PUA Forum :: keep getting friendzoned

Sounds like you're moving too slow.

The best way to NOT get in the friend zone is to NOT be their friend!

It's shitty to hide your intentions and pretend to be buddies when you have other motives. Be more upfront in the future.

Hmm I think I see now what I've been doing wrong. Thank you guys for the replys. I think on some level I've been convinced that its some how unethical to show physical attraction upfront which is sort of rediculous. I think that its just a different form of rejection anxiety. There's relatively low chance of being rejected as a friend compared to being rejected as a potential suitor or whatever you want to call it. But reflecting on it now it kind of is a pretty shitty thing to do. I've been under the illusion that friendship with the opposite sex is a gateway to attraction. The truth is, like you guys have said, that doing this is manipulative and kind of shady.

Moving forward I will make a concious effort to be more open with my intentions and less giving. I tend to get in a sense of uphoria once I get the inner feeling that I'm doing well which leads me to buy the girls I'm pursuing gifts, go out of my way to suprise them with emotional support, shower them with compliments, ext... I have been upping the negging and teasing but I think its far outweighed by the attention I'm giving.

As far as kino, its been light stuff like touching her arm, or sitting close for legs to touch, playfuly picking her up. Its different with every girl tho. Some are more comfortable with different things I've noticed. Are these wrong?

Calibration is key, however from your post I can see that you are not particularly confident with physical escalation.

Everytime I have a dilemma between physically escalating or withholding, it means I MUST escalate.

If she is a friend, just bring her somewhere isolated from the group and physically escalate the situation.

Also, you should continue to be challenging and have a selector mindset (screening frame) so that she knows you are the prize and not her.

Quote:

Hmm I think I see now what I've been doing wrong. Thank you guys for the replys. I think on some level I've been convinced that its some how unethical to show physical attraction upfront which is sort of rediculous. I think that its just a different form of rejection anxiety. There's relatively low chance of being rejected as a friend compared to being rejected as a potential suitor or whatever you want to call it. But reflecting on it now it kind of is a pretty shitty thing to do. I've been under the illusion that friendship with the opposite sex is a gateway to attraction. The truth is, like you guys have said, that doing this is

manipulative and kind of shady.

Moving forward I will make a concious effort to be more open with my intentions and less giving. I tend to get in a sense of
uphoria once I get the inner feeling that I'm doing well which leads me to buy the girls I'm pursuing gifts, go out of my way to suprise them with emotional support, shower them with compliments, ext... I have been upping the negging and teasing but I think its far outweighed by the attention I'm giving.

As far as kino, its been light stuff like touching her arm, or sitting close for legs to touch, playfuly picking her up. Its different with every girl tho. Some are more comfortable with different things I've noticed. Are these wrong?

How you apply kino and how you set her aside from everyone else while maintaining your value within venues is key.

1. When you speak to her don't be afraid to put your lips to her ear if it's a loud environment.
2. Touch the small of her back whenever you can.
3. Touch her elbows instead of her shoulders, it's a lot more intimate than a shoulder tap is and you can hold it there and slide her hand towards yours.
4. Hold eye contact as you apply this kind of kino(Kino involved with facing her).
5. Tease her physically. Tickle, pinch and lightly punch her on the shoulder. She'll almost immediately start doing this in return.

Boom, you've broken down all physical barriers short of actually kissing her and created a connection with her with simple kino.

The thing about teasing her by pinching, tickling her and pushing her is it's intimate. Anyone else seeing this kind of interaction is going to think you're involved and treat you both as a couple. This plants the seed of you being a potential suitor in her mind as opposed to a friend when others treat you two as being involved already. Not many other guys are going to be on a level with a woman that they can be so physical with her.

Now, the whole thing of setting her aside and treating her different to everyone else is important. This is you confirming to her that you like her. If you keep a solid frame and have the social value you can pretty much ramp up your attraction with her by treating her completely different to everyone else(In a good way obviously).

Ok so its just one of those things where you just got to do it? Like jumping into a pool of cold water?

Quote:

Oh for crying out loud. She probably isn't that into you and I certainly wouldn't be all over her like a fucking rash, touching her whenever and wherever you can. It is a huge turn off for girls and you are just acting like a predatory fucking, little creep.

As far as kino, its been light stuff like touching her arm, or sitting close for legs to touch, playfuly picking her up. Its different with every girl tho. Some are more comfortable with different things I've noticed. Are these wrong?

Author:	mmonsturr [ Mon Mar 17, 2014 9:48 pm ]
Post subject:	keep getting friendzoned
Ok so i think ive identified a pretty debilitating sticking point when it comes to the pursuit of the opposite sex. I tend to fall into a friendship category way to easily. A recent example of this is as follows. I had a friend lets say hb7 some may say 8 but i think 7. Well I was interested so i approached her (met her at work, i approached but only professionally) but she lived in the same building as me. So after work it was easy to start conversation with her and even get her number pretty easy. I would spend late nights with her there would be plenty of kino, a lot of flirtation but never a kiss close. I would just get frustrated because i couldnt quite escalate it and when i finally tried she did the whole " lets just be friends" bit. but then afterward she would still try to kino when we hung out. eventually it got so frustrating and i found out she was allready messing arround with at least one other guy which would be ok except obviously of all the kino i just had to stop hanging arround her ( she wasnt really interested according to our mutual friends). This is just an example this thing (or at least close to it) has happened at least three times since the last one ended in a big fight between me and a close friend of mine that i had to stop hanging arround. My question is how do i avoid doing this sort of thing in the future?

Author:	Monsignor Crisanto [ Tue Mar 18, 2014 3:56 am ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
What sort of kino have you done? Please elaborate.

Author:	Damien Cash [ Tue Mar 18, 2014 6:28 am ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
Sounds like you're moving too slow. The best way to NOT get in the friend zone is to NOT be their friend! It's shitty to hide your intentions and pretend to be buddies when you have other motives. Be more upfront in the future.

Author:	anthonypham [ Tue Mar 18, 2014 7:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
Quote: Sounds like you're moving too slow. The best way to NOT get in the friend zone is to NOT be their friend! It's shitty to hide your intentions and pretend to be buddies when you have other motives. Be more upfront in the future. I agree with Damien Cash. It sounds like you do not escalate enough. Girls decide from the first moment you met them, whether you a friend of a lover. - If you are a nice guy, very polite, please them, then you are definitely going to be frienzoned. - If you tease her, neg her, making fun of her/with her, show interest and show disinterest, stimulate her emoties, escalate, hold hands (this is the true kino!! Not 'accidently' touch her shoulders, back, etc.), eye contact. If you wait too long with escalating, then it would be harder for yourself. Since she is a HB7, then it should not be that hard to escalate/to game her. Some teasing, some negging, game-reversal and you should be fine.

Author:	mmonsturr [ Tue Mar 18, 2014 10:17 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
Hmm I think I see now what I've been doing wrong. Thank you guys for the replys. I think on some level I've been convinced that its some how unethical to show physical attraction upfront which is sort of rediculous. I think that its just a different form of rejection anxiety. There's relatively low chance of being rejected as a friend compared to being rejected as a potential suitor or whatever you want to call it. But reflecting on it now it kind of is a pretty shitty thing to do. I've been under the illusion that friendship with the opposite sex is a gateway to attraction. The truth is, like you guys have said, that doing this is manipulative and kind of shady. Moving forward I will make a concious effort to be more open with my intentions and less giving. I tend to get in a sense of uphoria once I get the inner feeling that I'm doing well which leads me to buy the girls I'm pursuing gifts, go out of my way to suprise them with emotional support, shower them with compliments, ext... I have been upping the negging and teasing but I think its far outweighed by the attention I'm giving. As far as kino, its been light stuff like touching her arm, or sitting close for legs to touch, playfuly picking her up. Its different with every girl tho. Some are more comfortable with different things I've noticed. Are these wrong?

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Author:	schoolofromance [ Wed Mar 19, 2014 4:49 am ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
Calibration is key, however from your post I can see that you are not particularly confident with physical escalation. Everytime I have a dilemma between physically escalating or withholding, it means I MUST escalate. If she is a friend, just bring her somewhere isolated from the group and physically escalate the situation. Also, you should continue to be challenging and have a selector mindset (screening frame) so that she knows you are the prize and not her. Quote: Hmm I think I see now what I've been doing wrong. Thank you guys for the replys. I think on some level I've been convinced that its some how unethical to show physical attraction upfront which is sort of rediculous. I think that its just a different form of rejection anxiety. There's relatively low chance of being rejected as a friend compared to being rejected as a potential suitor or whatever you want to call it. But reflecting on it now it kind of is a pretty shitty thing to do. I've been under the illusion that friendship with the opposite sex is a gateway to attraction. The truth is, like you guys have said, that doing this is manipulative and kind of shady. Moving forward I will make a concious effort to be more open with my intentions and less giving. I tend to get in a sense of uphoria once I get the inner feeling that I'm doing well which leads me to buy the girls I'm pursuing gifts, go out of my way to suprise them with emotional support, shower them with compliments, ext... I have been upping the negging and teasing but I think its far outweighed by the attention I'm giving. As far as kino, its been light stuff like touching her arm, or sitting close for legs to touch, playfuly picking her up. Its different with every girl tho. Some are more comfortable with different things I've noticed. Are these wrong?

Author:	GamesSN [ Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:03 am ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
How you apply kino and how you set her aside from everyone else while maintaining your value within venues is key. 1. When you speak to her don't be afraid to put your lips to her ear if it's a loud environment. 2. Touch the small of her back whenever you can. 3. Touch her elbows instead of her shoulders, it's a lot more intimate than a shoulder tap is and you can hold it there and slide her hand towards yours. 4. Hold eye contact as you apply this kind of kino(Kino involved with facing her). 5. Tease her physically. Tickle, pinch and lightly punch her on the shoulder. She'll almost immediately start doing this in return. Boom, you've broken down all physical barriers short of actually kissing her and created a connection with her with simple kino. The thing about teasing her by pinching, tickling her and pushing her is it's intimate. Anyone else seeing this kind of interaction is going to think you're involved and treat you both as a couple. This plants the seed of you being a potential suitor in her mind as opposed to a friend when others treat you two as being involved already. Not many other guys are going to be on a level with a woman that they can be so physical with her. Now, the whole thing of setting her aside and treating her different to everyone else is important. This is you confirming to her that you like her. If you keep a solid frame and have the social value you can pretty much ramp up your attraction with her by treating her completely different to everyone else(In a good way obviously).

Author:	mmonsturr [ Fri Mar 21, 2014 10:34 am ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
Quote: Calibration is key, however from your post I can see that you are not particularly confident with physical escalation. Everytime I have a dilemma between physically escalating or withholding, it means I MUST escalate. If she is a friend, just bring her somewhere isolated from the group and physically escalate the situation. Also, you should continue to be challenging and have a selector mindset (screening frame) so that she knows you are the prize and not her. Quote: Hmm I think I see now what I've been doing wrong. Thank you guys for the replys. I think on some level I've been convinced that its some how unethical to show physical attraction upfront which is sort of rediculous. I think that its just a different form of rejection anxiety. There's relatively low chance of being rejected as a friend compared to being rejected as a potential suitor or whatever you want to call it. But reflecting on it now it kind of is a pretty shitty thing to do. I've been under the illusion that friendship with the opposite sex is a gateway to attraction. The truth is, like you guys have said, that doing this is manipulative and kind of shady. Moving forward I will make a concious effort to be more open with my intentions and less giving. I tend to get in a sense of uphoria once I get the inner feeling that I'm doing well which leads me to buy the girls I'm pursuing gifts, go out of my way to suprise them with emotional support, shower them with compliments, ext... I have been upping the negging and teasing but I think its far outweighed by the attention I'm giving. As far as kino, its been light stuff like touching her arm, or sitting close for legs to touch, playfuly picking her up. Its different with every girl tho. Some are more comfortable with different things I've noticed. Are these wrong? Ok so its just one of those things where you just got to do it? Like jumping into a pool of cold water?

Author:	Digital_Spy [ Sat Mar 22, 2014 12:22 am ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
Quote: How you apply kino and how you set her aside from everyone else while maintaining your value within venues is key. 1. When you speak to her don't be afraid to put your lips to her ear if it's a loud environment. 2. Touch the small of her back whenever you can. 3. Touch her elbows instead of her shoulders, it's a lot more intimate than a shoulder tap is and you can hold it there and slide her hand towards yours. 4. Hold eye contact as you apply this kind of kino(Kino involved with facing her). 5. Tease her physically. Tickle, pinch and lightly punch her on the shoulder. She'll almost immediately start doing this in return. Boom, you've broken down all physical barriers short of actually kissing her and created a connection with her with simple kino. The thing about teasing her by pinching, tickling her and pushing her is it's intimate. Anyone else seeing this kind of interaction is going to think you're involved and treat you both as a couple. This plants the seed of you being a potential suitor in her mind as opposed to a friend when others treat you two as being involved already. Not many other guys are going to be on a level with a woman that they can be so physical with her. Now, the whole thing of setting her aside and treating her different to everyone else is important. This is you confirming to her that you like her. If you keep a solid frame and have the social value you can pretty much ramp up your attraction with her by treating her completely different to everyone else(In a good way obviously). Oh for crying out loud. She probably isn't that into you and I certainly wouldn't be all over her like a fucking rash, touching her whenever and wherever you can. It is a huge turn off for girls and you are just acting like a predatory fucking, little creep.

Author:	schoolofromance [ Sun Mar 23, 2014 4:02 am ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
Initially when I did it, I felt a little odd physically escalating the interaction. Now it becomes a habit because I just cannot wait to isolate a girl and start kissing her. It is actually less like an approach anxiety, and more of an excitement to physically put the interaction into the next level of intimacy. Quote: Ok so its just one of those things where you just got to do it? Like jumping into a pool of cold water?

Author:	GamesSN [ Sun Mar 23, 2014 4:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
Quote: Quote: How you apply kino and how you set her aside from everyone else while maintaining your value within venues is key. 1. When you speak to her don't be afraid to put your lips to her ear if it's a loud environment. 2. Touch the small of her back whenever you can. 3. Touch her elbows instead of her shoulders, it's a lot more intimate than a shoulder tap is and you can hold it there and slide her hand towards yours. 4. Hold eye contact as you apply this kind of kino(Kino involved with facing her). 5. Tease her physically. Tickle, pinch and lightly punch her on the shoulder. She'll almost immediately start doing this in return. Boom, you've broken down all physical barriers short of actually kissing her and created a connection with her with simple kino. The thing about teasing her by pinching, tickling her and pushing her is it's intimate. Anyone else seeing this kind of interaction is going to think you're involved and treat you both as a couple. This plants the seed of you being a potential suitor in her mind as opposed to a friend when others treat you two as being involved already. Not many other guys are going to be on a level with a woman that they can be so physical with her. Now, the whole thing of setting her aside and treating her different to everyone else is important. This is you confirming to her that you like her. If you keep a solid frame and have the social value you can pretty much ramp up your attraction with her by treating her completely different to everyone else(In a good way obviously). Oh for crying out loud. She probably isn't that into you and I certainly wouldn't be all over her like a fucking rash, touching her whenever and wherever you can. It is a huge turn off for girls and you are just acting like a predatory fucking, little creep. Sorry if you see it that way but it's quite the opposite of what you're suggesting. It's only creepy if you're needy and give off the vibe that you're not comfortable with touching other people or having them touch you.

Author:	eltoro31 [ Mon Mar 24, 2014 9:17 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
Be a playful dick with her by putting her on the friend-zone first. It then becomes a challenge (a hoop) for her to compete/prove to you that she is higher status person, etc.

Author:	Snatch88 [ Sat Mar 29, 2014 7:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
I don't know the exact situation with this particular girl, and where you've gone wrong.. But you say it happens more often.. So My advise is :be clear about your intensions !when you meet a girl : flirt, neg , flirt , kino , neg, flirt , kiss close. For instance: 1 your looking good to day nice tan ,or whatever .. 2 I'm not a huge fan of : random item she wears 3 But I like your: tattoo/ necklace / bracelet 4 touch object : study it , make eye contact /smile 5 joke and say :wow your such a flirt! 6 observe reaction : is she smiling or pouting your in.., is she objecting: start at fase 1 and try to build comfort, repeat and make small talk .. 7 if she was laughing or made a joke back :smile and say I like it! 8 try to go in for the kiss or number close This is just some random stuff.. It's really not important what you say .. Create sexual tension .But you have to make clear you are interested in her, and not in being just "friends"

Author:	Monsignor Crisanto [ Sun Mar 30, 2014 1:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
Quote: As far as kino, its been light stuff like touching her arm, or sitting close for legs to touch, playfuly picking her up. Its different with every girl tho. Some are more comfortable with different things I've noticed. Are these wrong? Your kino is FUCKING gay. Focus on some of GameSN's kino pointers and you're good. I wouldn't recommend play punching the girl on her shoulder though. When a girl let's you hold her hand for several minutes without any resistance, find a reason to touch her hair, touch her face, blow warm breaths into her ear, covertly rub her nipple with your elbow, or rub your hand on her belly just above her pussy area.

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Author:	El Hombre [ Sun Mar 30, 2014 9:32 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: keep getting friendzoned
that guy GamesSN must be fuckin' good. you Rock Man!!