PUA Forum :: Approaching & Opening, but Chickening out WAY too Much

Anyway, my goal at this point is to get over AA, so maybe in a way its good to use something so random to open up a total stranger.

Quote:

Anyways, I'm new too and am stuck at the stage that comes after AA. I have a habit of ejecting after the opener, even if it went well and the set shows interest.

That's where I'm at now too. Aside from AA with some hot girls that I chicken out with. The ones I open I usually eject the set too soon, after the opener. I've managed a few sets where I cut to a new thread. Still though, bailing WAYYY too soon. What's good about the begining stages, is you keep making new openers, that just wind up being stories to stack.

I opened a black girl today, I easily could have kept at it with, but I bailed because I "didn't want to bother her too much" lol, or whatever bullshit I tell myself to block progress.

Quote:

I read a really good post today about not having to "master" each stage before progressing. It may really help with the feeling that you're learning to open, and then learning to change threads, each part coming with a lot of sets and a lot of difficulty.

Nashvilleplayboy says it better so here ya go: http://puarticles.blogspot.com/2008/01/ ... -good.html

If all the canned openers don't feel right to you, then you should start trying some direct openers. And keep in mind, even if you are asking a stupid opinion opener, its just an OPENER. Its ONLY purpose is to start a REAL conversation as quick as possible. You can and SHOULD move away from the opener as quick as possible.

But, I do highly suggest you start using some direct openers.

Author:	Xsander [ Sat Jul 30, 2011 4:17 am ]
Post subject:	Approaching & Opening, but Chickening out WAY too Much
How much do you rely on the quality of an opener and routine in approaching? I can approach hot chicks, if the opener feels natural to me, and is simple, like asking a girl in a shoe store which pair of shoes she thinks look better, then cutting to a story, but with random opinion openers stopping women on the street or whatever, asking something like "hey, did you know what colour Elvis's natural hair colour was" it's a lot more difficult to do right now. It seems stupid, I can't imagine what sort of half witt girl would think an opener like that was anything other than a pick up attempt. My opener today was this.... "Hey, I need to figure something out quick, I was offered two teaching placements, one in Japan and one in Peru. I have to let them know where I want to go by 5:30 today. Which do you think is the better destination?" As I was using it, I felt weird, I think I erred too much on the side of being underprepared to give the appearence of being spontaneous, my words were catching, I fumbled my sentances. I was nervous using this, where I wasn't so nervous using other openers. I approched a ton of women today, only 2 maybe 3 I would say were women in my age range that I would date, which I forced myself to approach. Had so many chicken outs. I found asking such a random question to ANY stranger difficult, let alone hot girls. I'm not excited by the subject material in my opener. It's not a story line that I imagine a girl would get excited about and be on edge to hear more, as with a lot of the scripted openers on here. A lot of the canned openers I've seen on here seem fucking lame, lol. I know it's about delivery and attitude, but still. So much confidence and attitude and energy is drawn from having confidence in your opener, stories and routines. If your walking around thinking your opener is lame, then she's probably think your opener is lame. Anyway, my goal at this point is to get over AA, so maybe in a way its good to use something so random to open up a total stranger.

Author:	AttractionKings [ Sat Jul 30, 2011 7:26 pm ]
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Practice saying the openers over and over till it's natural. do it in the mirror so you can see what your body language looks like and listen to how you sound. If you don't like the opener get a new one, you're not stuck to just 1. Have a bunch and try them out find which ones work best for your style. Good luck!

Author:	Slip n Slide [ Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:06 pm ]
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Opening, in terms of the whole process, really isn't important. As long as you appear confident and get a conversation going, it doesn't matter what you say.

Author:	Who? [ Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:43 pm ]
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All these opinion openers starting to get on my nerves:( never anything new and interesting. OT: Dosnt really matter what you say. Had a friend yesterday who picked a girl up for a kiss close/number close with "You see that girl over there? She's trying to get a free drink from my friend! how do you girls live with your selfs!

Author:	doublefly [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 7:43 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Anyway, my goal at this point is to get over AA, so maybe in a way its good to use something so random to open up a total stranger. I have an opener app on my phone and whatever one pops up, I go use it on the next set I approach. My feel has been that openers that touch on relationships are the best, at least for girls that actually interest you. Anyways, I'm new too and am stuck at the stage that comes after AA. I have a habit of ejecting after the opener, even if it went well and the set shows interest.

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Author:	Xsander [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:58 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Anyways, I'm new too and am stuck at the stage that comes after AA. I have a habit of ejecting after the opener, even if it went well and the set shows interest. That's where I'm at now too. Aside from AA with some hot girls that I chicken out with. The ones I open I usually eject the set too soon, after the opener. I've managed a few sets where I cut to a new thread. Still though, bailing WAYYY too soon. What's good about the begining stages, is you keep making new openers, that just wind up being stories to stack. I opened a black girl today, I easily could have kept at it with, but I bailed because I "didn't want to bother her too much" lol, or whatever bullshit I tell myself to block progress.

Author:	Slip n Slide [ Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:19 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: That's where I'm at now too. Aside from AA with some hot girls that I chicken out with. The ones I open I usually eject the set too soon, after the opener. I've managed a few sets where I cut to a new thread. Still though, bailing WAYYY too soon. What's good about the begining stages, is you keep making new openers, that just wind up being stories to stack. I opened a black girl today, I easily could have kept at it with, but I bailed because I "didn't want to bother her too much" lol, or whatever bullshit I tell myself to block progress. I read a really good post today about not having to "master" each stage before progressing. It may really help with the feeling that you're learning to open, and then learning to change threads, each part coming with a lot of sets and a lot of difficulty. Nashvilleplayboy says it better so here ya go: http://puarticles.blogspot.com/2008/01/ ... -good.html

Author:	DaveUrkel (BlackWhitePU) [ Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:36 am ]
Post subject:
If all the canned openers don't feel right to you, then you should start trying some direct openers. And keep in mind, even if you are asking a stupid opinion opener, its just an OPENER. Its ONLY purpose is to start a REAL conversation as quick as possible. You can and SHOULD move away from the opener as quick as possible. But, I do highly suggest you start using some direct openers.

Author:	Xsander [ Tue Aug 02, 2011 6:36 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: . Quote: I read a really good post today about not having to "master" each stage before progressing. It may really help with the feeling that you're learning to open, and then learning to change threads, each part coming with a lot of sets and a lot of difficulty. Nashvilleplayboy says it better so here ya go: http://puarticles.blogspot.com/2008/01/ ... -good.html Yeah, Thanks for the link. It touches on some learning methods that are in Styles book, "Rules of the Game" which I'm doing now. I have a progress report going in the General Questions section called (Learning PU "Rules of the Game" Progress Report), It should probably be in Approaching and opening but whatever. In that book, very little time is spent developing each individual aspect of gameing. I got sort of caught up in opening. I opened way more sets than were required in that book. Maybe I needed to do that. Like Nashvilleblayboy says in the artical, it's up to you to decide if you feel you've gained the skill to do this specific action again with a new girl. At first I was thinking, damn, I've got to be able to open every chick, 9s 10s, then I'll move on to the next step, but I feel happy with what I acheived, I checked those off my list and moved on. So I opened mixed sets today, instead of just onesys.

Author:	Xsander [ Tue Aug 02, 2011 6:44 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: If all the canned openers don't feel right to you, then you should start trying some direct openers. And keep in mind, even if you are asking a stupid opinion opener, its just an OPENER. Its ONLY purpose is to start a REAL conversation as quick as possible. You can and SHOULD move away from the opener as quick as possible. But, I do highly suggest you start using some direct openers. I'll try that. A lot of them seem to think I'm hitting on them anyway.

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