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rea001 | PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 12:37 am | |
Offline | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2007 3:18 pm Posts: 21 | Hi, I'm recently separated and going through a divorce. Long story short, we never got along. Anyway, there is this really hot chick at work that's been there for about a year. I just recently found out that she's had the hots for me the whole time. Better late than never, right? She would come to my cubicle almost every day to get me to do something for her. I didn't really think anything of it. I was married anyway.
Well, things have changed, and I'm living in a new apartment and living single again. I’m just moving on (so to speak). Once I found out that this girl liked me, I started flirting back. We talk through emails, on the phone, and we'll find a place to talk that's private for just for a minute or 2 at work. This girl is really nice to me, and it's not something I'm used to. She's flaky though. She says stuff like "you need to go back to your wife and then I'll see you" or "you're still married I can't see you" (but my marriage is separated and already filed for divorce). She'll set dates with me then changes her mind the next day. Now I'm becoming obsessed - trying to call and text too all the time. I tell her that I like her a lot. She never initiates a conversation now, but when we talk she tells me she really likes me. Then the next sentence she'll talk about my broken marriage and how I should work it out. What should I do to get w/ her?
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Surreal | PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 1:46 am | |
Offline | Member of MPUA Forum | | Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:09 am Posts: 117 Location: Arkansas | Few words for you..
One-itis
Needy
To interested
THINK cat/string and use the theories talked about...You've given us a report of things that go COMPLETELY opposite from what is advised and you've come up with a result that is typical to how you've gone about it. _________________ ~Surreal
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"Why do we fall, sir? So that we might better learn to pick ourselves up."
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rea001 | PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 3:41 am | |
Offline | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2007 3:18 pm Posts: 21 | Thanks for the reply.
Say I don't make any intiative to contact her tomorrow. What do I tell her when she asks why I haven't called because I can hear her now (Fine, if that's the way you want it. You don't care...blah blah blah. You're playing games...yada yada yada)?
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rea001 | PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 3:21 pm | |
Offline | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2007 3:18 pm Posts: 21 | So, today I've decided not to initiate a conversation with her. She hasn't come around or said anything to me. I see her in the hall talking to people, and I just smile and keep walking because I want to portray that I'm not needy. It's as if she could care less. Now if I did initiate something, she would be all in. This doesn't make since, but I'm not going to get walked on like my ex did. If she doesn't deem it important to try to talk to me then so be it, right?
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Lashram01 | PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 9:31 pm | |
Offline | Member of MPUA Forum | Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2007 12:15 am Posts: 102 Location: Texas | when she says you should work it out you should reply with something like
"she couldnt handle me and you probably couldnt either" - remember to say it in a jonking manner, smile. . . or "She had her chance, if you play your cards right you might get one."
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rea001 | PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 4:33 pm | |
Offline | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2007 3:18 pm Posts: 21 | Ok, ignoring her and trying to get her to come to me is a really bad idea. Girls just aren't initiators-men are. Now I see that it's ok to go to them as long as I'm not (as stated before) needy. Just pop in and out. Leave her wanting to finish the conversation or talk some more.
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f0nx | PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 5:49 pm | |
Offline | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 2:11 pm Posts: 74 AOL: samwiththasammy | I cant agree with you on the whole intiators theory, woman def can and do play that role, my ex for example she was always the first to call or im me, she did get pissy baut it once in a while but in the end shed always call or im. _________________ a good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow
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rea001 | PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 7:23 pm | |
Offline | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2007 3:18 pm Posts: 21 | I guess you're right because I have had girls pursue me. I'm just not having any luck with this girl. She flip-flops more than a fish out of water. One minute she's hot and the next she's cold. Playing some sort of game.
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L.A. Tripp | PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 8:23 pm | |
| EXACTLY. She's playing you. And, what's worse is you've ALREADY let her. Too late bud.
The ONLY way I can see for you to salvage this, IF it's possible, is to have another girl, or girls, around you that are fairly into you. They don't need to want to fuck you, but you need to be able to vibe with them really well. Have fun whenever they are around so they WANT to be around you more. Things like that, because THAT will make this girl jealous, IF she has any interest left in you at all. And THAT is what she needs to feel, if there is any chance for you two.
Other than that, it IS a one-itis and you need to just flush her.
Just remember, you DON'T NEED her.
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swiftone | PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 10:47 pm | |
Offline | Member of MPUA Forum | | Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 7:42 am Posts: 147 Yahoo Messenger: goodbeingtheking Location: Cali | I know what the problem is and I know exactly how to solve it.
-The reason why she was so into you before was because you were taken. I knew a girl who was all over me and we even had sex at work (i love Over-time) and I asked her once why she did it if she was married and I was too and she said just the thrill of getting caught.
-you made yourself too available and thats the CatString theory.
Solution: I don't know what type of work you do but if you could go in a suit one day go and take two different ties and say "hey if you were to go on a date with me which tie would you say catches your attention more?" if she asks if you're going on a date ignore the question and ask again, "which one?" when she picks one say "yeah that's what (another co-worker) said thanks" and then tell her you're gonna go on a double date with a friend tonight. "I'll tell you how it goes tomorrow" Practice saying it so it sounds like you seriously need her opinion and you're Oblivious to the fact that she likes you and you like her.
Fear of Loss, she'll come to you again. or you could approach her and ask her, "question, say you're going out with someone for the first time, is it better to go to the movies or dancing?"
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L.A. Tripp | PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 11:04 pm | |
| Excellent points there. Run with SwiftOne's suggestions rea.
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rea001 | PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 7:00 am | |
Offline | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2007 3:18 pm Posts: 21 | Tonight we did everything, except fuck. After an hour together, she got up and ran off. She was freaking out about my whole marriage/divorce thing. Then she wanted to talk on the phone forever that same night. I finally told her that I would never have run off on someone like that. She told me that if she's such a bad person that I should stop talking to her. So, I told her that I would and hung up.
Man, what did I do? I've never seen her in regular clothes. I've only seen her in office outfits. She was a freaking 10, and I've been with some fine women. Damn, she was dressed for sex. She'll probably never talk to me again.
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arkmandluxe | PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 7:09 am | |
Offline | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2007 2:49 am Posts: 84 Location: PENN | oooh man I dont know but she may have been teasing you alot. If she kept reminding you of your ex-wife than she wasnt fully commited to you. Maybe their was no vibe or foreplay that night so she got disinterested and ran off. I think she was bullsh*ting that relationship the whole time. Just forget about her. Shes a player. _________________ Learn from my mistake...If a girl is interested in you and your interested in her, get her number before you get drunk.
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rea001 | PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 7:11 am | |
Offline | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2007 3:18 pm Posts: 21 | Then why would she do everything, but fuck? All that other stuff is pretty intimate, especially if we've never even so much as touched.
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dirtdog | PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 7:24 am | |
Offline | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:00 am Posts: 24 | She did everything but fuck, because she could. You've gotten one-itis. She flirted with you, because you were unavailible. Now she's playing you. Listen to the advice on this thread. Your just getting back into the "swing of things" from your divorce. While it could happen, this girl will probably steamroll you.
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