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| Failed horribly... https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=99211 |
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| Author: | Emotions [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Failed horribly... |
Hey guys... I've been reading and practicing a little bit of day game for the past 3 months. Mostly approaching hired guns, and getting 3 # closes so far. Tonight was my first night in bar/club game. It's pretty late right now, but I thought I should write this before I go to sleep... I went to a bar with my friends today (both males and females), and started by having a good time with all of them. After 30 minutes, everyone disappeared, and I knew that I was better off trying to open and practice. The environment was perfect, the music was not too loud, and there were sets everywhere. I had around 3-4 openers that I made myself, just to try to open. The thing is, as soon as I knew what I had to do, I started doubting myself. I started thinking things like: "These openers don't make sense for an environment like this... now what should I say? I should've just memorized field tested openers. What if they've heard this before? OMG... Should I just go and say Hi and see what happens? But if I just say hi, what do I say after I open!?!? OMG, I FORGOT TRANSITIONS, gosh gosh gosh *sweat*" I ended up going into a bathroom stall to think and try to relax. My friend called my cellphone shortly, and told me to meet them upstairs. Stupid ideas that came to my mind, and I ended up not approaching A SINGLE SET TONIGHT. I went back to my social circle and chilled with my friends. I had a good night overall, but I knew that I had failed... I feel destroyed... 3 months of reading, and I can't even open a single set in a night club, because I couldn't even get myself to talk. I know I have to open, and then transition right after. But I doubt myself with the opener. Even if I have an opener, I still blankout when I try to find a good transition. *Things I did wrong: 1. Doubted of my own opinion openers. I felt it was stupid to ask those questions in a night-life environment. I am just not comfortable using material from someone else, so I try using my own, but apparently, I can't deliver them due to fear. 2. Started walking around constantly, after some time, I guess everyone realized that I was just walking by myself trying to pick up girls. 3. This, in turn, made me loose even more confidence, plus the fact that I kept seeing taller/better looking guys than me. 4. I started doubting my accent (I have a spanish accent), and that people wouldn't be able to understand me. First night out: COMPLETE FAIL. Has anyone experienced any of the above before? I feel devastated... HELP |
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| Author: | Simbachippie [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
im sure things like that have happened to most people including myself. with regards to these openers i only ever use two, a situational one if it happens to jump into my lap, otherwise i just go introduce myself "hi, im simba" and follow on from there. i dont believe what you say initially actually matters that much if the women is attracted to you she will respond as both of you know its just an excuse to talk anyways. atleast she now knows your intentions. I would also suggest using that 3second rule and saying whatever comes to your mind. by not opening anyone at all how could you ever know if one of those honeys had an interest in you. its a numbers game just like in sales they suggest for every 10 people you talk to you will get two leads and close one deal. so wouldnt it make sense to meet those 10 people as fast as possible. the hardest is part is just before talking, after that you will calm down considerably and all this time you have spent learning will most likely come into play, you may surprise your self. I hope it helps |
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| Author: | TheFreshPrince [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Perfectly natural, perfectly healthy. 3 months, and three numbers? Keep practicing. Go to a mall or something and approach tons of sets. All over the place. It doesn't matter if you stumble over your words and sound weird. Don't care about it, and eventually you'll feel comfortable with that. Then slowly work your way up into more and more high-pressure situations. Jumping into a large pool without knowing how to swim is an ok way to learn how to, but you were like jumping into the ocean while writing an essay on how choppy the waves were. You have all the head knowledge, but it doesn't mean anything without practical application. Keep practicing and force yourself into very uncomfortable situations. Don't be worried about all that stuff you read. Its just clogging up your mind at this point. Just speak naturally. You have openers? Cool. Use them. But from there, just try being comfortable and seeing where things go. It will increase your comfortability with it all. |
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| Author: | PUA Kenny [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Lol great metaphor about swimming FreshPrince. @Emotions-Get out of your head! Stop seeking the perfect opener. Plus there's no better opener than yours. So for you to put more confidence is others' openers is baccwards. Push comes to shove,do what I:use a situational opener as Simba suggested. Plus I see that you never received the memo about the community's 3-second rule? Whenever you spot an HB,approach within 3 sec. Longer you wait(as you did),more doubt will surface(as they did). Having a 3 second rule forces you to act. But we've all been there. |
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| Author: | PUA Kenny [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 4:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hey Emotions,checc out my blog post about club game,which I wrote last Saturday after clubbing.This should be your model from now on at the club.I dub myself the master of club game.Keep working at it and dont get paralyzed from AA.https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... tions-fun/ |
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| Author: | Emotions [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 4:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks guys!! I guess the situation that makes me the most uncomfortable is when I try saying something and they don't understand me due to my accent!! Coupled with tons of AA, it just screwed up my night!! It seems that approaching girls in your social circle is MUUUCH easier than approaching strangers!!! I guess the biggest problem for me was not being sure of my own material, since I thought it was stupid to ask things like that. For me, AA usually goes down by a lot when I know exactly what to say! But then I blank out and fail, but I guess I should at least approach and say something. I will try again!! Thank you for all your help =). |
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| Author: | PUA Kenny [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 5:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Chiccs dig accents!! Having an accent is a plus. Hype it up. Approach a set and tell them you're from ***,dont know much English(or whatever accent)and you wanted to know how to say the word *** in their language. Perfect opener there is about accents. Plus,in loud venues like clubs,it doesnt matter what you say. Words dont matter in clubs since the girl wont hear you properly. If you'd read the link to my blog post about club game,you would see that I didnt do much talking. I just opened with some BS which they probably couldnt hear,then I got physical with them(KINO and dancing)instantly. |
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| Author: | TheDeep [ Sat Aug 20, 2011 7:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
There is no such thing as failure, just lessons. Don't ever think of yourself as a failure. Remember, you're not in 7th grade anymore, no body is going to talk about your failed attempts in math class. So there is no need to feel embarrassed about any fail approaches. The more you approach the more you will get better. And remember to kiss, Keep It Simple Stupid. You're over thinking and that's your problem. I can't agree with k-loc enough, give yourself 3 seconds to approach a girl, approach her before doubt starts to set in. Also if you need an opener, a default one that I use is, "I like your bag" (or any sort of jewelry that catches your eye). Often I have girls giving me the story on how they got that accessory. |
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| Author: | MynameisFisher [ Sat Aug 20, 2011 9:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
1) Never do that again. ANY opener can work. Just anything... 2) Noone gave a damn about what you were doing. Most of them were too concerned with what all the people were thinking about them OR with having fun. 3) Looks does not matter. 4) Accent is HOT. +1 There is not a thing like fail. There are experiences. ++1 Yes... most of us have been here. Just keep it up!! |
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| Author: | PUA Kenny [ Sun Aug 21, 2011 12:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Great point Fisher. Too many ppl are concerned with their own faults so to kill yourself for the best opener isnt necessary. |
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