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| Getting past this barrier/resistance https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=53&t=131884 |
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| Author: | Smoke20 [ Mon Mar 26, 2012 12:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Getting past this barrier/resistance |
This girl has been flirting with me quite a lot, joking/implying that we can make out, we can be boyfriend and girlfriend, we can have sex. Shaking her butt at me. Spreading her... ahem. Let's just say all kinds of things to catch my attention. It stuns me each time I hear her say these things to me. Like my brain dies on me and I'm left there to passively respond to external stimuli, dazed and confused, confronted by a reality I cannot comprehend. And then I escalate, which goes well as long as she escalates back. When she doesn't, I sort of go into needy mode and well that's never fun. I don't know how to ... like... respond in these situations? She says, in some imaginary context, we can have sex. What do you say to that that is neither creepy nor too disinterested? Also, last time I practically chased her around like a clingy little shit until it got to the point where she stopped, looked at me, and in a sort of mock friendly tone said "Are you following me?". Then she started hitting on some other guy. I ignored it at first. Then it started to piss me off so I hinted that she and him might want to end that. Then I threatened to beat him up. Then I threatened to kill him and it was at this point I finally saw the primal terror in his eyes and he backed down. He tried to continue at it, she was slightly less receptive. I gave her a rather intense glare and she got the message and brushed him off. Then sort of hovered in the background glancing over at me, and then leaving after I ignored her (I was well pissed). One week later, was just about to show up at hers, I accidentally texted something very, very stupid. It's one of those things where, when said in person, is a delicate, caring and sensitive thing to say, but, when said in text, ends up insulting your dead mother. So yeah. Never text about sensitive issues... you can seriously hurt people without even realizing it. Also, we used to date when we were younger. And we're kind of closer than just, uhm. Strangers. If you know what I mean. |
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| Author: | doclift [ Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
You're going to have to be more specific if you want a valid answer from one of us. What do you mean when she escalates back? How far are you going with her before you hit what I'm guessing is LMR, if you can even consider it that? You shouldn't be stopping escalation unless she actively puts up resistance. If this is the case, utilize LMR tactics, roll off, and then push on. Needy mode? A pickup artist is never needy, ever. You have plenty of women in your life. Even if you don't, as a high value man, you don't need anything from anybody. Don't rely on someone else to provide you with value. Your anger is completely unacceptable, period. There are no and's if's or but's about it. She shit-tested you and you failed miserably. You have just demonstrated to her that your emotional circuitry and calibration is way out of line. That "F" in AFC stands for frustrated and that's exactly what you were. You need to take a step back from the game and get yourself in order. Get your emotions in check. |
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| Author: | Smoke20 [ Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
My escalation so far is usually just flirting and light kino (shoulders, arm, knee - brief). She responds either with innuendo or things like leaning in, brushing my hair, accidentally brushing against me. Mostly saying dirty things. Last time went something like this: Her: Oh look... those two are together. (She points outside the window at a couple). And so are they... (I look at her in the eyes) Me: We're together. Just not in that way, obviously. (Look away) She starts giggling uncontrollably. This goes on for a while. Throughout this I'm telling her to do things, like "move your cute butt out of the way", or "wow what a nice dance move, why don't you dance for me you sexy thing". Then we're at the computer, I notice she has The Sims. We get to screwing around with some characters. We make a couple. She suggests I role play the boyfriend, and she the girlfriend. All the while she's saying "We can kiss... we can make out... we can have sex...". I don't put up any resistance to this idea and go along with it. After the virtual duo do their thing in bed, she gets bored and this is where I started the whole chasing thing. She was giving me IODs, and kind of forcing the interaction, I was responding with IOIs. And drunk. She even said I smelled like alcohol after inviting me to smell her. I said "Yeah obviously, I've been drinking. What did you expect?". Things really took a dive after that... That's the general sort of dynamic right now. It used to be different a few weeks back - a lot more kino coming from her, a lot more signals and a lot more eagerness. I see what you mean with the anger. What's a better way to deal with that sort of shit test? If I ignore it, would that count as me being someone she can walk all over and cheat on? |
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| Author: | doclift [ Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
This girl is messing up your frame of mind. Abandon ship. I was being completely serious when I recommended taking a step back and getting your act together. Let's make this clear right now: your character's interaction on a video game with her's DOES NOT constitute as kino escalation. You tried to go from light kino straight to sex. The concept alone is absurd. Invest some time into learning how to properly kino escalate and then try it again on some other target. This set is busted. The fact that you two dated years ago is irrelevant. You need a breath of fresh air to reevaluate your actions throughout this interaction. Your emotions have gotten the best of you and you're not thinking clearly. In reference to how you should deal with her openly flirting with another man in-front of you: So what? She has absolutely no current commitment to you and therefore doesn't owe you an ounce of consideration about your feelings concerning her actions. You should have dealt with it by not acknowledging it. Some times, no response is the best response. Your second option would have been to use AMOG tactics on the guy, but truthfully it would have been inappropriate in this situation. She approached him. That is in no way his fault. Even if she had a ring on her finger, the other guy is totally void of fault. |
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