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Friend from holiday...just a friend?
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Author:  se16 [ Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Friend from holiday...just a friend?
I met a girl on holiday when i was travelling and we got on really well and spent loads of time together doing day trips etc... She really reminded me of another female friend of mine, in fact it was uncanny, so i mmediately saw her as a friend and initially didn't have much attraction to her.

We kept in contact and ive tried to meet up with her a few times but shes a bit flakey, we make vague arrangements to meet up but then either she doesnt answer ot reply to texts or i dont follow up properly.

On saturday i called her and we chatted for about an hour, i didn't feel like i was playing game or anything and didn't think i came across that well because i was tired. We made an arrangement to meet up at cinema next week. During the call i mentioned that i was going to some gallery later in that day. Anyway whilst i was at the gallery she texted me and asked if i was still there. I just texted that i was and expected her to reply straight away if she was coming, but she didn't. since she has been so flakey in the past i didn't want to hang around on the off chance that she would turn up. Anyway 1 hour later after i left she texted me to say she was there! so i missed her :(

Anyway, i think she has some insecurities and im really not sure how she views me. So, should i pursue and risk runing our friendship?
Author:  alabatusa [ Tue Aug 16, 2011 1:16 am ]
Post subject: 
well... not much of a friendship as i see is it...
with flakey girls, just be direct... tell her im gonna be here at this time, be there. end up rocking their 10 minutes late. if shes on time she'll text you asking you where you are. I think the more solid/confident you are the less insecure she will be.
Maybe you are being flakey when your talkin to her? project confidence, and that you are a busy man, and that you dont have time to waste with maybes?
Author:  se16 [ Tue Aug 16, 2011 7:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
yeah, i think i haven't been direct with her because i haven#t considered here as a relationship option until now. i'm going to arrange some definitie plans with her this weekend and will report back.
Author:  se16 [ Sat Aug 20, 2011 10:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
ok so i called her last thursday and we arranged to meet up, so today we went out together and went on a guided tour in some historical grounds then on to a cool art installation at a gallery. afterwards we went out for dinner. conversation was flowing all day and into the night, after the meal she had to go to her friends place but was kind of not enthusiastic about going.

i did some kino escalation did some trinagular gazing. i did notice towards the end of the night she was giving kino touches back. i also noticed some pupil dilation and momentary almost trance like gazes from her

i didn't feel like there was a moment where i could have k-closed so didn't want to risk anything on our first date. she was really enthusiatic about meeting again and asked if i was free next friday so that we could do some circuit training together outside.

we have a great deal in common and we're both totally relaxed in each other's company. what im not sure about is if she is just like this with every guy becuase she's a very personable character and is the type to strike up a conversation with anyone.

how can i test her to see if shes interested?

how can i also avoid ruining our friendship if things dont work out?
Author:  se16 [ Thu Aug 25, 2011 10:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
so, she texts me today and says -

"Hello. You busy after work tomorrow?x"

me -

"busy whipping you into shape"

(we had already made a tentative plan to meet and do circuit training together)

her -

"Really? That would be great, only thing is, I have my friend coming to stay and she arrives at my place at 9. Is there enough time?"

me -

"lets do it when we have more time. btw keep thu 8 sep eve free.."

(i have something planned for this date that i want to take her to.)

her -

"Oh no, not enough time! Btw I can't exercise for v llong anyway ;) Sept 8th, I have friends bday dinner...why, what's on?"

me -

"a gothic fairytale surprise"

her -

"Oh no, miss out :("

so, seems like she's keen to meet up and shes becoming less flakey and her texts are longer and more responsive.

anyone have any thoughts on my situation?
Author:  se16 [ Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:57 am ]
Post subject: 
any advice or analysis of her texts?
Author:  Slip n Slide [ Sat Aug 27, 2011 5:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
any advice or analysis of her texts?
No real reason to analyze those, but I like that your texts are shorter than hers. They send the message that youre texting on the fly, while doing other things, and I think it's coming off well. Next time you see her in a "trance" moment, don't miss your opportunity to kiss her. Attraction spikes are amazing opportunities and you need to take advantage of them, even if it means kissing her in the middle of a story (in fact that's sometimes better, tell a story, if there's a moment where she seems really into you, kiss her, pull away first then keep telling your story. If she says something about it, and she probably will, just say "Oh, you looked like you needed to be kissed")
Author:  se16 [ Sat Aug 27, 2011 10:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
ok, thanks. yeah, i was consciously trying to keep my messages short and also i didn't reply straight away but she would reply back instantly. i have definitely noticed a shift in her attitude towards me

i have learned some hypnosis so i'm going to try a few techniques on her - finger induction, arm levitation then see if i can put her in a relaxed trance state via this method
Author:  se16 [ Tue Aug 30, 2011 7:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
she texted me yesterday evening:

"Heey. How was your w/e? You wanna do training this week?x"

i tried calling her 15 mins later but no reply. so, i haven't replied to her text yet. gonna leave it until she texts again or calls me.
Author:  se16 [ Wed Aug 31, 2011 10:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
ok so she texted me on monday eve and i tried calling her back 15min later but no reply. i'd like to make arrangements with her for fri eve so should i try calling her again or should i wait for her to contact me?
Author:  Slip n Slide [ Wed Aug 31, 2011 10:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
ok so she texted me on monday eve and i tried calling her back 15min later but no reply. i'd like to make arrangements with her for fri eve so should i try calling her again or should i wait for her to contact me?
Go ahead and text her. She's not comfortable with calls so why push it? Don't mention her texting you on monday or you calling. Good luck man!
Author:  se16 [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 7:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
so last night i tried calling her but her phone went straight to voicemail so 15 mins later i texted her -

"hey *******, lets meet tomorrow and do some training in the park. get ready to sweat ;) "

no reply.

so, she's the one that asks me to take her training and now it seems like shes gone cold.

had such positive feelings a few days back but now just seems like shes another flake.
Author:  se16 [ Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
---- > UPDATE

so the next day she texted me -

"How are you?x Sorry haven't called. Really want to do some training but just had a lot on yesterday and now on my way to see my fam. When could you do this week?xxx"

me -

"cool, lets do training on monday"

her -

"If yeah and I am free on 8th now!"

(i had previously asked her to come somewhere with me on 8th sep but she had said she was busy with a birthday dinner)

me -

"yes come with me on thurs!"

her -

"Great! Can't wait for some training! What's on thurs?x"

me -

"a night of fantasy and mystery"

few days later...

her -

"Training tonight? Eeeek I am so unfit....!"

me -

"my you are a plucky young lady aren't you? lets meet at xxx, i'll be back at 6.15-30"

her -

"Am I? Hah. So meet you at xxxxx at 6.15 then. What do I need with me?"

me -

"just suitable footwear and your gym gear"

next day...

her -

"Thighs-ouch"

me -

"no pain no gain"

her -

"Really did enjoy it you know. Maybe we can do nxt Monday if you're free x"

me -

"yeah i ad so much fun as well, you were amazing! you totally underestimate your ability"

next eve...

her -

"Full body cripple"

me -

"hehe, do some stretching and if you work hard next time i'll reward you with a massage"

so, we did the training sessions which went way better than expected and it was great fun for both of us, loads of kino, laughing, playing around etc... There was one moment when we had just finished and i thought there was a glimmer of a chance of a k-close but i didn't go for it. when she came back to my place she kind of made excuses to leave a grab food.

what does it alll mean? she seems interested but shes quite a nervy person, i think she might be a little insecure about herself
Author:  se16 [ Thu Sep 15, 2011 9:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
need some help with this one...
Author:  Slip n Slide [ Thu Sep 15, 2011 10:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
need some help with this one...
No you don't man. You know everything you need to do, and if you could stop thinking so much when you're around her you'd start doing it. Make a move, demonstrate your interest. Don't let the attraction fade because you were scared to act.
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