PUA Forum :: tell me what you think

It's perhaps best to approach texting in a similar way as you would when talking over the phone or in person. The first few texts I send a girl, I go for a classic formula. I always make an effort to DHV (I'm in a band so I'm always "about to go to band practice"). I make my texts a little playful (think of a pet name for her if possible) and, if it's a first text, I make a comment about our encounter in the meeting place (she was interesting to talk to, for example).

However, as a general rule, I always call her. It shows confidence and a willingness to fully engage people who you are not familiar with.

Texting, for me, can be useful when I meet her on a Friday for example. I will leave it 2 days and contact her on the Sunday. By doing this, I'm acting within the "attraction/comfort moratorium" - I don't want to leave it too long. Otherwise, she will lose the feelings she had generated at the meeting place where I attracted her and forget about it (this is common factor mentioned before by many PUAs) . This is not an absolute rule however. In my experience, the "attraction/comfort moratorium" is more relevant when it comes to younger girls (around 20 or 21 max). Every girl is different though, but this has generally worked fine for me.

This is straight down the middle stuff, but I always think about this checklist of factors before I make the text:

1) First texts must create a unique impression and are vital for securing
a meet;
2) Always make it look like you're on the move;
3) As I said before, try and come up with a pet name for her. Think of
something about her which you could use (accent, clothing, etc). If you
can't think of something decent or appropriate, leave it out for now.
You can leave it until later. For example, if you call her up and she
fails to pick up, your "back-up" text can open a few doors. If she
doesn't pick up, I have a habit of text-negging her by calling her
a "mouse" because she's "so difficult to get hold of" (I picked this up
from somewhere, Lance Mason's stuff perhaps). If she replies and it is
positive, then I continue to call her this in continuing text messages (I
don't overkill it though). It speeds up the process of familiarity and
makes her comfortable
4) Lightly neg (similar to number three).
5) Mention something which will make you appear easy-going and not too
serious. Perhaps write that you got negged about something you wore
the other night and follow it up with a laugh (eg haha!). This makes
things playful and softens the mood.
6) Make statements and don't ask questions in the first couple of texts. I
find that asking questions early on gives her control (she can freeze
you out and convince herself that you are waiting by the phone for
answer)
6) Make the first text to her relatively short and include the basics (ie light
neg, statement, place to go, sign-off)

Standard stuff really, although fitting it all in one text message could be challenging.

Author:	Reno99 [ Sun Mar 09, 2008 9:52 pm ]
Post subject:	tell me what you think - text message
I met a girl, i attracted her pretty good, kissed and had good kino, but build too little comfort with her friend, kinda alienated for a second. I was out for a few minuttes, and when i came back some guys said they had left, and that she had to leave. I actually then met them again downtown, talked for a minute, and she said call me, but i'm unsure about the sincerity because of the relatively short comfortlevel. Her friend may also try to convince her that i'm bad news. (i'm probably a really safe choice btw) Here is the message i thought of sending her; "Let's make this interessting, if you wanna meet, text back" any comments or ideas for sms texting?

Author:	Chino Kapone [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 3:56 pm ]
Post subject:
By texting that you are giving her control. Something like "ill be at the pool hall @ 730, bring your friend." would be better. Expect that she is going to show up because that is alot more alpha then what you thought about texting. It shows that you are inviting her but you are not asking her to come, you are telling her to.

Author:	<Avesta> [ Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:34 pm ]
Post subject:
It's perhaps best to approach texting in a similar way as you would when talking over the phone or in person. The first few texts I send a girl, I go for a classic formula. I always make an effort to DHV (I'm in a band so I'm always "about to go to band practice"). I make my texts a little playful (think of a pet name for her if possible) and, if it's a first text, I make a comment about our encounter in the meeting place (she was interesting to talk to, for example). However, as a general rule, I always call her. It shows confidence and a willingness to fully engage people who you are not familiar with. Texting, for me, can be useful when I meet her on a Friday for example. I will leave it 2 days and contact her on the Sunday. By doing this, I'm acting within the "attraction/comfort moratorium" - I don't want to leave it too long. Otherwise, she will lose the feelings she had generated at the meeting place where I attracted her and forget about it (this is common factor mentioned before by many PUAs) . This is not an absolute rule however. In my experience, the "attraction/comfort moratorium" is more relevant when it comes to younger girls (around 20 or 21 max). Every girl is different though, but this has generally worked fine for me. This is straight down the middle stuff, but I always think about this checklist of factors before I make the text: 1) First texts must create a unique impression and are vital for securing a meet; 2) Always make it look like you're on the move; 3) As I said before, try and come up with a pet name for her. Think of something about her which you could use (accent, clothing, etc). If you can't think of something decent or appropriate, leave it out for now. You can leave it until later. For example, if you call her up and she fails to pick up, your "back-up" text can open a few doors. If she doesn't pick up, I have a habit of text-negging her by calling her a "mouse" because she's "so difficult to get hold of" (I picked this up from somewhere, Lance Mason's stuff perhaps). If she replies and it is positive, then I continue to call her this in continuing text messages (I don't overkill it though). It speeds up the process of familiarity and makes her comfortable 4) Lightly neg (similar to number three). 5) Mention something which will make you appear easy-going and not too serious. Perhaps write that you got negged about something you wore the other night and follow it up with a laugh (eg haha!). This makes things playful and softens the mood. 6) Make statements and don't ask questions in the first couple of texts. I find that asking questions early on gives her control (she can freeze you out and convince herself that you are waiting by the phone for answer) 6) Make the first text to her relatively short and include the basics (ie light neg, statement, place to go, sign-off) Standard stuff really, although fitting it all in one text message could be challenging.

Author:	tret [ Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:25 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: It's perhaps best to approach texting in a similar way as you would when talking over the phone or in person. The first few texts I send a girl, I go for a classic formula. I always make an effort to DHV (I'm in a band so I'm always "about to go to band practice"). I make my texts a little playful (think of a pet name for her if possible) and, if it's a first text, I make a comment about our encounter in the meeting place (she was interesting to talk to, for example). However, as a general rule, I always call her. It shows confidence and a willingness to fully engage people who you are not familiar with. Texting, for me, can be useful when I meet her on a Friday for example. I will leave it 2 days and contact her on the Sunday. By doing this, I'm acting within the "attraction/comfort moratorium" - I don't want to leave it too long. Otherwise, she will lose the feelings she had generated at the meeting place where I attracted her and forget about it (this is common factor mentioned before by many PUAs) . This is not an absolute rule however. In my experience, the "attraction/comfort moratorium" is more relevant when it comes to younger girls (around 20 or 21 max). Every girl is different though, but this has generally worked fine for me. This is straight down the middle stuff, but I always think about this checklist of factors before I make the text: 1) First texts must create a unique impression and are vital for securing a meet; 2) Always make it look like you're on the move; 3) As I said before, try and come up with a pet name for her. Think of something about her which you could use (accent, clothing, etc). If you can't think of something decent or appropriate, leave it out for now. You can leave it until later. For example, if you call her up and she fails to pick up, your "back-up" text can open a few doors. If she doesn't pick up, I have a habit of text-negging her by calling her a "mouse" because she's "so difficult to get hold of" (I picked this up from somewhere, Lance Mason's stuff perhaps). If she replies and it is positive, then I continue to call her this in continuing text messages (I don't overkill it though). It speeds up the process of familiarity and makes her comfortable 4) Lightly neg (similar to number three). 5) Mention something which will make you appear easy-going and not too serious. Perhaps write that you got negged about something you wore the other night and follow it up with a laugh (eg haha!). This makes things playful and softens the mood. 6) Make statements and don't ask questions in the first couple of texts. I find that asking questions early on gives her control (she can freeze you out and convince herself that you are waiting by the phone for answer) 6) Make the first text to her relatively short and include the basics (ie light neg, statement, place to go, sign-off) Standard stuff really, although fitting it all in one text message could be challenging. Hey ty for this post but my question for you is which do you tend to do first? Text or Call, and how do you do the transition into the call without it being almost ackward to be verbally talking w/someone for the "first time" in a "long time" .

Author:	<Avesta> [ Mon Mar 17, 2008 6:34 pm ]
Post subject:
By and large, I call first. Texting is useful if she happens to text you first. You know you're on to something if she texts you first. You can go with the flow, reply with a good text and call her up the next day. That's a more organic process I suppose. Texting is very convenient, perhaps too convenient, and many guys will use it as a shield to avoid full engagement (probably because they think they will fuck it up over the phone or that they won't have anything substantial to say). I've been guilty of this in the past, but I don't do it anymore. Calling conveys a subtext of confidence and is pretty valuable. If you made the right connection when you met her, calling her a couple of days later is inconsequential. She will answer and want to pick up where you left off. I've never done the Mystery thing and called a girl up on the first night I her, but I think this is a good move which I will do from now on. You can get her accustomed to talkng to you over the phone from the get-go and the second call will just be business as usual. If I'm calling her first time a couple of days later, I begin the introduce the conversation and make a comment about something rlating to my day. I've written another post about this (on another thread I think) where I just say something like "I'm so tired, I've just been to the gym but was shocked to see this outrageous looking guy with long blonde hair wearing skin tight pink hot pants!" Something of that nature softens the mood and settles me in to the conversation. From there on in, it won't seem like such a "long time" you last spoke in person.

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