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| Can't seem to kino at all. https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=118622 |
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| Author: | Darth Skater [ Fri Oct 21, 2011 2:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Can't seem to kino at all. |
I've figured out what my major sticking point is right now, I have a huge problem touching people. I know what's primarily causing it too. Back when I was younger in school I got bullied a lot and went trough primary school being very introverted. I then met my girlfriend who I ended up being with for 9 years. I was as AFC as anyone can be back then and basically bowed down to her every wish, I was young and stupid and madly in love. As the years rolled by she got me in this chokehold and I was never really able to be myself and build a good self-esteem. It's no wonder things went sour (kinda surprised now it didn't happen sooner) and the last 2 years were a living hell. Constant fighting and verbal abuse and lies, finally she ended up having an affair with another man. So we broke up finally for good about 3 months ago and although I've gotten action since then I still have deep difficulties opening up myself to people. Right now I rely on alcohol to free my inhibitions when going out. I realize a big part of my problem is basically traumatic experiences that override reasoning. It's hard to maintain control when your brain issues a fight or flight response every time you should be open. What I'm lacking is trust for people, it also makes it very hard to tell if someone's being sincere with you. It distorts reality. I've been working mainly with this thing right now and it's very challenging. Sometimes I have a great day and it feels like I'm improving like hell but the progress just seems to vanish very quickly. It's huge work just to get the bar set a little higher than previously. I've been reading a lot on the subject and trying to incorporate all sorts of exercises into my daily life. I would love to hear more though, if anyone have any good advice on how to overcome this I'd love to hear it. I'm 100% this is the biggest thing standing in my way to learn the art of the PUA. |
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| Author: | JSmooth [ Fri Oct 21, 2011 3:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
The only way to start believing that people are being genuine with them starts in your own mind obviously. You have to allow yourself to believe that they are. I can certainly understand this and have definitely had similar thoughts. The bottom line is you just have to given in and trust people are being genuine. It may help to talk to a counselor about what's happened in the past to help you come to terms with it and so you can move on with life. |
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| Author: | Darth Skater [ Fri Oct 21, 2011 3:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I've done the whole talking with a counselor thing and honestly I never got much out of it. My problem is I'm very consious about my problems myself and usually it just went circles around me stating the obvious. It's very frustrating because on a logical level I understand things just fine but my emotional side doesn't. So far I've had the biggest success with this actually talking to friends about my problems. I guess part of it is also shame about reacting in those ways and telling someone close helps a bit with that. It's not that I'm not making progress but it is very frustrating. |
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