Thank you for you advices, having thought about it like that - I like that it brings a more positive aspect in it!
Catch you on the flip-side,
//La
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| Problem being alpha - BF overshines me - really need help https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=116192 |
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| Author: | Libertine Aim [ Sun Sep 25, 2011 5:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Problem being alpha - BF overshines me - really need help |
Hey guys. I really need help on this one! Him: He's tall. He's fit. He's funny, sharp-minded and very talk-active. He have a good sense in style and is the kind of person who says exactly what comes into his mind. He is very good at making new friends and meeting new people, and he have the ability to make everyone admire him, and talk about him when he's not there - I know, because we have a lot common friends. Me: I'm a small person (5'7 feet tall), dosent have the greatest look and my natural voice is a bit high-pitched. My problem is that I often feel like he overshines me. Let me give you an example: A couple of months ago I was in a long-term relationship. One time I was at a bar with my girl and him. We were sitting there, drinking some beers and talking. They hitted it off very well, and that made me happy - until she began to show him IOI's. When I said something I only got respons from him, and she kept smiling and laughing at he's responses (ignoring what I said). She began to exclude me from the talking by asking him questions, and build up an 1 on 1 conversation with him. There were litteraly times where I didn't say anything for about 10-15 minutes. Not because I didn't wanted to, but because I was excluded from the convo. He overshined me the whole night, and at our way home, she kept asking questions about him. It made me really frustrated because I didn't know how to handle it Alpha. And it keep happening to me - just with our common friends. I can sit and have a conversation with someone, but I always get this question five minutes in the talk: "When does he come" or "What have he been up to lately?" He cock-blocks me when we are out picking up girls, and I often end up being silent because he is so bombastic and dosen't let me talk. When I try to say something funny or tease him a bit when we are in group-situations he always find a way to make me silent - often by making fun at me. He is my closest friend, like a brother to me. We have a hell of a time when we are in 1 on 1 with each other, where we make each other laugh alot. But as soon as there is more people involved, I become a shadow of him. I've blamed myself for a long time - I always find a reason why it keep happeing. Ether I'm to small, otherwise I'm too ugly or anything like that. Buttom line, it frustrates the hell out of me because he is my best friend, but he makes me beta in social situations - all the time. I know it's a big question, but really, anything would help - relating stories, good specifick advices to what to say or how to act/handle in situations, something I could read that could help me. Anything. //LA And btw. - feel free to ask for more examples of group-situations with him. |
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| Author: | pumpington [ Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
hey man, you are actually in a good position if you realize it or not, my best friend is retardedly good looking, same sort of thing happens, as long as you can trust him around girls you like then you are in a great position, you have someone that you can bring around with you that is high value to girls, don't worry about outshining him, that should not be your goal, be happy that you have someone so attractive hanging out with you, in the end it might get you laid just simply having it known that he is your friend, focus more on just having fun when you are out with him, the less you try to outshine him, and the less you try to get the girl, and the more you just focus on yourself having a good time, the better your situation will become, if you are feeling insecure, people will notice, if he is making you stop talking, then obviously you are feeling insecure about something, you need to figure out what those issues are and eliminate them, you are only cut out of conversations if that is what you believe in your head, you shape your own reality, just think when you are in a situation with him and a group, what can I do to make this situation better, how could i make this more fun, |
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| Author: | Habitual Jerk [ Mon Sep 26, 2011 2:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Change of FRAME!!! Don't be frustrated. This can be a great learning opportunity for you. A lot of guys who are new to pick-up would kill to have someone like this to model after. Start consciously taking notice of how he operates and incorporate it into your own personality. You can take things you like and leave things you don't. |
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| Author: | Libertine Aim [ Wed Sep 28, 2011 4:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thank you for you advices, having thought about it like that - I like that it brings a more positive aspect in it! Catch you on the flip-side, //La |
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