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Inner state sticking point
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Author:  Dissonance [ Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Inner state sticking point

I spend a lot of time on the ocean and spend too much time in my head. My inner state is affected when I speak to women.

This specifically happens when I notice that I’m getting tripped up by over thinking something or analyzing the interaction

They feel the change in me and mirror my slightly negative inner state and it breaks report. This happens all the time now. And it’s terrible for me because it makes me look uncomfortable. If I laugh it would come out nervous.

So I have to move out of fun mode and into something more intense to be congruent with the emotion Im feeling. Still this only works a little better.

HOW do I alter my deep inner state when I get in my head?

Author:  ElliottGordon [ Thu Feb 23, 2012 10:33 pm ]
Post subject: 

The first thing that you need to do is identify when your state shifts. It sounds like you've already done that–you know exactly when you go from being in a good state to a nervous state. Most guys aren't aware of the shift or even that “state" exists. you are already on the right track.

The next thing you need to do is become a master of it. Make note of every time your state shifts, why shifts, and how you can change your body language to maintain a poker face until it goes away. We all face challenges that affect our state, but the masters know how to handle it without getting emotional.

This is something that only you can do for yourself, because only you are aware of what's going on inside. A good coach might be able to help you in person, but it certainly can't be done in a forum setting.

Author:  Dissonance [ Fri Feb 24, 2012 7:18 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
The next thing you need to do is become a master of it. Make note of every time your state shifts, why shifts, and how you can change your body language to maintain a poker face until it goes away.
Thats it right there. Thank you for the insight.

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