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Flaked on by hb that suggested it
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Author:  bounty_killa [ Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Flaked on by hb that suggested it
Hey guys, just got flaked on. Couple of questions about it.

HB8 and I were supposed to go to a sporting event tonight, just texted her to tell her that I'll meet her at her place for 7 and she replies:

"I don't think I can come anymore:( ..I'm practicing for an exam tmr..or should I come. What to do?"

So I call her and ask her what's up. She's all apologetic and says she really needs to do this bla bla bla..so I'm trying to think like a PUA, and I tell her:

"Well if you change your mind call me, we can go when you're done." She says she will.

Did I react to this properly? I think I put the ball in her court here.
I certainly don't feel like a PUA, only last night it was her that wanted to come with me to the game since I was "going anyways."(I'm not)

Although I really feel like shit I don't want to do anything that comes across as needy. :x
Author:  rakeal [ Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flaked on by hb that suggested it
Quote:
"Well if you change your mind call me, we can go when you're done." She says she will.

Did I react to this properly? I think I put the ball in her court here.
I certainly don't feel like a PUA, only last night it was her that wanted to come with me to the game since I was "going anyways."(I'm not)

Although I really feel like shit I don't want to do anything that comes across as needy. :x
It wasn't PUA but it's fine. Usually I'd say it's a shit test but I think in this case she is busy. Maybe you were so PUA before she agreed for a date she didn't have time for. She seems to like you. When women flake they usually disappear, don't answer their phones ect. She seems like she is willing to meet up with you.

You did put the ball in her court so don't interact with her for a while. Be normal basically. If she doesn't call you back tonight but still shows interest. Try inviting her to something less "date-ish". Get her just to chill with you somewhere. Women tend to flake when you make things a big deal.

Lastly, you shouldn't feel like shit... sure, she flaked but that is a minor. It's a natural part of human sexuality. Just like you have buttons you push to get results women have their ways. It isn't good or bad, it is just how they are. Women flutter around and are unsure about how they feel. One minute they are down the next they aren't. As a man you should react only slightly to what she does and says. Nothing she does should effect how you feel. That's key.

Even if you don't feel like it, how about going out without her? You don't want her thinking you are sitting around waiting for her. Go out and have fun. You'll have something to tell her about when you see her next. She'll wish she hadn't missed out.
Author:  bounty_killa [ Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flaked on by hb that suggested it
Quote:

Even if you don't feel like it, how about going out without her? You don't want her thinking you are sitting around waiting for her. Go out and have fun. You'll have something to tell her about when you see her next. She'll wish she hadn't missed out.
Hey man, thanks for the reply. It seems I made another AFC mistake then, I told her (maybe more than once) that I won't go unless she's going since all my other friends went home for the weekend. :x

Before, she told me she doesn't like the sport anyways she just wanted to get out, so I took it as an IOI. Truth is I don't like it either, so I won't go.

[/quote]
Author:  samex [ Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey bounty_killa,

You did a fine a job on this one, and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. You did give her a respectful reply, and that's what a man who doesn't seek validation from woman does.

For future reference, I would personally advise a little more honesty behind your plans. The problem with you going to the game is that YOU don't actually want to go to the game, and your plans become contingent on the girl. IF you practise this, it may lead you down a dark road in which your life will become contingent on these girls.

Next time, something like this happens where a girl flakes on you, you can always just let her know "its ok, and that your going to find somebody else to go with (preferably another girl)".
This will do two things.
One, show that you don't need her to go and have fun
Two, she can easily be replaced if she is not willing to play by your rules.

Hope that helps,

Samex
Author:  bounty_killa [ Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah man, that makes sense. It sucks because lately I'm getting flaked on alot. May be due to exams, but I'm starting to wonder if there's not enough rapport before I ask them out(Although they initially agree).
Author:  bounty_killa [ Fri Mar 16, 2012 1:22 am ]
Post subject:  what's going on!?
It's happening again... saw her today and she pretended like she didn't see me! Went up to her face and was like "dude.." Since she flaked on me we have spoke only once. Did I show too little interest and lose attraction?

The reason I froze her out was because she flaked on me twice (although with valid reasons) and I was getting tired of calling her to make plans.
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