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Informing the girl you are about to kiss her
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Author:  needlz [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 7:49 am ]
Post subject:  Informing the girl you are about to kiss her
So we met for drinks once (not a "date") and it's been a little too friendly, lots of kino and teasing but nothing too sexual, no K-close. So before the 2nd date I thought I should set a more sexual frame in advance. I'm thinking about sending "if you behave, maybe this time you get a kiss". A little playful, not too direct.

If she's too shocked I can easily brush this off as a kiss on the cheek, otherwise I can go with "but that's all you get".

I really don't see any point of seeing her again if I'm being friendzoned, so I don't mind risking it.

Thoughts?
Author:  tnchn66 [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:27 am ]
Post subject: 
hey man not kissing on the first date is alright but u must do it on the 2nd date or imo i think its friend zone after that.
In your situation tell me how the first date went and how did u meet her. I dont like to "ask" a girl if she wants to kiss me cause i think thats really a chump move. Just fken kiss her man.
like if she laughs at ur jokes and she touches u and u touch her and she allows that then its on man. The key thing is if she is allowing you to touch her (compliance test) before you kiss her.
For example if she lets you brush her leg, hold her hand, do the claw, touch her face, touch her hair, do the claw, triangular gaze. Just gradually do those things like a ladder and eventually go for the kiss.
Just dont ask for a girl to kiss! You should never feel if she is "ready" for a kiss, just see if she is compliang with you touching her and go from there
Hope that helps
Author:  needlz [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
hey man not kissing on the first date is alright but u must do it on the 2nd date or imo i think its friend zone after that.
In your situation tell me how the first date went and how did u meet her. I dont like to "ask" a girl if she wants to kiss me cause i think thats really a chump move. Just fken kiss her man.
like if she laughs at ur jokes and she touches u and u touch her and she allows that then its on man. The key thing is if she is allowing you to touch her (compliance test) before you kiss her.
For example if she lets you brush her leg, hold her hand, do the claw, touch her face, touch her hair, do the claw, triangular gaze. Just gradually do those things like a ladder and eventually go for the kiss.
Just dont ask for a girl to kiss! You should never feel if she is "ready" for a kiss, just see if she is compliang with you touching her and go from there
Hope that helps
First time went well, she laughed constantly and let me do a lot of kino. At first her body language was closed, but eventually she opened up a little and started touching me a little too. My problem is that it wasn't really sexual. I couldn't go for a kiss. It's probably worth mentioning that we used to be friends long ago.

The whole point of what I'm doing is to state my intentions without putting too much pressure on her. That way, when we meet I can get things more sexual without it being surprising and awkward.
Author:  PurpleSmash [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:40 am ]
Post subject: 
tnchn66 makes a good point. If she's allowing you to touch her in all those different ways, the only thing stopping you from a kiss close is yourself. One little thing I find that helps is if we are sitting together, which side of me she is on. Maybe it's because I'm left handed, but I find sitting with the girl on my right side a lot more natural. My left hand is just smoother with the touch. My right arm is wrapped around her body, lightly grabbing her hip or love handle. My left hand is moving between her thigh, her hand closest to me, her neck, and then if I have to, I grab her by the chin and go for the kiss. A big sign is if you have her hand in yours, if she squeezes your hand or plays with it in any way, she's hoping you will kiss her.

Don't ask, most girls will say no even if they do want to kiss you. You have to go for it. If you're uncomfortable just going for the kiss, then turn your face towards her and lean in ever so slightly. You can sorta feel the tension in the way your eyes can't quite focus on her because her face is so close to yours. If you hold your face close enough for long, and then go the kiss, you'll usually get a reaction like "ooh that was unexpected," a smile from her, and then another kiss if you feel like it.
Author:  needlz [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:47 am ]
Post subject: 
I agree with both of you, I'm going for the kiss for sure.
What are your thoughts on the text? Will it help create tension or make things worse?
Author:  tnchn66 [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:58 am ]
Post subject: 
yup purple is right too, when you next see her try and make the date so u can sit next to her, much easier to kino.
Ya i use texts to just set up the date, but u can text something like this, had a great time with you! Btw you looked super cute in that dress you wore!
something like that to show your sexual intent to her.
hope that helps
Author:  needlz [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
yup purple is right too, when you next see her try and make the date so u can sit next to her, much easier to kino.
Ya i use texts to just set up the date, but u can text something like this, had a great time with you! Btw you looked super cute in that dress you wore!
something like that to show your sexual intent to her.
hope that helps
Was referring to "if you behave, maybe this time you get a kiss". Too direct?
Author:  tnchn66 [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:28 am ]
Post subject: 
ya man that should be good, tell me how she responds.
Just make ur intent direct towards her or else u will become friend zone.
Author:  needlz [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 9:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Alright, so I texted her to schedule our next date as well as establishing a sexual frame and stating my intentions so that she knows I mean business. I decided not to talk about kissing her, though I think it was somewhat implied without me being really direct:

ME: Punch yourself for me
HER: I'm against violence...
ME: I'm mad at you and I think you know just why
HER: I'm sorry if my friend bothered you... I didn't know she sent you that text [Her friend texted me a couple of days ago from her phone, inviting me to a party with them]
ME: No, this is far more serious!
HER: Alright I have no idea what you're talking about
ME: Here I am trying hard to study, and you just pop into my head with no invitation and break my concentration. So selfish... :)
HER: Really my entire head fit in there? :)
ME: You think this is funny? Don't think I'm going to let you get away with that so easily.. How are you planning to resolve this problem? :P
HER: It's not a problem to my opinion ;)
ME: I see you need to be educated. It's getting late so call me up when you finish work tomorrow. I'm sure we could find a way to resolve this...
HER: Haha alrighty :)

So I'm pretty sure this safely removed me from the "friendly date" category and put into the "actual date" category. If I escalate properly on the date I think a K-Close is in order.

What do you think of the conversation? Maybe too needy? I'm usually the one giving short answers and she's the one chasing me, but this time I did most of the texting...
Author:  RealMe [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 9:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
You are a man. Just give her kiss if body language is good. It's just a kiss. If you won't behave like it is a big deal, she won't.

My frame is: "I just wanted to know if you are a good kisser", why? "You look like a shy person"
Author:  needlz [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 9:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You are a man. Just give her kiss if body language is good. It's just a kiss. If you won't behave like it is a big deal, she won't.

My frame is: "I just wanted to know if you are a good kisser", why? "You look like a shy person"
The problem isn't really going in for the kiss, I know I'm a great kisser and I'm very confident about it. Usually I don't mind going for it.

With her the problem is that the vibe just wasn't sexual enough... That's why I wanted to state my intentions before the 2nd date.
Author:  dukehoopz30 [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
from what i have read u have built attraction and are starting to build comfort...which is all good but u need to start testing the waters and being more sexual....this line would work great for you to use next time u see her..

You Say "You know i think ur pretty cool, i dont kno you super well wev only hung out like once or twice, but id love to take u on a date and wine and dine you an treat your like gold, but i also REALLY want to FUCK you."

now if she accepts this statement then she is accepting u want to bang he... and then u can escalte more... go into a kiss closer and then f close.

Hope that helps.

Duke
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