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| CAN YOU BE A NEWBIE AND APPROACH WITHOUT BEING NERVOUS? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=99117 |
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| Author: | natedizzle [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 3:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | CAN YOU BE A NEWBIE AND APPROACH WITHOUT BEING NERVOUS? |
I've never approached a girl that I thought was cute yet and every time I'm about to I bitch out because I remember people telling me she can sense that your nervous. I'm extremely nervous going up to girls, so Is their any way to get over that? |
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| Author: | LVATTEMPTS [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:15 am ] |
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no, the best moment is when your nervous as hell approaching a girl, and than she rejects you and you realise you arent gonna die, its almost as good as getting success. |
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| Author: | remiH [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
no matter how good of a pua you are, you are always going to get nervous when approaching women, you just have to learn to tell it to STFU and move on to your material. honestly, take baby steps. just start talking to random people, you have to get comfortable just talking and holding a conversation and make it seem like you're way more interesting than you actually are. or when you're at a club, take some liquid confidence, that always settles me down. lock in, remembe ryour material, and most importantly, adapt to each target. the purpose of pua is not to read canned material, but to learn how to talk to people easily regardless of their attraction level. gl |
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| Author: | Xsander [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 8:50 pm ] |
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I'm pretty new to approaching. I've found that if you open an older larger woman, usually they're happy to have someone chat them up, then move on to someone closer to your own age that you might not be totally attracted to, then move on from there. Also, I find ways to express my nervousness in a more appropriate or cool way, try not hiding your nervousness, but making it into a cool thing you do, make it look cool, like tapping your foot in a certain way, or make it so the anxiety might work into your story, like if it's a pressing opinion that you need an answer to, you can direct your anxiety to be congruant with your story and it seems like your anxious about the story your telling or about the opinion you need an answer to, and not that your anxious about approaching the girl. The goal at the begining isn't to lay them or number close anyway. It's to overcome appproach anxiety, so if they smell your fear, what's the difference. YOU know that your purpose is SELF IMPROVMENT. You arn't going to get laid on your first approaches anyway, so rejection isn't a big deal. I get a little spooked when I have a few openings in a row go bad though. I just end the day and assess things at home. I approached a hot girl with her mom a couple of weeks ago, and she called me out on my nervousness. She actually TOLD me that I looked nervous and not trustworthy. I made a joke about it and they cracked up. I walked away from the interaction still satisfied, knowing that I confronted my phobia. You might find that if you get a few positive interactions in a row, you hit a stride, and you can just open any hot chick, you feel like the man. Somedays that happens. Other days, I'm just not in the right mind set and I bitch out on lots of girls that I should have opened. I'm working on getting in that consistet "I'M THE MAN" groove. The key I've found is like many others say is, "Not give a fuck zen" who cares if she thinks youer story is bullshit, if she ignores you, say that's cool, have a nice day. If she stares at you weird... actually, I'm still trying to figure that one out myself. I don't know if I should just say forget it and walk away, or continue on with my story. I'm finding that logistics are a bit of a problem for me, especially using an indirect opener, it's a little obvious if you go approach a girl by detouring from your natural path of travel, cut across the road and ask her her opinion of something. It's clear that you're hitting on her. I chicken out on logistics issues a lot. Also, important points I've discovered which may be helpfull... Have a FRIENDLY CHEERFULL attitude, extremely important. And be IN THE MOMENT when approching, being in the moment is the key to spontenaity, and I've found it tends to vanish anxiety. Anxiety comes from thinking about the past or dwelling on what might happen in the future if you approach this girl. |
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| Author: | Theososs [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:12 pm ] |
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im no PUA, but im pretty sure i've heard Mystery tell he always felt Approach anxiety, its normal and it kinda makes for better sexual tension if played correctly |
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