PUA Forum

Shit test during Text-Game
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Author:  smoke123 [ Fri Feb 24, 2012 12:44 am ]
Post subject:  Shit test during Text-Game

I'm a newby here. I'll introduce myself tomorrow in the proper sector. But I wanted to get this off my chest right away!

I'm just getting back into the game and this is my first hour researching again but here goes. I was hoping on some advice and critique on my texting game.

Here in the Netherlands texting means you can keep it casual, but flirtatious and cocky funny.

That's what I'm doing with a girl right now. But first you'll need some extra info about our meet i think.

I had fun with her four days ago during our carnival. (which takes 5 days, and i met her on day 4 of the feast) it was fun and a saw her again on day 5. (that's two days ago as of right now)
On day 4, i first met her and later that evening also her brother. I partied with the bother and made him approve me. He actually repeatedly said i was the most awesome guy in our group. This led to some awesome party time with his sister and a little kiss.
Her brother and i exchanged numbers in the end, his sister didn't ask me so i just went with it because i was to drunk to think of a clever way to get her to ask me for my number.
I met up with them the next day, day 5, and introduced myself to some more of her friends and made sure I was charming in every way.
I gave her a kiss on lips on both days. It didn't feel right to go for a full kiss. I didn't get the right vibe from her yet, but i could at least tell that she likes me in some way.

She got my number from her brother on day 5, texting me where i was. So i replied. We partied some more and then our feast was over.

So today I thought what the hell, lets try texting and see if i can build some extra attraction and maybe ask her out. I'm quite into this girl and I wanna see where I can take this.

During carnival I took some pictures of her and me, and the brother. In my first message I included some cute pictures. I send them to her saying: (of course translated from Dutch so this is a bit harder to get the right message across)

Me: Hey! Here are the photo's!

x Smoke123

She: You're awesome! Thnx winner. Did you already recover a bit? Xx

Me: Pff, yeah. Just slept an awesome twelve hours. Now all i need is a bit of real food and i'll be fine :) You? Fresh and back to work again?

She: aaahh nice! well, i had to be at the 'sporting therapist' at 10.30 so i took the train at 9.00 that wasn't so nice. In the evening i had to work and this morning again, so i didn't have much time to recover jet!

She: The photo's are really nice!!

Me: Yeah especially with me in it :) Though lady, done working again? I'm glad SBS (a tv station i work for, this is me trying to DHV with my job) doesn't need me again until next week!

She: Haha, ofcourse! The one with Stijn (her brother) i already used for a present for my mom :) Yeah very nice that you can chill for a couple of more days. Luckely tomorrow i'm free as well, only two hours of teaching lessons!

(she's a sports instructor, awesome ass ;) )

Me: Hey! I've got copyright on those pictures, what do i get in return? ;)

She: Haha, you're such a joker!

So my guess is, my texting game wasn't all that exhilarating but i did get my replies. And that is at least an IOI, even after not texting back she texted me again, another IOI.
In my last two messages i tried some cocky funny, complementing. After not replying for a couple of hours (she could have been sporting) she sends me a shit-test back. At least that's what i think it is. It's now night time 01:40 over here and i don't want to reply yet. I'll do that tomorrow.

What i thinks is, I could reply just with an: :)
Or: You haven't met any real jokers lately haven't you? (going on advise read earlier this evening, not sure why i should send this)

Is this correct, how should i reply and when?
(extra important info: i'm leaving for a world trip in two weeks, and she knows this)

Author:  detox75 [ Fri Feb 24, 2012 12:59 am ]
Post subject: 

lets try texting and see if i can build some extra attraction
this is usually a fools errand and your falling into a classic pitfall of texting. You should use texting to establish credibility and create mystery NOT to increase attraction per se. It took me about 3 years to figure this out, dont make the same mistake.

You are now building rapport rather then attraction, and shes already comfortable shit testing you. When she called you a "winner" that wasn't good at all btw, I would have pulled back and become more cordial right then. At this point your buying into her frame and that isn't higher value.

I would pull back and ignore her for a couple of days, re-engage cordially without all the rapport, and work to get her out on a date. Stop the rapport building bantering and banal prattle, do this shit AFTER sex. You think you are creating a challenge with your texting but you effort and attentiveness sends the exact opposite message.

Also to militate my point Who is asking all the questions here and who is making statements in these texts you posted? Thats right, you have it completely backwards from what you want.

Author:  smoke123 [ Fri Feb 24, 2012 1:28 am ]
Post subject: 

Okay, to see if i understand what you are saying.

The winner part, i figured it was bad, but i didn't know why.
I should be building attraction instead of rapport. And I'm building rapport because i'm proving to her that we are in the same frame. And on top of that its also her frame, by telling me i'm a winner.
I still don't get that, but okay. Focus on the important task. In my next message in a few days i'm going to be cordial (which means warm and friendly) towards her. So that i can get her on a date with me.

How do i do that? How do i build attraction with being warm and friendly?

EDIT: okay so you edited, ill do it as well.
I want to create mystery and credibility by being warm and friendly to get her on a date?

Author:  detox75 [ Fri Feb 24, 2012 6:50 am ]
Post subject: 

no I mean by being cordial, be polite but more professional/standoffish, like your a busy guy who doesn't have time for meaningless chit chat and wants to move this to a real live interaction- meet up.

The reason why the "winner": statement was bad is she DLV'ed you by giving you a cheesy nickname like ace, boss, brat, champ, or sparky. Remember we use these nicknames with girls to show DHV and reinforce compliance, a girl who is attracted will buy into that frame and be happy to get a pet name. The same doesn't work for guys, if a girl is DHV'ing you and giving you nicknmaes then she is leading the interaction, girls want you to lead and have the higher status if they are attracted. If she ascribed equal or lower status to you, she is not attracted enough.

Its not a lost cause but you have to retake the frame and garner her attention.

Author:  pumpington [ Fri Feb 24, 2012 12:02 pm ]
Post subject: 

don't use texting to build attraction or rapport, use it for meetups

Author:  smoke123 [ Fri Feb 24, 2012 1:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

okay, so i've been ill today and had some time to think.

When i look back on my time spend with her, i believe i was in her frame on the second day already. I should have been more standoffish and kept my frame. So let's find out if it's not a lost cause yet.

I was thinking about what you said about re-framing this and being standoffish/busy but polite. On sunday morning i'll reply with.

Me: Haha. Had a busy weekend, so talk to you soon.

And then reply on tuesday with a follow up.

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Post subject:  Re: Shit test during Text-Game

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Post subject:  Re: Shit test during Text-Game

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Author:  GoodViber [ Fri Sep 13, 2019 8:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Shit test during Text-Game

Dude. I'm new here but even I know the date invite was right there and you didn't see it. She literally said "nice you have more days. I'm free tomorrow". You should've made the invite right there, with a STATEMENT not a question. "Cool,.me too. Let's go to xxx at xxxAm/PM"

All the signals were there. You just had to take the lead. Thinking it too much with the rapport and attraction stuff,.you already did that multiple days in the festival

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