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How do u maintain confidence after running out of material?
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Author:  Moreno [ Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:05 am ]
Post subject:  How do u maintain confidence after running out of material?
Hey guys,I need your honest opinion on this,when i started gaming i would reach occasionally some moment when i would go blank on my mind,running out of
things to say,and instead of just feeling comfortable and going with the vibe,i would
look around nervously,trying to act cool as if the silence doesn't affect me,
and girls would just stare at me like o.O,how do you act when u realise that
u don't have something to say,how do you motivate urself to feel confident at that
moment?

Thank you!
Author:  new2game [ Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How do u maintain confidence after running out of materi
Quote:
Hey guys,I need your honest opinion on this,when i started gaming i would reach occasionally some moment when i would go blank on my mind,running out of
things to say,and instead of just feeling comfortable and going with the vibe,i would
look around nervously,trying to act cool as if the silence doesn't affect me,
and girls would just stare at me like o.O,how do you act when u realise that
u don't have something to say,how do you motivate urself to feel confident at that
moment?

Thank you!
1. slow you speech down.
2. Listen to what she is saying and dig deeper, you ALWAYS have somewhere to go.
3. Dont feel awkward with the silence. It creates KILLER sexual tension if you have led up to this moment properly.
4. Don't feel like you HAVE to think of things to say all the time. Your not their jester, your not there for THEIR entertainment.
Author:  Conker [ Mon Nov 29, 2010 2:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeh true -they are looking at you looking around nervously - not at the silence. Think about that. There's nothing wrong with silence. The only thing that ever matters is how you deal with a situation.
Author:  jazz25 [ Mon Nov 29, 2010 4:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
my pop always tells me.. it aint what ya say son..... Its how big ya dick is
Author:  prehn [ Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
my pop always tells me.. it aint what ya say son..... Its how big ya dick is
hahahaha that's gold right here!
Author:  _Illusionist_ [ Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
You shouldn't be prying confidence from canned material anyways..
One of the main parts of Pick Up for new guys is the transition between using canned lines and frames - to learning how to do it naturally. Even though your more natural game may have echos of the canned material, like opening with an opinion question etc, but it should no longer be something that you rely on.

When you're comfortable with yourself, you'll be comfortable talking utter non-sence to others, but if you make it believable, and project it with confidence - you can sell anything..

How do you think Con Artists and Confidence tricksters are so good at what they do... Tell ya what - search a show called "The Real Hustle", it's originally a British programme - one of the con artists is a guy called Paul - a fat dude, but he can sell sand to arabs, probably worth to have a look at him.
Author:  seins345 [ Tue Nov 30, 2010 12:45 am ]
Post subject: 
"How do u maintain confidence after running out of material?"

Easy, using NO material.

If u look nervous or dont have things to say its because u have a very very boring life and u realize that u dont have cool stories, u are getting nervous because u know u are crap right now and u know u cant fake it, and you know that if the girls walk out or the situation goes wrong, you cant take control of it.

Make ur life interesting, make crazy things you like to do and u will never run out of material.

Watch some american pie movies, then do the craziest crap you can imagine, then do it regullary and trust me, you will never be "unconfident" about life.
Author:  Conker [ Tue Nov 30, 2010 2:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Great post seins.
Author:  0uch [ Wed Dec 01, 2010 9:01 am ]
Post subject: 
I suggest you stop using routines and learn how to have conversation with women.
Author:  jurupa [ Wed Dec 01, 2010 10:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Using material like that as a crutch is a very bad thing to do. Learn to socialize more and learn how to start conversations without pre made up material.
Author:  jazz25 [ Thu Dec 02, 2010 3:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
using routines is a very good thing to do.

Dont fall for the " o mi god routines ew wata freak mindset like i did...

When you go natural with girls you eventually form natural routines, or small sentences in situations that you know work... which you re use in a conversation with many different girls.

But at some stage you have to go natural when you run out of routines or if you meet up for a day 2... it can never work if your just doing routine after routine... thats not human man thats robot stuff.

So id say practice using less and less routines and more natural conversation until your comfortable with both, then integrate both into your style.

My 2 cents.
Author:  himynameis [ Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Your life
Hey man, I'm still new to this and I've learned to think body language, since most agree it's around 85% of what you communicate with mostly in interactions. Even projecting the right body language on purpose, may even put you in a mindset that makes you feel more comfortable, thus making you appear more confident. I know I have a problem of thinking too much, but learning to get a handle on it too, about what to say and stuff.

But what is REALLY helping me is that I started writing down my life goals, and this has helped me because in the back of my mind, I know where I'm going. I'll get to feeling confident because of this.

But I also am aware about hyping myself up. Hyping yourself up won't work. I just think, stay aware and confident of where I'm going, and remain calm.

Hope this is something you can use. Also, I recommend the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. This will help you in creating steps to clarify your goals. It's what I'm doing right now.

If you find this working for you, let me know what happens.
Author:  BridgeBurner [ Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
have three major defaults that you can always talk about....... DONT use'em until you have to...

STOP using canned shit as much as you can and you will never run out of things to say....but until then have defaults.. ive had my defaults before I EVER learned anything about PUA community and have always been fine

my defaults

current tv shows "you look like the girl from" "omg do you watch....." etc
music: ev thing from playin instruments, airguitar rockband or fav bands
snowboarding

bringing up almost any of these will lead to a story like a dhv or whatever.. "i play this and that" "i was in japan last year snowbaording in hokkaido.. ever been to japan? ever travel?"

etc.. just have thre defaults that you can always bring up randomly and that you KNOW something about... i actually enjoy talking about that stuff anyway...
Author:  SCB [ Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Like others here said, Canned material are fine for beginners, training wheels if you will. But what you need to focus on is not what material to use next, but to find clues in what she is saying and actually listen to what she is talking about.

Example:

Her: "I went to Canada recently, I loved it, it was snowing and I love the snow!"

Rather than think, "Ok, next material, erm, 5 lies" and roll into that, instead the Girl has given you the next part of the conversation, so it rolls into this instead:

Him: "Wow, Canada, really? I always wanted to go, never have yet, what's it like, what was your favourite part of it?"

Her: "Well, I love the accent, so strange I met these French-Canadian girls up there and they such a weird hybrid accent of American and French, was so cool, I wish I had their accent"

Him: "Aww, I think your accents pretty hot, I went to Moscow, Russia a few years ago, and I love the accents there, so sexy on a Woman. But the best part was Red Square, it was snowing heavily and it just reminded me of when I was a Kid at Christmas, y'know and looking forward to just getting warm and cosey in front a fire with a nice cup of Hot Cocoa. Magical. We're are so gonna do that, we are go be all cuddled up like this (at this point stand next to her a cuddle her gently) Cup of Hot Chocolate, with Marshmellows and Cream, in front of a fire on a sofa just enjoying each others company."


Notice how I slowly integrated parts of the M3 model into this, I had Listening, Kino, Framing, Screening etc and look how it started, with a seemingly innocent conversation about travelling, which you could also go back to, like the guy here could go back to talking about Moscow quite easily.

Also VERY, VERY Important to speak SLOWLY, don't rush it, one of the worse things you can do, I was guilty of that for ages.
Author:  Moreno [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 7:44 am ]
Post subject: 
thanks for ur answers everyone,particularily the most
helpful ones new2game's,seins',bridgeburner's
and scb's.

it's funny cause the moment that somebody starts using less routines
and can can continue the interraction by free-associating what she says
to something else,that's when u know that ur at least good in game,
and it's a skill,cause u gotta think on ur feet,and that's a newbie's nightmare,
newbies love routines cause it's "sure" something that's ready,u don't have to
play mind-roulette and see what topic comes up to talk about right there after
she says something,but the downside is that routines are most of the time
out of place,most of the time they don't relate to what she's saying cause it's
preplanned.

So yeah,removing routines from my game and learning to take in what she says
to continue the convo is one of the things i'm working on now,

Gotta mention BridgeBurner's post,talking about "defaults" it's something like,
u can say that it's routine but at the same time it creates opportunities for
her to open up, so for example the convo dies,u go "have u ever tried salsa
dancing?" and she goes yes or no,then u start talking about it,how much
u like it,how long have u been doing it (or whatever ur hobbies are) and
she gets to comment on it,maybe relate to herself about what she thinks
about salsa,or maybe talk about one of her hobbies.

I think that's a "safety airbag" right there,in case u get "paralyzed" in the convo

Again,i appreciate all ur comments :)
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