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Girl asks for friends with benefits, but I don't know??
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=53&t=134399		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Nomos [ Thu Apr 26, 2012 7:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Girl asks for friends with benefits, but I don't know??
In the past week, I had sex with 3 girls, of which 2 now propose to be friends with benefits. I liked the girls and I already 'knew' them in advance (I met them both once before). I don't like it when girls move on me, like they're doing now by pushing me to be fwb so I'm not sure if I want to 'commit' to being fwb. I have no idea how to diplomatically solve this problem without hurting them, since I don't want to be "that guy who fucked some girls and broke their hearts". Both of them go to the same school as I am so I might run into them... Any help?
Author:  hawksterG [ Thu Apr 26, 2012 7:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Help? Heres some advice: Buy lots of condoms.
Author:  Nomos [ Thu Apr 26, 2012 7:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well yea, but.. I don't know why, but I don't like having sex with the same girl twice if I'm not in a relationship with them..? When I do that, I feel like they're using me, which is actually the case if they suggest fwb, no? I suck at breaking up, even with girls I barely know.
Author:  hawksterG [ Thu Apr 26, 2012 7:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lets look at whats given here:

1. You're on an PUA website. Forum for picking up girls.

2. Girls want to sleep with you.

3. They're not asking to be in a relationship...just FWB.

If i'm not mistaken, isn't this somewhat the point? If you are looking for that one love or LTR, then totally understandable.

Heres what you could say:

"Sorry, I'm not that guy you want me to be. I like sex as much as any guy, but I'm looking for something more serious. Yeah I know right, I'm the exception haha."
Author:  Nomos [ Thu Apr 26, 2012 7:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Lets look at whats given here:

1. You're on an PUA website. Forum for picking up girls.

2. Girls want to sleep with you.

3. They're not asking to be in a relationship...just FWB.

If i'm not mistaken, isn't this somewhat the point? If you are looking for that one love or LTR, then totally understandable.

Heres what you could say:

"Sorry, I'm not that guy you want me to be. I like sex as much as any guy, but I'm looking for something more serious. Yeah I know right, I'm the exception haha."
But if I'm going like "I'm looking for something more serious" and they have the same idea, I'm probably in deep shit :D

I just wrote a very long text about how I didn't wanna mess with their emotions, but after reading it and feeling like a wuss I deleted it. I think you're right. They suggested it so I should just do it. They put their emotions out there themselves, so there's no blame on me, right? :D
Author:  hawksterG [ Thu Apr 26, 2012 8:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Right. Just don't be the one spreading that you're banging these girls. Why ruin a good thing? And who knows, maybe you're come to liking one of them seriously.
Author:  Nomos [ Thu Apr 26, 2012 8:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Just don't be the one spreading that you're banging these girls.
Yea, already learned that from experience.... But thanks for the tips! :wink:
Author:  Nomos [ Mon Apr 30, 2012 4:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Did one of them today and since I don't regret it I'm gonna meet with the other one tomorrow. Nice :)
Author:  Slip n Slide [ Mon Apr 30, 2012 6:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey man.

The biggest question here is: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I had a lot of trouble determining that from your posts.

If you want sex, well, seems like you've already started getting that, and you know how to continue.

If you want a relationship, it's as easy as the option hawkster gave, where you let them know you want something serious.

If you don't want these girls at all (THIS IS AN OPTION GUYS) then SAY SO! If these girls are ugly, or annoying, or for whatever reason you don't want them, by being congruent to your actual feelings, your decision will pay off!

For example, I was working within this one social group (I've had some failures that ruined my rep with entire groups of people. So I work within a few circles at any time) and hooked up with an unattractive girl when far too drunk at a party.

I've made that mistake before, and I know that it KILLS your social standing. I expected to drop the whole group for a few months, because no hot girl wants sloppy seconds from an ugly one.

The girl kept texting me, trying to meet up. I thought a lot about just doing it, and keeping her as a booty call for nights where I couldn't pull. But I didn't, I decided to be genuine and tell her that it was a mistake, and I didn't want anything to do with that.

I didn't even tell anyone that I'd said that, but by the next weekend, hot girls from that group were inviting me to their parties, and a couple weeks later I started sleeping with an HB9.

So the moral is to make decisions you're proud of, and that you'll be happy with a month later. It can sometimes pay off to say no.
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