PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Oops..I accidentally left the ball in her court..
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=53&t=156333		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Dubmaniac [ Thu Feb 07, 2013 10:19 am ]
Post subject:  Oops..I accidentally left the ball in her court..
Hi,

I would appreciate some thoughts on this one.

Last sunday afternoon I had this date with a nice young woman, met online, and went for a drink.
Talked for two hours and had a good time, definately some sparks.

After leaving the bar she walked me up to the carparking, and she mentioned how nice it was, and that we should meet again.
I agreed and suggested that we should discuss the second meeting details over phone or text.
The next days we texted back and forth a bit.

Last tuesday I asked "You are going to the gym each thursday do you?..Are you busy one friday?"

Her Reply :

"Yes! every thursday, I'm maybe busy on friday, friend who's been to australia for 3,5 weeks returned yesterday and we are going for a drink and a chat on friday or saturday, not shure when..Maybe i know more tomorrow "

My reply : Relax.. :-)

Her reply : Offcourse ;-)

How do i regain control casually?? We are still texting small talk..
Author:  User13247 [ Thu Feb 07, 2013 12:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oops..I accidentally left the ball in her court..
Control of what exactly? You cannot control when she and the friend are having a drink.

Instead of replying 'Relax' (a reply that doesn't really make sense to me, but perhaps it's some inside joke), you could have said something like 'Okay, let me know tomorrow, I plan to [blablabla] this weekend and I wouldn't want to have to cancel a date with you for it ;)'. This would have come naturally if you had plans for the weekend, so make having an interesting life, including busy weekends, a priority.
Author:  Dubmaniac [ Thu Feb 07, 2013 12:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oops..I accidentally left the ball in her court..
I'm sorry, i have the feeling i lost the "initiative position" when we are going to meet again..not her meeting this friend.
Author:  User13247 [ Thu Feb 07, 2013 2:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oops..I accidentally left the ball in her court..
You already signaled that you want to see her again, you already took the initiative. You did that reasonably well, and it seems like she's going to say yes. Either way, the ball is in her court (as you correctly put it), and you'll just have to wait until she returns it. This is not accidental, this is always the case: rejection is a possible outcome of taking the initiative. So you'd better get used to that. She said that she'd tell you tomorrow, so remind her tomorrow evening if she hasn't answered you. The only other thing that you have to do is avoid seeming desperate, which will just increase the chances of rejection and make it more painful. So instead of focusing on how to retrieve the ball (you are the player, not the ball boy), just make your own plans. Perhaps you can go play tennis with a friend.
Author:  Dubmaniac [ Thu Feb 07, 2013 2:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oops..I accidentally left the ball in her court..
Well her "Maybe tomorrow" was yesterday, hate the maybe's... today we did some texting and i mentioned how ik look forward to the weekend, and looking forward to go indoor-skiing friday (So I did let her know I am occupied), however i did not mention the fact she didn't got back to me about her friend meeting.

Maybe I overlooked the fact I just asked her if she is busy on friday, didn't mention that i want to see her, allthough i assume this is clear.

The problem I have is to bring it to her attention again without sounding needy..

Another thing is that I want to cut back on texting, less small talk, more action, she however keeps texting small things for example she was riding horseback yesterday and noticed me while riding :

"I guess my afternoon is better then yours sitting behind your desk ;-)..."

I dont know feels like some kind of "Keep Alive messages"..
Quote:
You already signaled that you want to see her again, you already took the initiative. You did that reasonably well, and it seems like she's going to say yes. Either way, the ball is in her court (as you correctly put it), and you'll just have to wait until she returns it. This is not accidental, this is always the case: rejection is a possible outcome of taking the initiative. So you'd better get used to that. She said that she'd tell you tomorrow, so remind her tomorrow evening if she hasn't answered you. The only other thing that you have to do is avoid seeming desperate, which will just increase the chances of rejection and make it more painful. So instead of focusing on how to retrieve the ball (you are the player, not the ball boy), just make your own plans. Perhaps you can go play tennis with a friend.
Author:  Dubmaniac [ Thu Feb 07, 2013 3:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oops..I accidentally left the ball in her court..
This is funny, as soon as I mentioned my plans for tommorrow (skiing)

She just replied : Oh so you don't have to work tomorrow? (Don't know why she assumed I would go during the day, I had plans for tomorrow evening)

Few minutes later : "BTW me and my friend are going out on saturday, so we could meet up tomorrow.."

Not sure what to do, I had set this appointment up for myself, just go out indoor skiing, empty my head.
I guess it it best to stick to this, or answer that i had these plans for the evening, and if she wants to meet me, she should come to the skiing place?

I am tempting to reply :

"Well I was planning to go in the evening, so we have two options, reschedule, or you teach me some proper techniques tomorrow evening ;-)..."
Author:  User13247 [ Thu Feb 07, 2013 5:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oops..I accidentally left the ball in her court..
Quote:
"Well I was planning to go in the evening, so we have two options, reschedule, or you teach me some proper techniques tomorrow evening ;-)..."
I think this would be a little crude, you didn't even kiss yet, right? Inviting her to join you for indoor skiing sounds like a much better idea. It's a fun thing to do, you can have some drinks afterwards, and you can spice up the conversation much easier in real life. Do not be afraid to have plenty of physical contact during the date, and kiss her if the opportunity presents itself.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/