that is a good idea threadstarter :-/ I've gone and thought a lot about that. Sorry :-/ Take care! :-)
Me: I don't understand. Why shouldn't it be a good idea? Let me know if you change your mind...
Her: It's just a gut feeling I have... Sure will do. Take care of yourself :-)

I try to keep SMS and phone calls to a minimum (the latter I almost don't use, maybe I should?) and just set up dates so we can actually talk, you know, IN PERSON. I try to keep the SMSs I do send fun but not trying too hard. I make sure they don't sound needy. And somehow it all blows up in my face. Really, did I do something wrong or was she just very strange?

Is it normal to get rejected so fucking much by every girl I meet? Can you see if there is some pattern I keep repeating that is sabotaging all these relationships? I appreciate the help...
Author:  Damien Cash [ Tue May 13, 2014 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
A few things:

1) You may have just gone through a string of flaky girls. Most people out there don't know what they want or how to handle it once they get it.

2) Brad Pitt Test. Would they give the same excuse to Brad Pitt? If the answer is "no," then they aren't really that interested.

i.e. "Sorry, actually hanging out with friends." Would she say that to Brad Pitt? Fuck no!

3) "We only accept the love we think we deserve." - Perks of Being a Wallflower

This has dramatically affected the way I view relationships. You may be subconsciously finding shitty, flaky women because that's the type of person you think you actually deserve. You may need to do a personal inventory and some self-work to attract better quality women. Once again, refer back to 1. Some girls are just assholes. If it's a pattern, though, you may be going after the wrong type of girl.

Hope this helps!
Author:  threadstarter [ Wed May 14, 2014 10:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
After doing some thinking I have a theory about what went wrong with the last girl, the one I was texting with.

I purposefully tried to meet with her on a Friday or Saturday evening so I could be sure that neither of us had any time constraints. I wanted to treat her to a proper date, but maybe it was too much of a commitment for her since she barely knows me. On the other hand, she did mention Friday just before she changed her mind, but maybe she realized her "mistake" only after she made it.

If this is what happened I think it's very sad. Why can't women realize that we can't read their minds? I wish there were more women out there who would actually share what they're thinking and feeling. If the weekend was too much of a commitment for her then she didn't need to let me make the same mistake twice. She was interested enough to text me but not interested enough to help me out? What is that?

Oh well I guess I just have to work on my first interaction skills more and try to figure out what the different women I meet are like so I can follow up in the right way.
Author:  Adonis_Complex [ Fri May 16, 2014 1:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
Try your usual approach, and once you feel things are heating up then pull back. Let her do the chasing, maintain some mystery and be a challenge for her.
Author:  threadstarter [ Sat May 17, 2014 11:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
I will keep that in mind Adonis_complex.

The girl who was supposed to message me last Saturday actually messaged me tonight, a week later, accusing me of using techniques from The Game on her! Can you believe it? I offered to meet up and talk but she's apparently too butthurt... oh well better not to get involved with this type of girl.
Author:  Adonis_Complex [ Sun May 18, 2014 4:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
Do you admit you were guilty of her accusation? What "tactics" specifically?
Author:  threadstarter [ Sun May 18, 2014 7:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
Quote:
Do you admit you were guilty of her accusation? What "tactics" specifically?
No I didn't. Here's our SMS convo a week after she was supposed to text me:

Her: The game?
Me: Excuse me?
Her: It's funny you are using the game technique.

Then I try to call her but no answer.

Me: I'm near your place, shall we meet up?
Her: No thanks
Me: It seems like you've made a story in your head, while I had been thinking you were not interested. If you care about truth we can meet. Otherwise I'm going home now.

After I got home I got this SMS.

Her: Capoeira truth? (I practice capoeira and we had been talking about capoeira, but I have no idea what this is supposed to mean)

I'm not sure what technique she is talking about. I was assuming it's the fact I haven't called, which is ridiculous. But now I think it might be a neg I did on our date. Or maybe something else? I haven't replied to her last SMS. Maybe it's better if I don't because she seems a bit nuts. We went out once and she's already making accusations and starting drama??? I already slept badly because of this.
Author:  Adonis_Complex [ Mon May 19, 2014 2:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
My guess is that she is concerned you're manipulating her, and or that all you want is sex.

IMO, I would reassure her that the sentence above is not the case. If the above sentence is true, then I cannot help you, since he caught you red handed.

In my experiences, I have had a few girls that believed all I wanted was sex. (I have never been called out on using techniques) In the case that all I wanted was sex, then I was man enough to admit it and accept the consequences. If I actually enjoyed the girl's company, then I would freeze her out for a bit then I would do something nice, without expecting anything in return.

On the bright-side it looks like you kept most of your composure. I have said and done some stupid shit once my emotions got involved. Fortunately a lot of the times you can recover if your game is good.
Author:  threadstarter [ Mon May 19, 2014 10:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
I decided to give her a chance and it just confirmed that I don't want anything to do with her:

Me: Sara I don't know what you're talking about. I only have good intentions and drama is the last thing I need. I've given you the offer to meet and talk. You can also call me.
Her: I'm not making drama, I just think the game is stupid.
Me: There is no game sweet. Just tell me when you have time to do something together... it will be nice.
Her: So you mean you don't use techniques from the game? :b
Me: You are sweet :-* How is it going with your mouth. Does it still hurt? (not cause I fucked her hard in her mouth, because she got a tooth pulled or something).
Her: You're avoiding the question.
Me: I want to know what technique you are talking about. I didn't use anything consciously. I have just waited for you to call me like you said you would.
Her: Ok we will say that then.

And then today this happened:

Me: So when do you have time to meet? :-)
Her: I haven't said anything about meeting?
Me: Forget it.

That's it, done, NEXT! I don't need this shit.
Author:  Adonis_Complex [ Tue May 20, 2014 7:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
live and let die. Negative girls will only bring you down.
Author:  sawyer24 [ Tue May 27, 2014 12:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
Quote:
For fuck's sake, I hope someone can help me figure out what I'm doing wrong because I'm sick and tired of getting rejected! I present five cases that have happened to me since the beginning of the year. There might not be enough information in all of these cases to figure out my sticking points, but the last one really pissed me off so I'm making that one very detailed.

In January I met a girl, who I dated and slept with for about a month before she decided she just wanted to be friends. Her reasoning was that she needed to be single after a bad breakup with her ex. I had also told her I wanted to be single for the same reason, so the reason she gave didn't seem to make any sense to me. Well I told her that I didn't want to be just casual friends, but whenever I run into her I have been friendly and let her know that she can contact me. She doesn't and it looks like she even deleted my happy birthday message to her on her Facebook page (my ONLY contact with her besides the times I ran into her).

In February I met another girl, who I dated for about two months. In the beginning we slept at each other's places a few times, but she wouldn't have sex with me. Eventually even that stopped. When I realized I was just spending my time and money on her without getting anything (not just sex but she wasn't doing her part to make the relationship go anywhere) I let her know how I felt on our last date. She hasn't called me since and when I have run into her I have been friendly and told her to call me. She pretends like nothing ever happened with us.

A few weeks ago I met two girls at a street concert. Our interaction was incredibly natural and exciting and I really felt like I had a lot of chemistry with one of them. It wasn't long before she was giving me IOIs left and right, but after the concert she disappeared without so much as giving me her phone number.

A week and a half ago I went on a great first date and got laid at the end of the night. I felt like we had good chemistry and I've been trying to set up a second date. She has friendly on SMS but apparently she is too busy with other things. I feel like there is more to it though. I tried to set up something for the weekend and she said that she would send me a text on Saturday evening and maybe we could meet up then. Now it's Tuesday evening and I haven't heard from her.

About two weeks ago I met a girl at the park, who wouldn't give me her number, but took mine. So I was surprised when she actually called me. I've tried to set up something with her, but now I just got shot down and I don't even know why. I will post the entirety of our messages back and forth. I obviously must have done something wrong but I can't figure it out! Help me please. She is Danish but very international and apparently likes to speak English. I am not Danish, but I've been living here for a while and I like to speak Danish. So our convo started in English, but I started replying in Danish and eventually we wrote 90% in Danish. I have no idea if this has anything to do with what went down; I'm posting everything in English so you guys can understand it:

Her: Hey what's up threadstarter :-)
Me: Who dis be??
Her: Try and guess :-)
Me: Lorde (I had told her when we met that she looked like Lorde)
Her: I really don't think I look much like her :-) Having trouble remembering all the girls you give your number to? ;-)
Me: But she is cool and you are too JULIA.
Her: :-)
Me: Of course I remember ;-) So when are you free to get together?
Her: Not sure, pretty busy these days. Yourself?
Me: Weekend
Me: Let's get some drinks
Her: Sure
Me: Can you meet me Saturday at 7 by the fountain at Gammeltorv?
Her: No unfortunately, Eurovision is on Saturday...
Me: Ok we can meet at the same place at 9 on Friday. Otherwise we can maybe find a day next week :-)
Her: I think maybe one day next week works better :-) We'll talk

^That part of the convo was pretty much back and forth without very long pauses. Then I messaged her again on Monday afternoon:

Me: What's up Juju, when are you free?

Almost exactly 24 hours later she replied:

Her: Hi :-) Friday evening or Thurs/Sat before my work

And about 4 hours later I replied:

Me: See you Friday at 7 by the fountain at Gammeltorv?
Her: I don't know if that is a good idea threadstarter :-/ I've gone and thought a lot about that. Sorry :-/ Take care! :-)
Me: I don't understand. Why shouldn't it be a good idea? Let me know if you change your mind...
Her: It's just a gut feeling I have... Sure will do. Take care of yourself :-)

I try to keep SMS and phone calls to a minimum (the latter I almost don't use, maybe I should?) and just set up dates so we can actually talk, you know, IN PERSON. I try to keep the SMSs I do send fun but not trying too hard. I make sure they don't sound needy. And somehow it all blows up in my face. Really, did I do something wrong or was she just very strange?

Is it normal to get rejected so fucking much by every girl I meet? Can you see if there is some pattern I keep repeating that is sabotaging all these relationships? I appreciate the help...

The first one might have been bad sex, or she didn't enjoy it.

2nd one seems like you are the one who lost interest.

3rd one. You made the mistake of losing her. This happened to me ALL the time in college. I'd have great conversation, all kinds of IOIs and I'd end up loosing her when she went to the bathroom or something. That one is your fault.

4th getting laid on the first date is awesome, but for some reason I find it almost kills the relationship. Idk why and I could be wrong, but I think the girl sort of just wanted a one nighter. She may feel too embarressed or slutty to see you again. Women can get REally weird after sex. Eps if its that soon. I often don't even try for a 2nd time If I get lucky that fast. (which is rare.._)

5th one, I think you asked her out too many times in a short period. I've found that women get "creeped" out or "feel smothered," if you even text them too many times, let alone repeatedly ask them out. Also you sound too nice, saying "hey are you free?" Next time be more firm, and only ask once. Hey, let's meet up for drinks, and Xyz Club this weekend. What do you say?

Also I feel your pain man. I've been getting rejected left and right. With texting its way ezier for girls to just ignore. Girls are very flaky, and like another poster said, often don't know what they want. Being single in today's age is Very hard!
Author:  sawyer24 [ Tue May 27, 2014 12:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tired of getting rejected by girls I date
Quote:
After doing some thinking I have a theory about what went wrong with the last girl, the one I was texting with.

I purposefully tried to meet with her on a Friday or Saturday evening so I could be sure that neither of us had any time constraints. I wanted to treat her to a proper date, but maybe it was too much of a commitment for her since she barely knows me. On the other hand, she did mention Friday just before she changed her mind, but maybe she realized her "mistake" only after she made it.

If this is what happened I think it's very sad. Why can't women realize that we can't read their minds? I wish there were more women out there who would actually share what they're thinking and feeling. If the weekend was too much of a commitment for her then she didn't need to let me make the same mistake twice. She was interested enough to text me but not interested enough to help me out? What is that?

Oh well I guess I just have to work on my first interaction skills more and try to figure out what the different women I meet are like so I can follow up in the right way.
Don't over analyze yourself. If a girl wasn't interested she may have just not liked your hair color, or you mispronounced a letter wrong. Who knows? Women are often crazy. You will drive yourself nuts trying to figure out why she wasn't into you. Just move on to the next target.
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