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being too slow
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Author:  whitebird [ Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:58 pm ]
Post subject:  being too slow
A good day to you all,

I need some advice:

I have no real problems with approaching women when they don't really move, like when they sit in a park or wander in the library. What happened until now was: I made an observation, thought about something original to say and opened up. (this within less than 2 minutes).

But now I am getting frustrated: there are passing so many gorgeous women in the street. The problem is that I am too slow for this. I see someone, I get overwhelmed by her beauty and before I know what to say she passes me.
Maybe I do know what to say, I could just ask directions for example, but it just doesn't happens.

I think the main point is that I need some time to overcome my excuses which pop up to not approach. And the excuses come of course from approach anxiety. For example: there was this girl with headphones on and then I think 'oh, she has headphones on, it's no good to approach.' Then she passed and even smiled at me. But it was to late to say something, I guess.

So, what do you think about this? Any suggestions to act faster?
And what do you think about following a girl in the street to pass her again and talk to her. Wrong?


Thanks a lot.

Ps. I'm from Belgium so sorry for mistakes in my English
Author:  DaveUrkel (BlackWhitePU) [ Mon Apr 04, 2011 6:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's perfectly fine to let a girl walk by you and then turn around and catch up with her and open her. You just have to go direct. That's all. Obviously, you can't turn around and chase after a girl an then just ask for directions or something because that would seem disingenuous. So, if you're gonna go direct, just make sure you have a direct opener on the tip of your tongue ready for you, so you don't have to hesitate to think about what you should say. When I go direct during the day, I usually just say "Hey this is totally random, but I thought u were cute so I figured I'd come over and talk to you" OR "so I figured I'd come over here and embarrass myself my hitting on you innapropriately in public :)"
So, don't worry if a girl walked by you. It's perfectly fine to turn around and chase her a little bit, as long as you go direct.

And if she already smiled at you, then you can open her with the classic "Hey, you can't look at me like that and not come over and talk to me."
Author:  SkyGroove [ Mon Apr 04, 2011 7:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
imo, don't let her know you think what you're doing is innapropriate, think it's the wrong way to take these situations

make sure you approach them as you walk beside them, talk to them over the shoulder maybe

after that, say whatever you wanna say but don't forget it's perfectly natural for you to see someone and just talk you know, you're a social being
Author:  DaveUrkel (BlackWhitePU) [ Tue Apr 05, 2011 12:08 am ]
Post subject: 
The whole "hit on you innapropriatley in public" thing is a tongue-in-cheek thing and should be said a little playfully. The idea is that you don't go around hitting on every girl you see.
Author:  DaveUrkel (BlackWhitePU) [ Tue Apr 05, 2011 12:09 am ]
Post subject: 
(even if you DO go around hitting on every girl you see)
Author:  whitebird [ Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the replies
Quote:
you're a social being
You know, this is Belgium (I live in the Dutch-speaking part), and pua is a very rare thing here. Only the immigrants (Turkish, African, ...) seem to have the balls to approach a girl here. Most guys say to me that I am crazy to do this and they will describe it as 'unnatural'. Then I tell them they are crazy to not try it :lol:

On the other Hand, I mailed with a Dutch (Netherlands) pua who lived in Belgium for a while and he said it was so much easier in Belgium to approach girls just because it was so rare here, so the girl would be totally surprised. I think this is true. But still, it seems to be harder if nobody is doing it (in the day on the street, at least) and you know the girl will be totally surprised. (this is what mostly happens (I did 'only' five girls yet, though): they are surprised, and when they get my good vibes and sense of humour they get at ease).
Author:  whitebird [ Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's totally working :D
Long live taking action!
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