PUA Forum :: This is a confusing one

Does she know these are dates? Serious question.

If she does......

I mean - what else can you do? Try again. If she rebuffs you again I'd (and this is me, after 3 dates I'd have no patience left and I'd probably just bluntly throw it out there) --- laugh and say "Do I have bad breath? Cause I'm a pretty good kisser"

That'll put it out there and she'll at least tell you what the hell is up.

Like seriously - you have the patience for this? Just be blunt and ask... Some others here may not agree with this strategy, but hey, it's one girl - who cares?

Doesn't sound like you'd be missing out on a lot of action if she takes it the wrong way and fucks off... Who needs that crap, man? Especially if you've got other girls on the go who are open to moving a little more quickly.

Had a third date with this girl. Still no kiss.

Kino has been good all the way, she seems comfortable with me holding her, caressing her side, leading her with my hands around her waist and such. but she's rejected my 2
kiss attempts. first time she said it was too soon because she just got out of a relationship.

at the third date I really thought she was into me. she'd invited me over and cooked a fancy dinner for me and then we had wine. i went for the kiss and yet again she declined, i just said alright then with a smile and then continued convo.

she keeps accepting dates and even suggesting on her own so i just cannot fathom her not wanting to kiss. the second time she even brought me a gift for crying out loud lol.

My instinct tells me she's interested but we know its sometimes hard to judge a situation when you're in it. so what should be my next move? my patience is running thin tbh but at the same time i dont want to throw away a lovely girl.

i do have a date tonight with another girl so im spinning plates. just that the alluring hard to get girl is the one who gets your attention, as per usual..

She mentioned she wanted to cook for me again so I set up a fourth date with this girl (both had been on travels so it took a while). She cooked for me and we had wine. Again I had lots of Kino with her. Building up to me sitting with my arm around her, playing with her hair and stroking her neck. So I tried to kiss her then but she rejected (again.) and this time she didnt just say she wasnt ready yet but she said that she thinks we should be friends instead.

I just said Okey, and she said Okey? thats it? I said yeah. And then changed subject. Still with my arm around her, caressing her collar bone. She was all smiles and started to play with her hair.

Case closed but I'm posting to ask you guys if I really read her signals so wrong? I'm usually confident in reading a womans signal.

- cooks for me (when I asked her if she cooks often she said, no never)
- she lets me kino her, hand on her thigh, arm around her, stroke her hair, such things. This I've done since date 2. First date was just hand on lower back as I was leading her and such.
- she still accepted dates withouth hesitation. counter offered if she couldnt make the day I suggested.

I've never come across a woman acting like this and not wanting to kiss (or usually more). Maybe she's just oblivious lol.

she said Okey? thats it?

She's invested alot and showed signs of attraction, I've written down some in my previous post but she was also:

- running her finger around the rim of her glass
- she said her top was too tight and proceeded to run her hands from her waist up to her boobs, like she was showing off her body.

For future reference: Am I putting too much weight on these signs?

Author:	kball [ Sun May 24, 2015 1:20 pm ]
Post subject:	This is a confusing one
Had a third date with this girl. Still no kiss. Kino has been good all the way, she seems comfortable with me holding her, caressing her side, leading her with my hands around her waist and such. but she's rejected my 2 kiss attempts. first time she said it was too soon because she just got out of a relationship. at the third date I really thought she was into me. she'd invited me over and cooked a fancy dinner for me and then we had wine. i went for the kiss and yet again she declined, i just said alright then with a smile and then continued convo. she keeps accepting dates and even suggesting on her own so i just cannot fathom her not wanting to kiss. the second time she even brought me a gift for crying out loud lol. My instinct tells me she's interested but we know its sometimes hard to judge a situation when you're in it. so what should be my next move? my patience is running thin tbh but at the same time i dont want to throw away a lovely girl. i do have a date tonight with another girl so im spinning plates. just that the alluring hard to get girl is the one who gets your attention, as per usual..

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Sun May 24, 2015 11:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
Does she know these are dates? Serious question. If she does...... I mean - what else can you do? Try again. If she rebuffs you again I'd (and this is me, after 3 dates I'd have no patience left and I'd probably just bluntly throw it out there) --- laugh and say "Do I have bad breath? Cause I'm a pretty good kisser" That'll put it out there and she'll at least tell you what the hell is up. Like seriously - you have the patience for this? Just be blunt and ask... Some others here may not agree with this strategy, but hey, it's one girl - who cares? Doesn't sound like you'd be missing out on a lot of action if she takes it the wrong way and fucks off... Who needs that crap, man? Especially if you've got other girls on the go who are open to moving a little more quickly.

Author:	kball [ Mon May 25, 2015 7:36 am ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
Quote: Does she know these are dates? Serious question. If she does...... I mean - what else can you do? Try again. If she rebuffs you again I'd (and this is me, after 3 dates I'd have no patience left and I'd probably just bluntly throw it out there) --- laugh and say "Do I have bad breath? Cause I'm a pretty good kisser" That'll put it out there and she'll at least tell you what the hell is up. Like seriously - you have the patience for this? Just be blunt and ask... Some others here may not agree with this strategy, but hey, it's one girl - who cares? Doesn't sound like you'd be missing out on a lot of action if she takes it the wrong way and fucks off... Who needs that crap, man? Especially if you've got other girls on the go who are open to moving a little more quickly. I don't know if she sees them as dates tbh lol. We did meet on a dating site and exchanged contact info to meet, though it was some time ago and it was just now some month ago I started to actually talk to her. The first time I tried to kiss her she said she wasn't ready for that which for me also implies that she understands that it was a date. Then she invites me over and cooks for me. I thought at best I get laid, at worst I get a nice dinner cus i cant cook for shit. Dont know tho, she might be trying to gain a friend. She did have a cold tho, might be a reason she didnt wanna kiss but then she'd say something I suppose not just pull away when I tried. later in the evening she did end up laying next to me and doing some kino on me. I just cant tell if she's not interested or very shy and weary of getting hurt again.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Tue May 26, 2015 1:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
I didn't kiss my girl until the 5th time I saw her. I didn't care what her reason was but I just kept going for it. She even slept in my bed and spent the night at my place and still didn't kiss me. And I never had this happen. 9 times out of 10 I get this kiss damn near the beginning of the first day. She just didn't want to give her self away so cheaply. And she was strong enough to resist as long as she could. Everything is instant now. Instant food, instant date, instant entertainment. And most women don't have the strength to resist this instantaneous society. When my Dad was my age, one night stands weren't what they are today. Women were a tad bit stronger. Now its the societal norm. If you don't have sex on the third date you're almost an abomination. That was unheard of 30 years ago. So i'm sure she knows its a date. And she's investing in you. She's cooking for you and inviting you into her place. Girls don't do shit like that for friends on a second/third time hanging out if ever. I'd say you're in the clear. All you have to do is continue going for it. And don't wait until the end. Go for the kiss several times in one evening. I had to make 8 kiss attempts on the first date with a chick before she gave in before. Persist man. She likes you.

Author:	R.C [ Tue May 26, 2015 3:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
You're doing fine. You don't cook and buy gifts for a friend. Who knows what her reasons are and who cares? act on your desires.

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Author:	breedlove465 [ Tue May 26, 2015 3:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
Quote: Had a third date with this girl. Still no kiss. Kino has been good all the way, she seems comfortable with me holding her, caressing her side, leading her with my hands around her waist and such. but she's rejected my 2 kiss attempts. first time she said it was too soon because she just got out of a relationship. at the third date I really thought she was into me. she'd invited me over and cooked a fancy dinner for me and then we had wine. i went for the kiss and yet again she declined, i just said alright then with a smile and then continued convo. she keeps accepting dates and even suggesting on her own so i just cannot fathom her not wanting to kiss. the second time she even brought me a gift for crying out loud lol. My instinct tells me she's interested but we know its sometimes hard to judge a situation when you're in it. so what should be my next move? my patience is running thin tbh but at the same time i dont want to throw away a lovely girl. i do have a date tonight with another girl so im spinning plates. just that the alluring hard to get girl is the one who gets your attention, as per usual.. Have you tried kissing her more than once on each date? If a girl is clearly into me and we are out, sometimes she might reject the first kiss. Maybe it's the wrong time of the night, whatever. But after that if she keeps rejecting it's because I was off base and she's not into me as much as I thought.

Author:	ChocolatePUA [ Tue May 26, 2015 8:36 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
Quote: Had a third date with this girl. Still no kiss. Kino has been good all the way, she seems comfortable with me holding her, caressing her side, leading her with my hands around her waist and such. but she's rejected my 2 kiss attempts. first time she said it was too soon because she just got out of a relationship. at the third date I really thought she was into me. she'd invited me over and cooked a fancy dinner for me and then we had wine. i went for the kiss and yet again she declined, i just said alright then with a smile and then continued convo. she keeps accepting dates and even suggesting on her own so i just cannot fathom her not wanting to kiss. the second time she even brought me a gift for crying out loud lol. My instinct tells me she's interested but we know its sometimes hard to judge a situation when you're in it. so what should be my next move? my patience is running thin tbh but at the same time i dont want to throw away a lovely girl. i do have a date tonight with another girl so im spinning plates. just that the alluring hard to get girl is the one who gets your attention, as per usual.. No offense but I'd give it one more date then thats it. If she likes me but is not comfortable kissing me by date 4 then that's her issue and personally I wouldn't waste my time on someone like that. In this specific instance, it seems like she does actually care so if I were you I just might verbalize it IF she continues to give you resistance. Don't frame it too strongly - just say that you're interested, but it seems like she isn't, so you'd like to know how to proceed. Also, keep escalating on the next date. If a KISS is still a no go, I'd say just move on.

Author:	kball [ Thu May 28, 2015 7:36 am ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
Thanks for the answers guys. I just never been in a situation like this before. I'd give her another date and see how it goes. My gut feeling always said she's interested but we men are result orientated so we tend to look at the result rather than the process.

Author:	kball [ Wed Jul 15, 2015 11:47 am ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
She mentioned she wanted to cook for me again so I set up a fourth date with this girl (both had been on travels so it took a while). She cooked for me and we had wine. Again I had lots of Kino with her. Building up to me sitting with my arm around her, playing with her hair and stroking her neck. So I tried to kiss her then but she rejected (again.) and this time she didnt just say she wasnt ready yet but she said that she thinks we should be friends instead. I just said Okey, and she said Okey? thats it? I said yeah. And then changed subject. Still with my arm around her, caressing her collar bone. She was all smiles and started to play with her hair. Case closed but I'm posting to ask you guys if I really read her signals so wrong? I'm usually confident in reading a womans signal. - cooks for me (when I asked her if she cooks often she said, no never) - she lets me kino her, hand on her thigh, arm around her, stroke her hair, such things. This I've done since date 2. First date was just hand on lower back as I was leading her and such. - she still accepted dates withouth hesitation. counter offered if she couldnt make the day I suggested. I've never come across a woman acting like this and not wanting to kiss (or usually more). Maybe she's just oblivious lol.

Author:	ChocolatePUA [ Wed Jul 15, 2015 1:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
Quote: She mentioned she wanted to cook for me again so I set up a fourth date with this girl (both had been on travels so it took a while). She cooked for me and we had wine. Again I had lots of Kino with her. Building up to me sitting with my arm around her, playing with her hair and stroking her neck. So I tried to kiss her then but she rejected (again.) and this time she didnt just say she wasnt ready yet but she said that she thinks we should be friends instead. I just said Okey, and she said Okey? thats it? I said yeah. And then changed subject. Still with my arm around her, caressing her collar bone. She was all smiles and started to play with her hair. Case closed but I'm posting to ask you guys if I really read her signals so wrong? I'm usually confident in reading a womans signal. - cooks for me (when I asked her if she cooks often she said, no never) - she lets me kino her, hand on her thigh, arm around her, stroke her hair, such things. This I've done since date 2. First date was just hand on lower back as I was leading her and such. - she still accepted dates withouth hesitation. counter offered if she couldnt make the day I suggested. I've never come across a woman acting like this and not wanting to kiss (or usually more). Maybe she's just oblivious lol. This is an obvious clue here Quote: she said Okey? thats it? She was testing you. Yes, it's annoying as fuck, but that's what women do. She WANTS you to push so that you can "earn" it. But she's not going to make it easy.

Author:	Blacksky [ Thu Jul 16, 2015 4:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
Women are a strange bunch. She does all that - invests time in you and then doesn't want to kiss you. makes you wonder that if she didn't want to kiss you then why waste everbodies time ? Girls all around the world daily do things like this - its irrational. The best advice in my humble opinion - a piece of advice I could take myself is - go out and find more girls and in a short while see how little this one will mean to you. She will become a faded memory if you meet other girls you are interested in, however if you don't keep moving forward meeting new women then you will keep thinking about this one and ponder over the why , the why nots and what you could of done differently. Find more women and this one will become a faded memory that you will look back on and think - wow she was one strange girl. Some females are very up and down - hot and cold - she sounds like she could be one of them so don;t invest too much time with her or as the saying goes "don't put all your eggs in one basket"

Author:	HugoMoreno [ Thu Jul 16, 2015 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
Obviously she isn't "sexually" attractive to you or else the kiss wouldn't be a problem She obviously likes your "companionship" Advice: become more sexually attractive

Author:	kball [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
Don't worry guys, I'm dating other girls and have been doing all through the time I've been seeing this one aswell. I guess thats why it was so easy for me to just say Okey. I'm at a loss for what to do with this one so at the moment I've taken a step back. She's invested alot and showed signs of attraction, I've written down some in my previous post but she was also: - running her finger around the rim of her glass - she said her top was too tight and proceeded to run her hands from her waist up to her boobs, like she was showing off her body. For future reference: Am I putting too much weight on these signs?

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:37 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
Quote: She's invested alot and showed signs of attraction, I've written down some in my previous post but she was also: - running her finger around the rim of her glass - she said her top was too tight and proceeded to run her hands from her waist up to her boobs, like she was showing off her body. For future reference: Am I putting too much weight on these signs? Yes. You are. You're seeing what you want to see.

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Author:	JackZero [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:14 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: This is a confusing one
I must be seeing this all wrong. OP constantly tries to kiss her every time he's around her. She obviously knows his intention. It is really odd, IMO, that she would invite him over and cook for him knowing all of this. I personally think he's reading the signals correctly but she is having some other issues going on with her. All that being said, the whole let's be friends thing was your moment to turn the situation to your favor. Tell her you don't see her as just friends, say you have enough friends, or even tell her to call you when she's ready and excuse yourself from the situation.