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Afraid of Closing
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=131850		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Kratos0909 [ Sun Mar 25, 2012 2:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Afraid of Closing
Ok so this is my first post and I am writing it because I dont think many guys have the same problem as I do. I apologize in advance for my bad grammar.

Basically, I am 19 and I have never kissed a girl.
I consider myself as a very social, average looking guy.

So my sticking point is: closing (kiss/make out). Since I have never kissed a girl I am honestly scared of it (more like terrified). I'm scared of messing it up, being laughed at and looking like a loser.

I have no problem with approaching in clubs and I think my conversation and kino with girls are pretty good, but I feel like everything I do with girls I subconsciously do it HOPING that I will fail so I dont have to face my fear.

For instance, I'm talking to a girl, I know she is into me and I'm almost completely sure that I can go in for the kiss but I am too scared of it. Because it is my first kiss (and I am honestly embarassed I havent kissed a girl at my age) I dont want to be laughed at.

This limits me SO MUCH. It is just insane. Last night girl approached me and started dancing with me while I was in a club with guys and I rejected her after a while because I didnt want to look bad kissing her.

Even while I'm writing this I can see how pathethic this all is.
What should I do? I know I have to man up, but every time I get into this situation I pussy out. If I drink too much alchohol I get rejected every time.

Thank you for reading this, any advices of how can I get rid of that fear?
Author:  P1nkstar [ Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Afraid of Closing
Quote:
Ok so this is my first post and I am writing it because I dont think many guys have the same problem as I do. I apologize in advance for my bad grammar.

Basically, I am 19 and I have never kissed a girl.
I consider myself as a very social, average looking guy.

So my sticking point is: closing (kiss/make out). Since I have never kissed a girl I am honestly scared of it (more like terrified). I'm scared of messing it up, being laughed at and looking like a loser.

I have no problem with approaching in clubs and I think my conversation and kino with girls are pretty good, but I feel like everything I do with girls I subconsciously do it HOPING that I will fail so I dont have to face my fear.

For instance, I'm talking to a girl, I know she is into me and I'm almost completely sure that I can go in for the kiss but I am too scared of it. Because it is my first kiss (and I am honestly embarassed I havent kissed a girl at my age) I dont want to be laughed at.

This limits me SO MUCH. It is just insane. Last night girl approached me and started dancing with me while I was in a club with guys and I rejected her after a while because I didnt want to look bad kissing her.

Even while I'm writing this I can see how pathethic this all is.
What should I do? I know I have to man up, but every time I get into this situation I pussy out. If I drink too much alchohol I get rejected every time.

Thank you for reading this, any advices of how can I get rid of that fear?
You know what to do... Grow balls ;)

Let us say, you kiss a girl... don't use your tongue immediatly. Kiss her without... that's not so hard is it? And then slowly escalate...

Do it calmly, but not doing it, will just make you more and more insecure.

Let us see the options here. You try to kiss a girl -> She rejects (Your confidence grows becuase you tried) -> She kisses you and it sucks (Your confidence grows becuase 1) you got over your fear 2) The next kiss you do is not your first) It will alwasy be a win - win situation. You just have to grow the balls ;)
Author:  NikAFC [ Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dude I can totally relate to your problem. I've been in the exact same situation 2 months before. I'd go out. I'd practice game. And I'd see so much IOIs from girls and I'd be afraid to kiss them. I've actually been in the literally same situation like you when a girl came to dance with me and was smiling to everything I said. Then I went into some shit routine I've read on the forum and she just left. 2 seconds later I see her making out with this random dude 2 meters away from me. She was a genuine HB 8.

After that happened I just realized it's afraid of kiss closing is just like approach anxiety. I've been using the trust test from mystery and I remember the first night I've kissed a girls on the same night I was so happy that went on and kiss another 3 or 4 girls :D

Now I don't consider myself the best kisser in the world so I'd rather not give you specific advise on making out but I generally reckon that teasing them and stop kissing them is the best technique.

It's feeels so great man u'll love it just drop your balls and do it. I also recommend you to grab her ass and squeeze it so it feels even better haha
Author:  Kratos0909 [ Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you for the support guys!

Same sh*t happened to me yesterday though...
But nevermind, tonight I'm going out and I will try to do it. I think that whenever girl comes and dances near me and is giving me IOI-s I overanalyze situation and sooner or later I get to that part "I never kissed a girl". Maybe I should be more instinctive about this stuff (At least when I get over my fear)

Wish me luck :)
Author:  dlightmen [ Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
The best advice I can give is this: just do it.

I was stuck on the confidence in the kiss close for a while (now I'm kinda stuck on the f-close).

One night after a date, the lady came into my place. I was getting IoI's left and right. I was stone-cold-sober too. I just thought to myself, Fuck It!

Walked right up to where she was sitting, gave her a kiss. NOT a peck either, good real kiss. She put her arms around me, and she loved it. It totally did wonders for my confidence. The next week end she came over, stayed the night, and I hit that! :)


EDIT: you can problem google, "how to kiss". I'm sure there are tips out there on this Internet thingy. Practice on a strawberry or something. That's what Mystery did with his pupils on PUA from VH1
Author:  NikAFC [ Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Man I can\'t believe you\'re having trouble kissing again. You think kissing is a problem?

I have f-closing anxiety lol.
Last night I opened this two set and basically just stayed with them for 5 minutes before my target asked me if I wanna go with them to their place. Went to theirs and nothing happened.

Of course the sooner you kiss them the better but kissing means absolutely nothing and the sooner you realize that the better.
Author:  GetFamiliar [ Mon Apr 02, 2012 9:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Man I can\'t believe you\'re having trouble kissing again. You think kissing is a problem?

I have f-closing anxiety lol.
Last night I opened this two set and basically just stayed with them for 5 minutes before my target asked me if I wanna go with them to their place. Went to theirs and nothing happened.

Of course the sooner you kiss them the better but kissing means absolutely nothing and the sooner you realize that the better.
Bullshit advice. If the man wants to kiss then let him kiss. Your valuation of kissing is irrelevant.
Author:  NikAFC [ Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Man I can\'t believe you\'re having trouble kissing again. You think kissing is a problem?

I have f-closing anxiety lol.
Last night I opened this two set and basically just stayed with them for 5 minutes before my target asked me if I wanna go with them to their place. Went to theirs and nothing happened.

Of course the sooner you kiss them the better but kissing means absolutely nothing and the sooner you realize that the better.
Bullshit advice. If the man wants to kiss then let him kiss. Your valuation of kissing is irrelevant.
I love it when someone calls me on something and doesn't even justify his reasons. That's the difference between a good pua and bad one. A good pua can tell you why something's good/bad. The guy's obviously having trouble with balls k-closing. If you have better advice go for it and share it. If not agree with me give your reasoning instead of making empty "bullshit" statements.
Author:  Kratos0909 [ Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Man I can\'t believe you\'re having trouble kissing again. You think kissing is a problem?

I have f-closing anxiety lol.
Last night I opened this two set and basically just stayed with them for 5 minutes before my target asked me if I wanna go with them to their place. Went to theirs and nothing happened.

Of course the sooner you kiss them the better but kissing means absolutely nothing and the sooner you realize that the better.
Bullshit advice. If the man wants to kiss then let him kiss. Your valuation of kissing is irrelevant.
I love it when someone calls me on something and doesn't even justify his reasons. That's the difference between a good pua and bad one. A good pua can tell you why something's good/bad. The guy's obviously having trouble with balls k-closing. If you have better advice go for it and share it. If not agree with me give your reasoning instead of making empty "bullshit" statements.
Actually, this was a pretty good advice NikAFC . Never thought of it that way. I think that mindset is the way of beating my kissing anxiety :D

The problem was that I got sick so I couldn't go out. I'll tell you how it went after Saturday. Thank you for all the support :D
Author:  NikAFC [ Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Another piece of advice man. When you actually kiss the girl/s don't say nothing. Just escalate. Grab her ass, touch her belly, slowly move to her tits if you want. The best for me is to put my hand in her pants. Don't rush it though. Do it smoothly and slowly.

When kissing her tease. Pretend that you are about to kiss her then stop. Then kiss her and make sure you are the first to stop. You can kiss her on her neck bite her ears, maybe lick peck her lips and finally when you kiss them with your tongue just grab her ass with two hands or with one and with the other the back of her neck and pull her really tight towards you.

That whole thing could be done in 5 minutes just don't SAY ANYTHING. Just enjoy it.

If you are thinking that you wanna kiss her and not sure. Don't wait for iois. Grab her hand and caress it. If she doesn't pull her hand away just do it.
Author:  Kratos0909 [ Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Another piece of advice man. When you actually kiss the girl/s don't say nothing. Just escalate. Grab her ass, touch her belly, slowly move to her tits if you want. The best for me is to put my hand in her pants. Don't rush it though. Do it smoothly and slowly.

When kissing her tease. Pretend that you are about to kiss her then stop. Then kiss her and make sure you are the first to stop. You can kiss her on her neck bite her ears, maybe lick peck her lips and finally when you kiss them with your tongue just grab her ass with two hands or with one and with the other the back of her neck and pull her really tight towards you.

That whole thing could be done in 5 minutes just don't SAY ANYTHING. Just enjoy it.

If you are thinking that you wanna kiss her and not sure. Don't wait for iois. Grab her hand and caress it. If she doesn't pull her hand away just do it.

Hey thanks for another good advice man. Just one question. I dont understand what do you mean by "caressing". English is not my mother language so I honestly don't know what caressing means and how it should've been done. :S
Author:  NikAFC [ Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:59 am ]
Post subject: 
When you hold hands with a girl and slowly moving and rubbing your hand and fingers against hers. If you do that and she is doing it back with you then you can even put your fingers in between hers.
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