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Being willing to walk away from her, did I do this right?
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Author:  chazman0426 [ Fri Feb 17, 2012 7:23 am ]
Post subject:  Being willing to walk away from her, did I do this right?
here is a link to my other thread about this girl: next-vt128554.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=15

Long story short, I met her on POF 6 weeks ago and hung out with her about 4 times. The last few times it was a pain to arrange with her a time to hang out. I don't know if she's playing hard to get or what. Last time we made out though. Then she had to go to a party and stopped texting. We use to text and flirt every day over text but this past week we were pretty silent. Then she texts me yesterday asking how I was. I then reply to her tonight. This is how it went just a few hours ago.

Me: (in response to her text the other day) My week went by fast, how about your's?
Her: talking about her week
Me: I'm going on an adventure tomorrow you should join
Her: Where to?
Me: Surprise, it's in (nearby town)
Her: What time?
Me: Between 4 and 8pm
Her: Darn I get off work at 3:30 and then I'm going shopping with friends
Me: Ok
Her: Ok
Me: Dork
Her: I am, so on Vday I went shopping for lingerie and sex toys
Me: lol...why? (She's a very religious virgin girl so this was a surprise)
Her: Thought I'd test out the inner bad girl
Me: lol I thought you were an innocent virgin
Her: No that was a cover up
Me: too bad you'll never see my inner bad boy
Her: Those days are passed?
Me: It's a side of me that only girls who know me well have a privilege to see
Her: I know I don't know you well enough, and I was kidding about the other stuff, it was way out of my comfort zone, it was cool pretending I was bad :P (she went with a friend)
Me: I see but your not bad, your a naive innocent girl :) PS: Last chance, Let's go dt tomorrow after your shopping adventure
Her: I'm actually going to (nearby city) tomorrow night
Me: Alrighty, nice talking to you
Her: Ok
Her: Seriously (10 min later)
Her: Wow, it's hard to tell through text but I guess your serious. Have a nice life
Me: Do you think I'm serious? (I felt like too much of an ass and I do like her)
Her: I don't know, you said it and didn't reply


I left it there. Did I screw up. I've been trying to just get her to hang out and she keeps coming up with excuses. I probably shouldn't have texted her back after her 3rd text. What do you guys think?
Author:  Ruf [ Fri Feb 17, 2012 2:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
I've read the previous post and I'm going to start by commenting that I think you've played this well (despite what the pros might have said).

You waited for her to come back and that was good. +10 pts

She brought up a sexual topic +20 pts

You totally killed it and reminded her that she's a prude -40000 pts

That was your opportunity for the kill shot to wrap her around your finger. You don't get chances like that often (even less so with prudes) to start to get them picturing you and her together. Sometimes they do it just to get attention from you but if you're good you can turn that right against her. Does she pull that kinda crap often?

Should have dropped the entire date thing and asked her about what she bought... if she saw anything she liked... if she tried anything that she bought... if she had pictures... This would have been a golden one!

Next more would have been to get together so you could check out her goods... like fishing with dynamite from there.
Author:  chazman0426 [ Fri Feb 17, 2012 2:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
So how do I recover? Freeze out again? It was late so I had to steer the conversation towards the end. I wanted to make plans with her, if she keeps making excuses with no alternates that means no interest either way correct?

I'm still learning, wish I knew she was trying to get my attention, I was under the impression she was just not interested the entire time and is pulling my string. Also I don't think she actually bought anything, she was just with her friend.
Author:  Ruf [ Fri Feb 17, 2012 3:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Curiosity is even better. When a woman shows even the slightest interest in something, work with it. You need to be able to identify opportunities like this and capitalize.

I'm not sure 'saving' it is even an option but I'd play a little. Practice strictly for the purpose of learning. FORTUNE FAVOURS THE BRAVE!

Ask her about her sex toy shopping trip. Let her do the talking, just learn to ask the right questions. She'll work herself up. When the opportunity is presented and she's warmed up, be BOLD and IMPULSIVE. Get right in there and follow up with the strength and bold behaviour when you're with her.

People get so caught up in the 'systems' and techniques and forget the instigating attraction means getting people out of their logical selves an into their emotional selves.
Author:  chazman0426 [ Fri Feb 17, 2012 6:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Ruf, so you think it's ok to get back into the sex toy adventure even though I killed the mood and it was yesterdays conversation?
Author:  samex [ Sat Feb 18, 2012 9:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Being willing to walk away from her, did I do this right?
Quote:
Then she texts me yesterday asking how I was. I then reply to her tonight. This is how it went just a few hours ago.

Me: (in response to her text the other day) My week went by fast, how about your's?
Her: talking about her week
Me: I'm going on an adventure tomorrow you should join
Her: Where to?
Me: Surprise, it's in (nearby town)
Her: What time?
Me: Between 4 and 8pm
Her: Darn I get off work at 3:30 and then I'm going shopping with friends
Me: Ok
The second you get a chance to talk to this girl, you jump the gun and invite her out somewhere right away. I know why you did this, but do YOU know why you did this?
Quote:

Her: Ok
Me: Dork
Her: I am, so on Vday I went shopping for lingerie and sex toys
Me: lol...why? (She's a very religious virgin girl so this was a surprise)
Her: Thought I'd test out the inner bad girl
Me: lol I thought you were an innocent virgin
Her: No that was a cover up
Me: too bad you'll never see my inner bad boy
She set's up this frame about lingerie and sextoys. She's initiating the SEX topic and you completely bash it by changing the topic to you, rather than letter her sexual side with with.

Quote:

Her: Those days are passed?
Me: It's a side of me that only girls who know me well have a privilege to see
Her: I know I don't know you well enough, and I was kidding about the other stuff, it was way out of my comfort zone, it was cool pretending I was bad :P (she went with a friend)
Me: I see but your not bad, your a naive innocent girl :) PS: Last chance, Let's go dt tomorrow after your shopping adventure
Her: I'm actually going to (nearby city) tomorrow night
Me: Alrighty, nice talking to you
Her: Ok
Her: Seriously (10 min later)
Her: Wow, it's hard to tell through text but I guess your serious. Have a nice life
Me: Do you think I'm serious? (I felt like too much of an ass and I do like her)
Her: I don't know, you said it and didn't reply
The highlighted part is what I've been saying from day one. She is just fucking with you because your too blinded to see it and your giving her the attention she wants w/o her doing anything for it. A simple "how was your week" or whatever is enough to get you hook.


The last part of the text just demonstrates your insecurity, because even through the text she can tell your mad at her. Being mad at her at this point is meaningless. Any attempts at a further freeze-out is point less, because this girl HAS NO FEELINGS FOR YOU.

Sorry for the heartfelt truth, you need to hear this though. You want this girl back?
I'll tell you how you get her back. GO MEET OTHER WOMEN, and just watch what will happen.
Quote:

I left it there. Did I screw up. I've been trying to just get her to hang out and she keeps coming up with excuses. I probably shouldn't have texted her back after her 3rd text. What do you guys think?
You don't need any more advice on this situation. It's pointless, I don't want you getting hurt from this any more than you need to.

TRUST ME, their are OTHER WOMEN, that will GLADLY give you their TIME and ATTENTION.

Samex
Author:  Athenian [ Sun Feb 19, 2012 12:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Just avoid texts. It is so easy to misunderstand eachother through texts.
Author:  chazman0426 [ Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:47 am ]
Post subject: 
So I guess I fucked this up by falling back into my AFC self. She showed a lot of interest over the weekend by texting me when she was drunk saying she misses me and wants to see me and kiss me and stuff and kept begging me to call her. She asked me out on Saturday to which I declined because I truly had to study for an exam.

She invited me out with her friends last night though but it was mutual because we both had suggested to meet. We had fun however I noticed she was a little more distant and wasn't touching me or anything like she use to. Eventually she just dropped me off at my place I was sorta drunk and she wasn't. No kiss or hug or anything just drop off and said bye. I texted her commenting about last night and she was sort of standoffish. Not her flirty self just very one worded like "cool" and "good" so I backed off knowing this wasn't a good sign. No big deal because we were suppose to see each other in church today. I saw her but she sat with her friend on the other side and walked out without saying anything. Not even a text saying anything. This is really fucked up.

So I'm dropping her ass for a while and if she comes around I'm going to be very standoffish because that was just fucked up. I deserve much better. Fuck that. She's only a 6 or a 7, not even that hot. I just like her values and we have a lot in common.

My question is would it be more alpha to call her out on walking out on me in church when she asks why I'm being so distant ect or just leave it be?

There are some things you just ignore but I think this is a big one and it wouldn't be that needy to mention it IF she calls me out for being standoffish IF there is even a next time.
Author:  chazman0426 [ Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Any tips?
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