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Love gurus give me a hand
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=30389		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Wit [ Sun Oct 19, 2008 5:12 am ]
Post subject:  Love gurus give me a hand
I feel like i need to be in "love" or have a somewhat similiar feeling in order to feel alive or have purpose. It motivates me to be a better person. Why is this? How do you rewire yourself to be happy and content with yourself. This is really screwing me up and i know its a total inner game problem i have. When it comes to girls i don't have a problem attracting girls im not into, but when im interested i can't seem to get them. I don't want to settle for second best in this area of my life, i only want what i perceive as the best. How do i do it guys? Im not in the game for one night stands and notches on my belt im in it for LTR.
Author:  base_player [ Sun Oct 19, 2008 1:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
hey man,

i feel your pain, i have pretty much the same problem/troubles.
think about how and why you attract those girls you're not into.
what do you do different, how do you appear different to them, than
with the girls you do want?

I also attracted in the past a bunch of girls, mostly a bit uglier than i
want, or a bit dumber, or a mixture of both. girls i did want, i saw
them as very valueable to my personal happiness. The girls that
ran after me, in my eyes, they weren't neccessary for me to feel
happy or content with myself. the girls i ran after, i saw as neccessary.

It's the whole question, are you the guy who runs after her to
get the validation for yourself by getting her? girls can smell that.
they will know by your bodylanguage, your tonality, the way you talk,
the things you talk, the way you treat them, if they have that power
over you. all girls are like that. thats why you come off like the
attractive guy to those girls u attract. you just have to learn
to act the same way to girls that you have a interest in. thats what
pick up teaches you. i think, to rewire yourself, as you put it, you need
success. it will validate you, and you will grow in confidence.
you will start to see things easier, more laid back, the more success you
have. until then, you will have to consciously put that needy inner
guy in you down. it's uncomfortable, acting in counter intuitive ways.
there are lots of things to do, like us canned material, and follow things like the 3 second rule, many things that can be done almost automatically
without having your mind and so the neediness fuck up your performance. you just gotta jump into the cold water i guess to find out that
the water is great to swim in.

goodluck
~base_player
Author:  Wit [ Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Thats true man, its the neediness that i need to hide. I don't like using routines, i don't like them, im a funny guy so i just do what comes natural but then when i see what i desire there is something in my inner game that screws me up. I think its due to the fact that my success has been low when it comes to girls i've aimed for.

For instance last weekend i allowed myself to be cockblocked by someone who i know i can out game but the killer instinct in me was dead...The thing that annoys was that i had set up everything perfect. Before the night i sms'd her that we're gonna have a pool (snooker) championship, loser has to do the winners bidding for the night. She was excited about this. When i got there i hardly gave her any attention because something inside of me froze and i acted all to cool for school and immediate awkwardness came up and i was subsequently cock blocked.

He isolated her and then sat her down with a group of friends at a far away distance from me...i didn't approach that group as there where no seats to sit on with that group, so i would've been standing over everyone and it would've looked obvious why i was there. Anyways the night was awful and i left without even saying goodnight to my target even though i said bye to her friends...it was blatantly awkward and so immature. And cause i was being distant she was too.

So what is some good positive reinforcement i can use for myself? Should i have just cavemaned it?
What would have you boys done?
Author:  Wit [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 3:57 am ]
Post subject: 
*bump*
Author:  Primitive [ Fri Oct 24, 2008 9:04 am ]
Post subject: 
Well the problem is right there, you can't get the girls that you're interested in. I would say the sole problem there that you probably push the girl away by showing too much interest too soon. You'll make her feel like she has done nothing to earn that interest or attraction you have for her. Which she'll connect to one of two things either "obviously this guy is only interested in my looks" or "this guy's emotionaly shallow and is attracted to anything that shows him attention". Which the later seems pretty much like the case. Which can be solved two ways. Deep inner change or fake it til you make it. Which means fake not showing much interest and attraction in her until it's mutual and she feels qualified for that attraction. First step is always to get her to show interest and attraction before you show her interest and attraction. And you must make her feel that she's earned that interest and attraction from you. Just remember those two rules. Don't show her that you're attracted to her until she shows you she's attracted, and make her feel qualified for your attraction.
Author:  Primitive [ Fri Oct 24, 2008 9:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Oops... I didn't read that second post you made... so I'll reinterate on that. I'd have to say it's a fear of loss really. If you're really interested in a particular target, like something about her really catches your eye, and you're like "damn I really want that one..." you're mind seems to focus too much on results. Which is more yourself saying "I can't lose this one after I go for it" Which tells the rest of you're body "then don't go for it". It's simply that you're mind starts focusing too much on results. Rather then actually focusing. It'll set you off balance. I'd say what you really gotta do is realize why a women is not attracted to guys who show interest too soon. When you see a girl that really bursts that little bubble in you, say to yourself "wait a minute... what is it about this chick that's caught my attraction so much? nothing really" and start looking at things about her that are UNattractive, maybe she's dresses like all her friends, she's a follower, maybe she's got some really tacky ear rings, what kinda chick would wear those? Just think of everything that you can possibly think of to put her down in your mind and make her seem unnattractive. Imagine there's a slab of fat hanging over her skirt or something lol start laughing at her in your mind, and once in YOUR mind her value hardly even exists... then go up and talk to her ;)
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