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Where are my mistakes on this text game?
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Author:  Boyo [ Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Where are my mistakes on this text game?
Hey guys,

Im lost on this one, im not that bothered i didnt 2nd day close, but i am wondering where i went wrong for the future, this is quiet a long one, which was maybe my first mistake; the text went as such:

Me: Hey XXX, its XXX, i just saw something that reminded me of you and should give this number a try. i hope its not another evening of work?

2 hrs l8r she replies: heyy :) nothing bad i hope!? unfortunatly so, but all finished now, hows your day been?

2 hrs l8r i reply: it made me laugh when it came to me, my mate threatened to chin me! (when me and XXX first me we bantered and she says shed chin me =P bantering way ofc..)

she instantly replies: care to explain that one? apart from work, quite nice, just went up to (some place) to see my great aunt

I reply: lol just banter with workmates, i was teasing a short chubby ginger guy (great guy really) because he cocked up at work, he thus replies "shut it or ill chin ya!" - i laughed and i thought of you after. ill leave you with that story to imagine in weird and wonderful ways and talk tomorrow perhaps =P

she replies straight after: uum, i dont think were on the same page here, seeing as i took from that you were remidned of me by a short chubby ginger bloke? Harshh.

i reply: well like the say, treat em mean, keep em keen! night!

the next day, in the afternoon i give her a call to ask to meet up, no answer

she then texts says still at work SPAM.

i text after: lol, it seems my pocket wanted to get hold of you! -( making out it was pocket call)

gimme a call later so i can apologies for interrupting you at work!

No reply.

the next day i text : hey up XXX, i just watned to call yesterday to see if you wanted to meet up, got myself a 3 day weekend!

No reply

so im stumped lol. any chance of recovery or move on? - also positive and negative feedback would be great

Cheers all!

Boyo
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Jun 09, 2012 1:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
seems like she got all butthurt over a text, humour doesn't translate well sometimes to girls over text

so anyways, when a chick gets all butthurt, you just have to give her space to cool off and know you didn't do anything wrong, don't get all needy and keep calling her over and over when she is butthurt, it is a bad move and just makes you look gay to her, instead watch how she acts and treat her according if she gives you shit just make fun of her and don't explain yourself to any irrational little emotional explosions (if she gets upset over something small, just stay strong with it is no big deal and she is being weird, do not fold at all)

for now this is something that is sort of in the trash, you fucked up by texting her out of neediness, just give her a few days then contact her like nothing happened
Author:  Boyo [ Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
hmm i didnt see that, your right bud. i thought it was more of a shit test, maybe she was just sensitive. i dont think i was too needy, i gave her 1 more text than she sent me, however, maybe i should of let her call me.

what things can i do for the future to make sure its a definate catch next time, what could of i said/done

Cheers,

Boyo
Author:  In$tinct [ Sat Jun 09, 2012 7:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
i dont think i was too needy
Quote:
i text after: lol, it seems my pocket wanted to get hold of you!
This is absolutely unnecessary. And desperate. Yeah desperate. You may not see, but what this text communicates is something like this : "Oh I'm so sorry that I called you at work, I would have never ever done that to you. It was just my pocket."
Quote:
gimme a call later so i can apologies for interrupting you at work!
^^^^This is needy. You're literally begging her to even apologise. It's like saying "sorry I'm alive. I'll be trying harder to look dead from now on"
Quote:
the next day i text : hey up XXX, i just watned to call yesterday to see if you wanted to meet up, got myself a 3 day weekend!
^^^^This is also needy. Why do you explain yourself again? Why do you always feel the need to explain yourself whenever you do something that your target doesn't like? Sorry bro, but this is like the definition of needy.
Quote:
i thought it was more of a shit test
If you thought it was a shit test, why have you become so reactive about it?

These are the major things I've just noticed. These are mistakes that are easy to avoid with a little concentration, especially in text, so hopefully you can learn from them. Good luck! :)
Author:  Boyo [ Sat Jun 09, 2012 7:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lol! fair play in$tinct, thankyou for showing the error of my ways! - well presented
shows how clueless i am!

Can you link me some recommended threads to start learning the correct methods,

also it would be great if you could show me some example what you would of put.

lastly: anything i can do to recover or bin it?

Cheers,

Boyo
Author:  In$tinct [ Sun Jun 10, 2012 8:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Okay First let's see thet conversation from beginning to end.
Quote:
Me: Hey XXX, its XXX, i just saw something that reminded me of you and should give this number a try. i hope its not another evening of work?

Good opener. I usually don't include questions in my text openers but this is just minor stuff

2 hrs l8r she replies: heyy Smile nothing bad i hope!? unfortunatly so, but all finished now, hows your day been?

2 hrs l8r i reply: it made me laugh when it came to me, my mate threatened to chin me! (when me and XXX first me we bantered and she says shed chin me =P bantering way ofc..)

I see you're trying to build some connection here. I don't really know the meaning of "chin" but it's irrelevant. This conversation seems fair enough yet.

she instantly replies: care to explain that one? apart from work, quite nice, just went up to (some place) to see my great aunt

I reply: lol just banter with workmates, i was teasing a short chubby ginger guy (great guy really) because he cocked up at work, he thus replies "shut it or ill chin ya!" - i laughed and i thought of you after. ill leave you with that story to imagine in weird and wonderful ways and talk tomorrow perhaps =P

Yeah... perhaps really not the best idea was the short chubby ginger guy. You could have instead used a hot ass ginger girl ;) Anyway... there's no way you could have foreseen what happened next, so yet still no major mistake was made

she replies straight after: uum, i dont think were on the same page here, seeing as i took from that you were remidned of me by a short chubby ginger bloke? Harshh.

i reply: well like the say, treat em mean, keep em keen! night!

This is the first blow. And it's all downhill from now. If you tell her you will contact tomorrow, you should do so.

the next day, in the afternoon i give her a call to ask to meet up, no answer

she then texts says still at work SPAM.

i text after: lol, it seems my pocket wanted to get hold of you! -( making out it was pocket call)

gimme a call later so i can apologies for interrupting you at work!

The second mistake. This is a completely unnecessary text. I wouldn't have even replied, just waited . The end seals it all. You're literally begging for her to let you apologise. It's like saying saying sorry for being alive.

No reply.

the next day i text : hey up XXX, i just watned to call yesterday to see if you wanted to meet up, got myself a 3 day weekend!

Third mistake. You tell her to give you a call, and then you text her again. Why? If even you don't follow your own rules, you can't expect her to follow them.
All in all, it's not as horrible as it could seem from my criticism. You were trying a bit too hard, that's all. Let me give you some future tips to help you make your life easier next time.

-Involve sexuality in your texts. It's a lot easier to keep the text interesting if it involves sexuality. Even the easiest things like simple innuendos would do the job.

-Keep it short and fun. Less is really more in texting.

-You don't have to reply. This is a common mistake. Guys think that when a girl replies to their texts, now it's necessarily their turn. Truth is, if the conversation is closed, or if you don't have anything to say that would move things forward, then it's just best not to reply at all. The fluff talk is not to be done via text.

As for the links, I don't really know much. But the best thread I've found on this forum is Stormy's guide on Inner Game, Frame Control, and well mostly everything you'd need.

frame-control-defining-reality-and-bein ... 34530.html
Author:  Boyo [ Sun Jun 10, 2012 12:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
With reference to involving sexual thing in text, is that actually plausible in this circumstance? i met this girl and talked to her for.. 3 or 4 min at the most, closed the number and wandered off, if i started putting sexual innuendos 3rd or 4th text in, would that seem creepish?

- on the other hand, i guess the type of girl im aim for will respond to this, if she doesnt then she wont put out easily - true?

Regards,

Boyo
Author:  In$tinct [ Sun Jun 10, 2012 1:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Escalation... First "innocent" innuendos. Just something that came off as sexual "by accident". After that you can continue on better things, while in the meantime you should also work your way towards a meeting asap.

And I forgot to add my comments to your question about "recovering" from this.

As I see, this would be pretty hard to get it back on the track. Really the best thing you can do is to find other women. It's always a good idea anyway to game multiple women at one time, until you aren't official with one of course. You become less reactive, less dependent, because you know that if you mess this one up, there're 3 other waiting your text. You can continue trying this too, but make sure you have other women around, because I see little chance for this one.
Author:  Boyo [ Sun Jun 10, 2012 5:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cheers In$tinct,

ill enquire on what type of innocent innuendos on the text game i can try implement.
(i really am clueless with chatting up honestly..)

agreed, so try fit some sexual tension with gradual build up. keep the texts short to the point, and each one working towards a date. any rough time frame? 1 day/ 2 i would imagine at the most

Agreed mate, thats what im doing, going out tomorrow to do the Newbie test.

Then this saturday im meeting a fellow AFC for some team practice haha!

Regards

Boyo
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