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sticking point with friends and social life in general
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Author:  Libertine Aim [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:51 pm ]
Post subject:  sticking point with friends and social life in general

Hey guys,
First of all: I know this is a forum where the main-discussion is about how to pick up women.
Still I personally find it important to pay as much attention on the other social areas of you life, like having good and healthy relationships with your friends.
It both make you happy to have good friends, and will eventually help your game.
So it's a WIN/WIN :)
I have a returning problem with a social area in my life that I would like to get some opinions on - I dont know where I keep screwing up, but its killing me, and I would really like to improve myself.
Here it goes:
For a long time now Ive seen a returning pattern for me in all of my friendships.
I have a dusin of what I will consider as close friends.
In those relationships it's allways me who contact them if I want to see them.
It's very rare that I get contacted by my friends.
Here's why it fucks me up and I dont know what Im doing wrong:
Every time I contact them they are allways happy to hear from me and fresh to hang out, etc..
When we meet up I'm, in most cases, the alpha - I get the attention, control the chatting and make them laugh.
They seek advice from me and I give it to them, etc..
Still when we seperate I don't hear from them untill I contact them again.
There can go weeks and it allways ends up with me thinking:
"Fuck it, I know I contacted him/her last time, but I would really like to hang out with my friend and it dosent seem to happend if I dosent take initiative".
When its friday and I wanna go out its rare that I get calls like:
"Where are you?", "What are you doing tonight?", "Wanna come to this party?" from my friends. But when I contact them, they are like:
"Dude, you are more than welcome to drop by this party! It would be the bomb!".
I often end up feeling lonely even thou I have a lot of good and nice persons around me.
I'm tired of being the person that work to keep the friendsship alive, and Im often in doubt that they consider me as good friends that I consider them.
I would really appreciate some advice!
//LA

Author:  fortyfour [ Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:47 am ]
Post subject: 

dude are you by any chance in NY because I have found this to be the case with most of my friends since I moved to NY

Author:  ElectricFervor [ Sat Mar 24, 2012 8:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

It's hard to find good friends. But ask yourself: Are you listening to them when they talk about themselves? Are you asking them questions about what's important to them and what's up in their lives? Sounds like you may not be a good listener. Try to pay close attention to them and empathize with what they're saying.

Read Dale Carnegie's [i]How to Win Friends and Influence People.[/i] His #1 rule is that you must always make the person feel important.

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