PUA Forum :: Reluctant to Engage Two Classmates at College

Jits138,

I opted to go with a speech on how I overcame being shy. I told a short story about how as a child, I was at church one day with my family and during the middle of the sermon, the preacher asked everyone to get up and meet those sitting around us. When my parents turned to introduce me to everyone, I was nowhere to be found, because I was hiding under the pew. I was just so uncomfortable around people I didn't know. I explained that as I got older this problem worsened and one day, I decided that enough was enough and that I needed to do something to conquer my fear.

I followed that up by emphasizing the importance of connecting with people and how well you socialize has a big impact on not only how happy, but also successful, you are in life.

I recieved mostly positive feedback. I recieved a lot of compliments for having strong eye contact and for not looking at my notecards very much. A few people noted that there were a few awkward pauses in my speech, but there were times when I was simply so overwhelmed with being nervous that I forgot what to say next. That's definitely something I need to work on.

A few girls told me that they were surprised to hear that I was ever shy. One girl expressed that she found it hard to believe, because i'm always mingling with everyone in the class and asking the teacher lots of questions.

I guess trying to be the alpha male in the room is paying off. What do you think?

The Leading Man

Author:	johndoe12345 [ Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:20 pm ]
Post subject:	Reluctant to Engage Two Classmates at College
At my college, there are two girls that I would like to talk to, but have been unable to muster up the courage to do so. I share one class with each girl. In my first aid class, the girl sits directly behind me. I have not spoken to her yet, but she seems shy. In my speech class, the girl sits on my row, 3 seats over. I have had a brief interaction with her recently. Our teacher gave us, what she deemed, an "ice breaker" project where we had to go around the classroom with a list depicting various situations (ie: has a family member who owns a business, has lived outside of the country, etc.), find out who they applied to, and then get their signature. I would like to express that I found this activity both forced and awkward, but enjoyable nonetheless. Better than leaving the students to fend for themselves. While everyone was scurrying about the classroom to get their lists signed, the girl I want to talk to repeatedly used my desk to do her signatures. The first time, I said to her, "You know, i'm going to have to charge you for using my desktop." She wouldn't even make eye contact with me, she just smiled and said, "I'm sorry." Not a few minutes later, she returned and did it again, to which I commented, "Back again, huh? You're just rackin' up the charges." Keep in mind, it was so busy in the classroom that a real conversation was not feasible, but I felt compelled to say something. On a sidenote, there is another girl in that class who sits at the front of the room who, when she tried to get my signature, I said to her, "Wow. I feel like a movie star. Everyone wants my autograph." She laughed, but appeared very nervous. I wouldn't mind trying to sarge her. She is cute, but not as attractive as the girl I would really like to talk to. Now, one aspect of this situation I would like to address is my frame. I went into both of these classes determined to excude confidence and be the alpha male. Once I got the ball rolling, it's been fairly easy to stick with it. I try to be friendly and conversational with everyone, but I have made the most progress with this in my speech class. I am on a first name basis with half of that class already. I talk to people even when it's dead quiet in the room, something I usually feel uncomfortable doing. When I talk to people, I ensure my voice carries well throughout the room without being too invasive. I casually incorporate DHV material into my conversations, but only occasionally as to avoid seeming like i'm bragging. I frequently ask questions during lectures, questions that I know people want to ask, but are too embarrassed to. If a student is talking to the teacher and is struggling to explain themselves in a way that they teacher understands, I often clarify things for the teacher and turn to the student and say something like, "I got ya', man. I know what you're trying to say." I've got a speech coming up next week. We were allowed to choose our topic from a list. I chose an important lesson I have learned in life. I have narrowed it down to discussing either a.) my viewpoint that the world is a playground or b.) social dynamics. I can't decide if I want to emphasize to the class that i'm adventurous or socially intelligent. Anyway, suggestions on talking to the two girls, maybe the third, would be appreciated. You are also welcome to touch on the subject of my speech if you would like. Thanks, guys. The Leading Man

Author:	Jits138 [ Fri Jan 28, 2011 4:09 am ]
Post subject:
It's sounds like you have done everything right and it should be easy to open these two. Their shyness might just be them trying to mask interest or the may be nervous because your positioning as alpha has been really solid. When people get shy around you it usually means the view your social value above their own. People get super nervous when they talk to the president but are super casual with a waiter. If the way you depicted the situation is accurate you can probably open with the infamous "I like pickle juice" and still do fine. On topic of speech. Stick with the world is a playground. Don't talk about PU, Social Dynamics, Social Psychology etc. in the field. A good magician never shares his tricks : )

Author:	d mid [ Fri Jan 28, 2011 11:29 am ]
Post subject:
I love running ross jefferies art opener from the game. I've had a ton of success with it, basically you draw a stick figure loosely resembling the chick, but make that shit way funny, make one eye bigger than the other, her mouth off center, etc. Then just approach her with Hi and ask her if she likes art (of course she does) i then tell em i'm a phenom artist and that I drew a picture of her, keep in mind i am dead serious through all this, i tell her it's going to be like looking in the mirror, then hand her the folded up piece of paper with my lame ass stick figure drawing on it and instantly she knows youre an alpha male who doesnt take her beauty seriously. try it out and let me know how it goes bro, may the force be with you

Author:	johndoe12345 [ Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:02 pm ]
Post subject:
Jits138, I opted to go with a speech on how I overcame being shy. I told a short story about how as a child, I was at church one day with my family and during the middle of the sermon, the preacher asked everyone to get up and meet those sitting around us. When my parents turned to introduce me to everyone, I was nowhere to be found, because I was hiding under the pew. I was just so uncomfortable around people I didn't know. I explained that as I got older this problem worsened and one day, I decided that enough was enough and that I needed to do something to conquer my fear. I followed that up by emphasizing the importance of connecting with people and how well you socialize has a big impact on not only how happy, but also successful, you are in life. I recieved mostly positive feedback. I recieved a lot of compliments for having strong eye contact and for not looking at my notecards very much. A few people noted that there were a few awkward pauses in my speech, but there were times when I was simply so overwhelmed with being nervous that I forgot what to say next. That's definitely something I need to work on. A few girls told me that they were surprised to hear that I was ever shy. One girl expressed that she found it hard to believe, because i'm always mingling with everyone in the class and asking the teacher lots of questions. I guess trying to be the alpha male in the room is paying off. What do you think? The Leading Man

Author:	johndoe12345 [ Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:
D Mid, I love that routine! I'm definitely going to give it a shot when the opportunity presents itself. Thanks for sharing! The Leading man

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Author:	Jits138 [ Tue Feb 08, 2011 3:26 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Jits138, I opted to go with a speech on how I overcame being shy. I told a short story about how as a child, I was at church one day with my family and during the middle of the sermon, the preacher asked everyone to get up and meet those sitting around us. When my parents turned to introduce me to everyone, I was nowhere to be found, because I was hiding under the pew. I was just so uncomfortable around people I didn't know. I explained that as I got older this problem worsened and one day, I decided that enough was enough and that I needed to do something to conquer my fear. I followed that up by emphasizing the importance of connecting with people and how well you socialize has a big impact on not only how happy, but also successful, you are in life. I recieved mostly positive feedback. I recieved a lot of compliments for having strong eye contact and for not looking at my notecards very much. A few people noted that there were a few awkward pauses in my speech, but there were times when I was simply so overwhelmed with being nervous that I forgot what to say next. That's definitely something I need to work on. A few girls told me that they were surprised to hear that I was ever shy. One girl expressed that she found it hard to believe, because i'm always mingling with everyone in the class and asking the teacher lots of questions. I guess trying to be the alpha male in the room is paying off. What do you think? The Leading Man I think you would be hard pressed to find a better way to behave in that situation. Impressive!

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