Issues with dating



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 Post subject: Issues with dating
PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 7:30 am 
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I am 15 years old, and so far, I've only had one serious girlfriend, and I don't even know how I did that anyway. I've had what I called "bad luck", but as I look back I realize I probably was the one who made a mistake.

-I've had a girl change her mind 3 days into the "relationship", if you can call it that, and go around telling my friends she doesn't like me. Not me, my friends. I reacted by confronting her about it, getting pissed, and totally erased any connection with her(she doesn't deserve my company after that).

-I've had a girl ask me out, which was so up front I was uncomfortable with it and said no.

-I've had a girl tell me she was interested in dating me(she didn't ask me out, persay), but a friend I thought I could trust told others, which spread back to her and made her hate me(I even tried explaining to her what happened; no luck).

-I frequently have girls flirt with me, but when I realize that I grow uncomfortable and my personality becomes more reserved, turning them off.

-I can sometimes interpret the signals incorrectly, giving myself false hope and I end up running into a metaphorical brick wall.

I am wondering, what should I do to fix this? Opening isn't my problem, I can talk to girls fine. It's the part that differentiates me from other guys in their mind, the part that makes me "dating material" that I have issues with. There are 3 girls right now that stand out as dating material to me, one of which I am in a friend position(which I don't mind, I have other options):

-The first is someone I've known for a while; she and I talk and flirt frequently, but I know the widely accepted fact is she does NOT date. I know this to be false, she would date if the right guy came along, but I don't know how to position myself as that guy. She knows I was interested in dating her at one point, although she doesn't know I still am. Any way I could put myself in that position in her mind without coming off like a creep?

-The second is a girl I recently met one of my classes(we sit next to each other). She started flirting with me before I even noticed her(waved to me in the halls whenever she saw me, grabbed my arm lightly when the got the chance, ect). Afterward I didn't really flirt;I talked to her when I felt like it, but nothing more really. It seems like that was a bad move, because she immediately turned off after a week or so and now she stopped flirting. This could either be genuine, or she could be trying to play hard-to-get after presenting herself as an opportunity. Either way, I'm having a hard time even holding a conversation with this one.

-The third is the one I'm just friends with; I'm going driving tomorrow in an empty parking lot, and she's coming. The problem with this one is she just broke up with her "one", and experience tells me thats a bad way to start, and it never leads anywhere good.

I don't know, really. I am confident that I am attractive, I just almost never take a relationship with a girl to "the next level". Any ideas?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 4:14 pm 
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first start byt buying the book "the game" by neil strass. BUY IT, READ IT, KNOW IT. mystery method by mystery too.

have confidence with your friend driving, keep you head and eyes high aways and assert confidence. shes your friend so you dont nessisaraly have to sarge. do what you feel comfortable with. but i thoink if u really wanted too you can do it.

oh and also. dont crash into anything
you cant learn anything if your dead

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"there are no unknockable doors, there are no unwinnable wars."


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 Post subject: Re: Issues with dating
PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 4:58 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 2:00 am
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Location: North Bergen,NJ
Quote:
-I've had a girl change her mind 3 days into the "relationship", if you can call it that, and go around telling my friends she doesn't like me. Not me, my friends. I reacted by confronting her about it, getting pissed, and totally erased any connection with her(she doesn't deserve my company after that).
-Good man.That actually happened to me once,except the girl thankfully didnt spread shit.Always be the man,and confront when necessary.
Quote:
-I've had a girl ask me out, which was so up front I was uncomfortable with it and said no.
Was it because it was uncomfortable?...or because you thought her unattractive?

If it's because unattractive,understood.

If it was just because up front....um,Why?I cant understand that.
Quote:
-I've had a girl tell me she was interested in dating me(she didn't ask me out, persay), but a friend I thought I could trust told others, which spread back to her and made her hate me(I even tried explaining to her what happened; no luck).
Dont you just love those backstabbing friends?

Well,of course this proves he isnt your friend,as he betrayed trust.Scrap that fool.

Remember man,Rep is evil.Because her friends knew,she was at risk of being talked about in "Did you hear that slut's hanging out with so and so?"

Slut is a word women have mortal fear of.Slut is the weapon against women.She might have liked you,but you're wonderful "friends" killed it.

It's ok homie.Happens to the best of us.Remember,NEVER...trust anyone.

...NEVER.
Quote:
-I frequently have girls flirt with me, but when I realize that I grow uncomfortable and my personality becomes more reserved, turning them off.
Inner game there dude.As you've said,you seem not to have inner game problems,but this situation is one of those moments where inner game is lacked.Enjoy the flirting.Remember,most guys here would kill for those moments,and those wasted opportunities are unacceptable(No harshness intended.That's how it works).
Quote:
-I can sometimes interpret the signals incorrectly, giving myself false hope and I end up running into a metaphorical brick wall.
I feel you on that one.Everyone runs into those walls.When you interpret incorrectly,just be non-responsive.It happens,and it should not affect progress.

As for you're potential targets:
Quote:
-The first is someone I've known for a while; she and I talk and flirt frequently, but I know the widely accepted fact is she does NOT date. I know this to be false, she would date if the right guy came along, but I don't know how to position myself as that guy. She knows I was interested in dating her at one point, although she doesn't know I still am. Any way I could put myself in that position in her mind without coming off like a creep?
Keep doing what your doing,and build on it.You come off as creepy when you come on EXCESSIVELY strong.Working the way you were working,is gonna give you success.EVERY girl dates,so there should be no prob with her.It's all a matter of interpreting her signals,and unfortunately,doing that is situational.You need to see for yourself and work it.I wish you luck on #1.
Quote:
-The second is a girl I recently met one of my classes(we sit next to each other). She started flirting with me before I even noticed her(waved to me in the halls whenever she saw me, grabbed my arm lightly when the got the chance, ect). Afterward I didn't really flirt;I talked to her when I felt like it, but nothing more really. It seems like that was a bad move, because she immediately turned off after a week or so and now she stopped flirting. This could either be genuine, or she could be trying to play hard-to-get after presenting herself as an opportunity. Either way, I'm having a hard time even holding a conversation with this one.
Attraction kills when left untampered for a while.Keep the fire going.Keep flirting constantly when you see any girl.As for this particular one,keep trying at it.She's probably thinking "Why hasn't he talked to me.This is getting weird".Make a BS excuse if necessary.#2 will be on guard,so keep that in mind.
Quote:
-The third is the one I'm just friends with; I'm going driving tomorrow in an empty parking lot, and she's coming. The problem with this one is she just broke up with her "one", and experience tells me thats a bad way to start, and it never leads anywhere good.
[/quote]

Give her time to heal.When women are distraught,they need their friends more than flirting.Well,when you go driving,make it fun.Do drifts,go at high speeds,show her tricks with the car(If you can).If you want,let her drive a bit(Free her of some stress).Challenge her to do certain things with the car.If the driving session goes good,she'll think of you a super fun guy,and you might have a chance to move past friends.

Hopefully that helps man.
The best of luck to you.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 2:57 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2006 6:07 pm
Posts: 311
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
Hello Cartman!

Well, believe it or not, I am the same age as you are! Only so-called "mentally older" or something like that. Well, anyways, I say DEVELOP YOUR PERSONALITY if you haven't done so yet. These are stressful years and sometimes it takes more courage to date than anyone would expect. Just make huge social circle, find some good friends, and keep in mind that girls of our age are either VERY self-conscious (so she'll go with you if you ask her out) or VERY confident (so if you manage to make attraction, she'll struggle to get you).

Enjoy! Good luck!

Carpe Diem.

_________________
You don't know the future, you can't change the past. The only thing that matters is THE CURRENT MOMENT.


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