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Help with message reply - she's a pro Dating Advice Writer..
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Author:  robrob27 [ Wed Aug 17, 2011 8:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Help with message reply - she's a pro Dating Advice Writer..
..and a standard 10 on 10.

Brief background: girl from Uni, now a dating advice writer, recently got back in touch with & havent seen her since Graduation day 4 years ago. Been exchanging a few Facebook messages about writing & at points she has said "the way you find beauty in simple things is so special" & "i love, love, love your writing". So anyway this is all encouraging but we need to get down to logistics.

Idea is I have these 2 free theatre tickets & to take her. She knows about the tickets as I mentioned it before in a previous jokey exchange where I said I hadn't decided who to take yet. Ok so I will put below the final 3 messages condensed to the main quotes:

Her yesterday, 5pm: You should definitely start a blog. I'll support you all the way. That was so emotive and eloquent, I love! Did it have a particular person in mind? :)

Me yesterday 7pm: it is more about leading whoever she may be into the future vision of that setting, so she can feel the warmth of the night's breath alongside my own as she leans back against the tree. And it takes a certain kind of woman to bring that sort of thing out of me.

I hadn't thought about a blog - if I'm not at work or in the gym then I'm a Jack in my studio corner sat writing sounds. I still havent found a chance to get to the theatre yet.

Her today, 7pm: Well I stand by the blog idea...I certainly don't remember you having that much talent at uni...then again, I was prob quite self involved back then (my bad) haha. You should go it alone; if I had a quid for every time I went cinema or theatre alone, I'd be Facebooking you from Chelsea right about now :-) x

Ok so there seems to be a confusing contrast there - she is saying I "should go alone" yet seems to be hinting something with "if I had a quid for every time i went cinema or theatre alone". Hence my confusion about how to respond.
Author:  A_Steal [ Wed Aug 17, 2011 10:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
It sounds to me as though she wants to be asked but she doesn't want to beg you to ask her. She is giving the hint that she has had to go places alone that you normally go to on a date. This is her way of saying "I'm single and I have learned to deal with it." You always have to read between the lines with women.
Author:  robrob27 [ Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
i agree about the hinting, that's what I was implying with my comment at the end there. she is bright this one, believe me.

trouble is its been such an unusual back and forth in the sense of being way more "deep" than the playfulness im used to and i dont think i can just switch it to playfulness easily either, framing it as a prize or saying something like i don't want to have to learn to go to these places on my own. but also it doesnt feel quite like it'll work if i just say she can chaperone me, or something.

hence my posting, bit stuck. an afterthought but how about "i belive these things are much better shared. you should break your going alone habit once in a while, you might be pleasantly surprised".
Author:  A_Steal [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:50 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
"i belive these things are much better shared. you should break your going alone habit once in a while, you might be pleasantly surprised".
I'd go with that right there. It is slightly playful, yet serious enough to fit with what you have told us about this girl. Contrary to popular belief, I have found that being funny and playful all the time can scare certain women off. They will view you as no being serious enough to be a potential mate. What you came up with is witty enough to cover the playful part, but not so playful that you could end up disqualifying yourself.
Author:  robrob27 [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 3:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok I put that, basically, and here is her response:

"I too am a believer in sharing and I love falling in love; it's my favourite thing to do :-)
However, I've found myself in a difficult phase of my sweet life and have decided to focus solely on me...I might be wrong who knows.
I go on a few dates here and there but I'm rarely impressed...at the risk of sounding conceited :-) x"

And I was thinking it was too easy to impress her. So is this going to have to be a playful persistence thing?
Author:  A_Steal [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well she has presented you with a bit of a shit test here. She is trying to make you have to qualify to her. By saying she is rarely impressed she is telling you that it is going to be difficult to impress her and that you are going to have to do some ass kissing. You don't want to be that guy. You want to make her have to qualify to to you. If you end up chasing her you may very well get her, but you will have done it the AFC way and she will have all the power and she will know it. So you need to raise your value and make her try and impress you. Get it in her mind that she is the one that is going to be doing the impressing here.
Author:  robrob27 [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
and from what other people have said i reckon i need to combine that with getting away from the theatre idea aswell tho technically i havent actually asked her to the theatre, so i could start from that angle. cos she hasnt earned it properly yet.
Author:  A_Steal [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Exactly. You have to use some DHV or CF techniques to demonstrate that you are the one that is the prize here and that you require to qualify herself to you in order for her to get to go.
Author:  Don Draper [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 6:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Honestly speaking, I think that you should be honest about things.

Now, I'm a writer too and I know that what we can do with words appeals to the women's senses more than the average Joe.

That being said, sometimes you just need to say things in as simple way as possible. A simple, "I want you to come with me." is direct but states your intentions much more clearly.

Use selective honesty. It's disarms the target.
Author:  letloose [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 4:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey, heres my two cents.

my reply would be. "Ahh your bad, you missed out ;) i say we let someone else have all those quids you have been collecting. Come with me, i think its always an experience better shared"
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