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Turning a friend into something more
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Author:  sugarmclovin [ Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:09 am ]
Post subject:  Turning a friend into something more
hi
Basically just asking for advice on how to take this further/ what to do.

Background
She is a girl on my course and part of my group of course friends. We walk to lectures as part of a group everyday. There's about 10-12 in the group.
She is very good looking, way out of my league by conventional standards.

We go out as an economics group occasionally and last time i went out with her in the group (last monday) i kissed her. Nothing serious just a couple of minutes of kissing. I was pretty drunk (she was as well but not as much i dont think) and we ended up having a playful disagreement about something. I said we should settle it with a thumb war, if i win she has to kiss me, she then said if she wins i have to kiss her (cringe worthy i know). I ended up beating her and we kissed for a little bit then rejoined the group (the kiss was kinda shit).
The night gets somewhat hazy from then on and i woke up with a huge black eye that i have no idea how i got...
The next day we just ignored everything that had happened and didn't talk about the kiss at all.

I met her again by accident on thursday at about 1am in a club trying to help a drunk friend home. She told me i should stay and then my mate helped the drunk friend home so i could. She kept isolating me and i think was waiting for me to kiss her again. I told her i had taken some mdma and she kept asking me if it had killed my sex drive (had previously told the group a story about the first time i took mdma where it completely killed my sex drive) i just avoided the question. After 40 mins or so of dancing and looking for various friends of ours we gave up and went home. She found a flat mate on the way out so we shared a taxi with him home (we both live at the same set of student accomodation).
Nothing happen i just said bye and went to bed.

We organised a economics bar crawl for all our course mates together for (tuesday, tomorrow) it was noahs ark themed (as in animal pairs). She suggested we should go together as we're organising it i said have to check with some other friends first then got back to her in 2 days saying yes. We're going as flamingos (fully dressed in pink). She looks hot, i look like a massive tool.

I've previously DHV'd quite well with stories of travelling etc. and she thinks i've been with loads of girls/ can get loads of girls (which isn't true)
Just wondering what i should do on the bar crawl. I am slightly worried about the consequences as we're friends etc. and we've both said on previous occasion that we're not looking for relationships (not about each other just came up in general conversation)
we'll be relatively sober as we've got to organise it but will end up in a club at the end. She'll be hit on loads throughout the night (she always does) how should i react to that?
Any thoughts or ideas greatly appreciated
sorry for the essay
thanks
Author:  sugarmclovin [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cheeky bump...
Author:  ChicksLoveMyKicks [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 6:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
:? Seems like you want a relationship with a girl who doesnt want a relationship. I would suggest you tell her you really like her and ask her to be your girl? Before asking tell her tho, bring up relationships (something about Noahs Ark, I see something there, couples, pairs of twos, etc.) and tell her you think your ready for a casual relationship. Tell her you want someone to talk to, someone to hold, someone to care for, someone to kiss? (look up at her at this point) (chicks love this shit) if she says no, well at least you have closure on the subject. Wanting a relationship with someone who doesnt want one is bad, you put her on a pedestal and end up avoiding other girls, spending tons of time with thus chick, you start missing her, get jealous and so on.
Author:  sugarmclovin [ Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Picked this up too late, but thanks very much for the advice.

quick update: monday night a mutual friend and her flat mate got drunk and professed his love for her, she didn't reciprocate and said it was really awkward, kept texting me on advice on what to do about it.
Tuesday night (noahs ark thing): Talked to her but didn't escalate or game her in anyway (didn't want anything to happen because of the mutual friend, he'd find out if something did and wasn't sure how he'd be about it). Really fun evening, had a great time. When in the club she was dancing with this guy but wasn't really into it (body language really off) she kept dancing close then looking over to see if i could see.
All my friends kept telling me it looked really obvious that it was just a trying to make me jealous thing. She'd keep stopping, coming over to say hi then going back to him.
I just ignored it and just danced with friends. She came over and danced with me for a little bit, i think she tried grinding but i made sure it wasn't sexual. Not sure what happened to her after that.

I think im gonna go down the "plenty more fish in the sea" route and just leave it, too much hassle.
On the other hand i do like closure and not knowing whether there is something or im just imagining it will annoy me. Despite me building this all up in my head we've only kissed once, is it too presumptuous to say "have we got anything here" it's probably not worth the awkwardness.
Perhaps turn it around on her and say "I'm not sure if im reading the signals wrong but i don't think we're looking for the same thing and much as i think your hot i don't want to do anything half hearted with you that will ruin our friendship"
then she can either say "i do want a relationship" or "cool, im just looking for fun"

Again any advice is greatly appreciated
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