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Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
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Author:  Eerie [ Sat Feb 02, 2013 8:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
As the title states my oneitis wants to be FWB. A while back I told her I had feelings for her and went completely AFC. It fell apart quickly after she said she didn't feel for me the same way. So I learned and got over it. I'm back on my game. I'm treating her like I would any other girl. We go out to bars together and she sees me flirting around. I made out with her friend in front of her.

Last night we went out to the bar with a group of friends. I was being myself. I used some kino stuff on her but I really wasn't gaming her. I just did things like placing my hand on her lower back to usher her around as well as some other touching stuff. I was socializing a lot. I know loads of people at this bar. I guess I inadvertently DHV'd. I approached a few girls. My game was off with them btw, but that is another topic. So we get home. She drives my car back (two seat convertible stick shift). She asked to drive it because she's into cars like that. I don't remember much of the conversation. I went to sleep on the couch in her bro's room and we were texting as she was in her room. I was gaming her hard over text with loads of flirting. It was good back and forth. Then she drops the bomb and asks me, "would it be wierd if we were friends with benefits?" We talked more today about it and she is for real.

What do you guys think about this? I still like her and I always will. I enjoy her company. She is a girl I could certainly see myself locking up in a relationship, which doesn't happen often to me as I have commitment issues. However, I think I can deal with being FWB. Do you think I should go through with this with a strong guard up? Can I summon feelings from her to turn it into something serious? Whats my angle here?
Author:  MavenPhaseshift [ Sat Feb 02, 2013 8:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
Simple you sleep with her and you treat her like a girl friend. You don't leave after. you stick around and spoon her. You go out and go home with her. You start acting like she is a girl friend but you don't give her a title. If she accepts this frame she is accepting the idea that she is a girl friend. You gradually spend more time with her. Get her to invest more time, and after a point you are just in a relationship if you choose.
Author:  ApplesNoranges [ Sat Feb 02, 2013 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
Dude you already admitted to yourself that she is your oneitis. You don't want to have sex with her. You will create a much larger emotional bond than you already have and your oneitis will fly through the roof, leading to her not wanting to be FWB anymore and you losing all control over the relationship.

As F'd as it sounds, you want to stay away from all girls that you developped oneitis for at one point, because the chances of it coming back are huge.
Author:  Eerie [ Sun Feb 03, 2013 8:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
I forgot to mention this interesting fact. She is a virgin apparently. I've known her all my life. She isn't a liar. She is conservative and has only had one boyfriend, which happens to be my cousin. She knew him all her life as well seeing as her family is close with ours. Tey had a bad breakup four or five years ago and still don't talk.
Author:  MavenPhaseshift [ Mon Feb 04, 2013 11:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
Sounds like a limiting belief there multiple ways. Either you want to be with her or not... That is up to you man. Either way is the right answer. We can help you get her or another girl. Only you have to want to do it, and not make excuses. We have all been there. We just want whats best for everyone. That is for them to be happy.
IF she makes you happy go be with her. if she doesn't don't. But don't put up limiting beliefs so you don't do anything.
Author:  Eerie [ Mon Feb 04, 2013 11:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
I want her. She makes me happy for sure. She shares a lot of common interests and she is the most unique girl I've ever met. I've always wanted to be with her.

She was very animated texting me the past few days which is something new. I just don't know how to play text game. I don't know how to schedule a hangout and avoid a flake. Idk how to come off as not being needy while trying to arrange a hangout.

I wish I had a way to post text threads here. I need some coaching on that.

I saw her yesterday at the Super Bowl party. Should I ask her to hang out tonight?
Author:  MavenPhaseshift [ Wed Feb 06, 2013 8:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
The only way to make people want to hang out with you is because it is what they want to do. have you found out something in your life that you do that she will want to do too? Are you interesting enough and have fun with her she will want to go just to hang out with you?
If not these are things that you might want to find out.
No matter how good your game is... if you don't get her wanting to do it she won't go. That's why there are so few girls at magic the gathering events. they don't want to go.

hope this helps.
Author:  Eerie [ Wed Feb 06, 2013 9:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
How do I find those things out? Girls are not really open to new things the way guys are.
Author:  Eerie [ Wed Feb 06, 2013 10:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
I just don't know how to go about getting her to hang out. This friends with benefits seems like a whole different arrangement. How do I approach her about hanging ou? It's not like getting her on a date be size we aren't supposed to be dating.
Author:  GGplayer [ Thu Feb 07, 2013 2:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
Friends w/ benefits = I want to have sex but not commit to a relationship.

Idk what the problem is. Just ask her: "so, when does this friend's with benefits thing kick in."

Just basically just wants to be your fuck buddy, just invite her over and bang her. While you're not together, work on your game and meet other women. Just be mentally prepared for her to do the same.
Author:  Eerie [ Thu Feb 07, 2013 5:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
Quote:
Friends w/ benefits = I want to have sex but not commit to a relationship.

Idk what the problem is. Just ask her: "so, when does this friend's with benefits thing kick in."

Just basically just wants to be your fuck buddy, just invite her over and bang her. While you're not together, work on your game and meet other women. Just be mentally prepared for her to do the same.
I guess I'm going to go with this next time we hangout. I'm going to lay off texting. I'm going to limit myself to phone calls and face to face.
Author:  Eerie [ Fri Feb 08, 2013 5:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
So I was with her and some friends at the bar and late when the bar was closing I approached her with "when do we cash in on those benefits." I was pretty drunk so I don't remember perfectly. She said something like our setup is more like "if it happens it happens," rather than being a organized sort of deal.

What I believe is that she's ok with hooking up with me if it ever gets to the point again the way it did not long ago. But this won't be a sober booty call situation.

I'm just cutting my losses and focusing on the sad state of affairs that is my game. I have to get out and do some quality sarging. It sucks that I have no wing.
Author:  iantennant [ Sun Feb 10, 2013 3:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
hey dude, i see where your coming from here.
she wants to have sex but your thinking about it where it is going to happen but when. Basically i think you should still game other girls. don't put all your eggs in one basket with this girl. Sure you like her and she has said friends with benefits and is totally awesome!.
So that is what you do. you just be as you are and be friends. There will come a point in the future when you guys are out and having a good time like you normally do. it doesn't mean that you have to take her out one to one for anything to happen cos it will happen either way, if you get what i mean?
i would say to go out sarging and have some fun while this thing of yours blows over. the best thing that can come out of that is a shag from a girl you like.
i wish i could have that with the girl that i like at the moment. i sorted a meet with her last night and had a monster of a night. happened to bounce into my house mates too which was awesome. kino through the night with her but i always had the impression that nothing was working. it was weird, normally when i do all these things i normally get some sort of attraction but this one i couldn't. i stupidly told her i liked her at the end of the night and pretty much got friendzoned but i'm just gonna leave it now and see how it goes as friends. it's not a bad thing but i do have a huge crush on her. i just gotta see what positives can come out of this and that is basically meeting her friends too :).
hope your good man, let me know how it goes for you.
Author:  Eerie [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 5:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
Here's a status update. We have been talking a bit more regularly. We have some fun and comfortable friendly conversation. We had some flirtatious and sexual talk yesterday regarding what each of us percieve as sexy. I get the vibe that we are becoming closer friends. I don't want to get super friend zoned here. We never really had this daily communication before. I want to get her to hang out just the two of us, but I don't want it to have a date stigma to it. I'm trying to figure a way to get her to go out with me "as a friend" so that I can have her isolated for me to get her comfortable with me. I want another opportunity to k-close her and f-close. I had her ready to f-close one night. She was naked and ready. But she told me she was a virgin and I went AFC thinking about how I wanted to take it slow with her.
Author:  Eerie [ Fri Feb 15, 2013 6:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits
Here's another status update if anyone wants to know.

I've talked to her every day for the past week or so. I feel good about the rapport we've got. I've made her laugh over text. The text ratio looks good. There are points where she will send 3-4 consecutive texts before mine. It has happened a couple times. She has been liking a lot of my posts on facebook. I post funny and witty comments (some from the Facebook DHV status thread) and she has been liking all of them. She even posted a few comments saying how she laughed and how funny I am. I texted her yesterday about her plans for the night and she said she was just about to text me when she read that to invite me to hang out. We hung out last night with a group of friends at home and I was being funny. I made the whole group laugh a few times and I think I got an IOI from her. She was smiling at me. I feel like I saw something more behind the smile rather than just laughter at my humor. I hope that my mind isn't just coming up with this. The way we said good bye was encourageable as well. She made a point to come to me and give me a hug with a slight lingering touch around the back.

I'm still playing it soft. We are friends and I just hope to escalate sexually with her when I get the opportunity. I don't believe I can ask her out. I have to keep the whole friends motif.
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