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problem of losing initial attraction
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Author:  bounty_killa [ Fri Mar 16, 2012 1:12 am ]
Post subject:  problem of losing initial attraction
Hey guys, I have no problem opening a girl and getting her number. Then for a short while(a week or two) there's a spike of interest, after which it seems the attraction just disappears. I'm not sure if I'm showing too much, or too little interest.

Why does this keep happening?

P.S this is university game.
Author:  snillaheart [ Fri Mar 16, 2012 2:17 am ]
Post subject: 
what happens in that week or two? do you meet up outside of school?
Author:  bounty_killa [ Fri Mar 16, 2012 2:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
what happens in that week or two? do you meet up outside of school?
We meet up at school. I think that these meet-ups (might be to grab food or something) generally go very well since we're both having a good time.

I've noticed these girls are 'good girls.' Does the prospect of liking someone, and getting their emotions involved, scare them?
Author:  snillaheart [ Fri Mar 16, 2012 3:03 am ]
Post subject: 
maybe they view it as a freindly get together kinda thing, try to hang out with them outside of school or just ramp up the flirting and see how it goes

in my experience theres insecure/shy kind of girls which respond fairly well to flirting and they like it and enjoy it but then theres the good girls who are a bit more reserved and will require more time
Author:  afcACE [ Fri Mar 16, 2012 3:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Great job on having the confidence to approach the girl...steps to build interest.

1.) get girl 1 to meet girl 2...introduce girls to otehr girls.

2.) hangout once a weeek doing at most hour activity


Girls could be having buyers remorse.

My question for you. How did you approach them. step by step
Author:  bounty_killa [ Fri Mar 16, 2012 3:33 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Great job on having the confidence to approach the girl...steps to build interest.

1.) get girl 1 to meet girl 2...introduce girls to otehr girls.

Girls could be having buyers remorse.

My question for you. How did you approach them. step by step
What does introducing girls you've opened do? Competition?

Example:
-hb7 was sitting by herself, doing school work in the foodcourt, on campus
-after i eat lunch with my friends i get up and ask her : "hey..what are you doing there"
-she looks at me and then looks back at her work (ignored or thought i wasn't talking to her?)
-i stand next to her and make a guess of what it was (actually got it right)
-i have opened her and i sit, we chat and i get her number just by asking her, 'whats your number?')

Then a week after she wants to meet me, but I'm really sick so I can't.

The following week I text her and try to arrange a meet-up; she's busy. This cycle of excuses continues for another week at which point I say:

"hey after class@the foodcourt...or we're through.. :P" and she actually agrees.
When I call her the next day she's on her way home! She ditched me!
Author:  snillaheart [ Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:36 am ]
Post subject: 
judging by your interaction id say shes not interested, getting a phone number doesn't mean anything you have to attract her and get her to actually "like" you so she doesnt say things like "im busy". its good you got her number tho try to take it as far as you can with her just keep on approaching and your game will soon get better
Author:  pumpington [ Fri Mar 16, 2012 10:23 am ]
Post subject: 
welcome to your introduction to phone numbers,

they mean very little, just like kissing means very little,

ways to further your chances,

1)having interest from her
2)getting her to invest
3)moving things forward

so interest from her is as easy as being fun to talk to, and she doesn't find you hideous

getting her to invest is as easy as getting her to talk about herself and connect with you (basically you get to know her), also physical escalation can count as investment, a girl will feel closer to a guy she has cuddled/made out with, then she will to the random guy she talked to for 2 minutes, time is also investment

moving things forward is as easy as, trying to progress things towards sex, your goal is not the phone number, your goal is not the kiss, your goal is not the conversation, your goal is the sex, try to make that happen, if she is making it incredibly difficult, then maybe she is not interested in having sex with you, and you would be better off just talking to a different girl (you can talk to several new ones a day)
Author:  bounty_killa [ Fri Mar 16, 2012 10:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
snillaheart and pumkington, in that situation I see how you can say that she's not invested enough.

Then there's situations where I might spend about an hour every week with someone, she'll tell me personal things and we just have a good time together. And then after a while (maybe a few weeks later) she'll just totally avoid me. As in avoid eye contact or try to take alternate routes so we don't have to meet.

It happened once before, and I'm seeing it starting to happen with another girl. I'm confused. What can cause this?
Author:  snillaheart [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 1:36 am ]
Post subject: 
if i were you i wouldnt read into these situations, look at the big picture if shes interested shed be responsive and availalbe if shes not interested its obvious as well...the shit youve got for example there isnt any interest.

sometimes you have to take things at face value, dont give it any further meaning, if shes there talking about personal things than she just wanted to talk to someone have someone to listen to her kinda like a psychologist...and other times when she purposely avoids contact than shes just not interested in a conversation at that time but doesnt wanna be rude by ignoring you.

its nothing youre doing "wrong" its that sometimes she feels like talking to someone and other times she does not, the big picture is she not interested and that youve fallen into the "harmless guy who will listen and give me attention" category which is where your real problem is, youre the nice guy sorry
Author:  bounty_killa [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 2:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Hmm then I need to find the line between creating comfort and friendzoning myself..

More negging, more games..more routines? I usually just use situational topics and try to be cocky funny from there.
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 3:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Hmm then I need to find the line between creating comfort and friendzoning myself..

More negging, more games..more routines? I usually just use situational topics and try to be cocky funny from there.
Sometimes it is completely not personality related, there could be a ton of reasons, and it might not even be you or related to her not liking you, when you encounter a time waster, Don't waste your time, you don't have to fully delete her contact info (though I reccomend doing so if you're needy for her), just cut contact down with her and move on, continue to invite her out less and less frequently the more she flakes, Don't pay too much mind to it unless you notice this pattern is happening over and over, then it is time to re evaluate what you could do to improve your self
Author:  bounty_killa [ Sun Mar 18, 2012 4:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Hmm then I need to find the line between creating comfort and friendzoning myself..

More negging, more games..more routines? I usually just use situational topics and try to be cocky funny from there.
Sometimes it is completely not personality related, there could be a ton of reasons, and it might not even be you or related to her not liking you, when you encounter a time waster, Don't waste your time, you don't have to fully delete her contact info (though I reccomend doing so if you're needy for her), just cut contact down with her and move on, continue to invite her out less and less frequently the more she flakes, Don't pay too much mind to it unless you notice this pattern is happening over and over, then it is time to re evaluate what you could do to improve your self
Yeah the problem then is that I'm a nice guy. I've worked on overcoming anxiety so that my approaches and conversations are great but apparently I'm not a challenge to these girls.
Author:  pumpington [ Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:20 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Hmm then I need to find the line between creating comfort and friendzoning myself..

More negging, more games..more routines? I usually just use situational topics and try to be cocky funny from there.
Sometimes it is completely not personality related, there could be a ton of reasons, and it might not even be you or related to her not liking you, when you encounter a time waster, Don't waste your time, you don't have to fully delete her contact info (though I reccomend doing so if you're needy for her), just cut contact down with her and move on, continue to invite her out less and less frequently the more she flakes, Don't pay too much mind to it unless you notice this pattern is happening over and over, then it is time to re evaluate what you could do to improve your self
Yeah the problem then is that I'm a nice guy. I've worked on overcoming anxiety so that my approaches and conversations are great but apparently I'm not a challenge to these girls.
the whole misconception is that guys hear the term ''NICE GUY'' and assume it has something to do with being friendly or mean, when in reality it usually is a term a girl will use for a guy who is needy, or who she likes but not sexually (nice guy, but very much so not physically attracted to him, or he is really not her type) don't worry about this, as previously stated, just don't be needy, don't waste your time on girls who are not giving compliance, you don't need them, let them know you want them, try to move things forward, but if you are having problems, just meet new girls, and let the problems work themselves out, as they are not your problems to solve, if a girl has issues that is her baggage, find a girl who doesn't, the more options you have, and the more you go out and make more options for yourself, the less this will bother you, some girls will play by your rules, some will not, don't bother going after girls that cause problems, just go for what you want, figure out if you can get it, if you can cool

if you are seeking companionship make a genuine attempt at making a connection and getting to know a girl, as well as moving things forward, don't be afraid to escalate fast, girls want sex just as much as guys if not more, if you get the feeling they don't, then she probably does want sex as bad as you, just not with you in particular, and don't even sweat that, it is why you approach, to find out, getting to the yes or the no is the whole point, you want to screen out the girls that are not interested, and find the girls that are, and then further screen the girls that are interested for what you are looking for

you don't game one girl, you game lots of girls, and find that one girl, some flake, some don't,

go do 30 approaches, and request a number from every approach, follow up on the numbers you get, if every single number you get flakes, reconsider what you are doing wrong, I sincerely doubt being friendly has much to do with it (unless you are comming off needy), and if you develope the mind set that you are going out to get to know girls to figure out if you like them, so you can give them your approval, rather then to go see if they like you so you can get their approval, then you will be better off, you don't need a specific girl to respond to you, just execute the fundamentals, and move things forward

if you run into problems, just assume it is her not you, until you notice there is a pattern, then try to figure out what is causing this negative pattern and correct the problem
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