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The Girl At Work
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Author:  ziggy*dust [ Sat Nov 20, 2010 7:18 pm ]
Post subject:  The Girl At Work
There is this new girl I work with and everyone would agree that she is cute. I have been trying to approach her more and just start up harmless conversations, just to get to know her a bit more and so we can be comfortable around each other. So before I step to close to the friend zone I need some advice to make the attraction. Time after time I have met a girl and we have just been friends and nothing more whether in class or work. I have already found out that we have a lot in common; music, hangout spots, activities…, and I don’t want to blow my chances with this girl.

Objective: Get her to come to my friends Tacky Christmas Sweater Party in 3 weeks.

Now I may work with her 2-3 times a week so that should be plenty of time to spark an attraction but I need some tips.
Should I avoid the friend zone even though we work together? Is it a bad idea to pick up someone you work with?
What are some ways I could try and meet up with her outside of work?
Any other advice?
Author:  josh4587 [ Sat Nov 20, 2010 11:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you have a lot in common then there is your chance. What ever it is yall have in common just ask her if she would like to go do whatever it is yall like to do. The only way your going to find out is to ask if confidence has no budget. Good Luck
Author:  Haifisch [ Sat Nov 20, 2010 11:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
I Think aproaching a woman at Work can be quite Risky. You need to be very careful. At least it is like that in Germany.
Author:  tylo [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 5:33 am ]
Post subject: 
Approaching a woman at work can be risky in the US too. Even if everything goes well with the approach and you get a relationship started You could have problems at work if you have a nasty break up and she wants to cause problems for you.
Author:  RemyTheRed [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 6:30 am ]
Post subject: 
yes I agree. gaming at work can get ultra messy. It would also serve you to have the abundance mentality and find another target, world is full of them.

If you really insist tho, I suggest using sinn's relationship latter a bit to get her thinking of you in an out of work environment. Then as you guys continue to talk casually at work invite her in a "no pressure, you would like her to come because she's cool person" kind of way.

Then go have a good time, then sexually escalate. kino there slowly.Then let her know the deal, be straight up before hand about sex and the relationship. As long as you frame it in a fun, comfortable, and mutual way all will be good. it's kind of a high wire act though, lemme tell ya.
Author:  new2game [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 11:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
yes I agree. gaming at work can get ultra messy. It would also serve you to have the abundance mentality and find another target, world is full of them.

If you really insist tho, I suggest using sinn's relationship latter a bit to get her thinking of you in an out of work environment. Then as you guys continue to talk casually at work invite her in a "no pressure, you would like her to come because she's cool person" kind of way.

Then go have a good time, then sexually escalate. kino there slowly.Then let her know the deal, be straight up before hand about sex and the relationship. As long as you frame it in a fun, comfortable, and mutual way all will be good. it's kind of a high wire act though, lemme tell ya.
I have been there and done this. IF you get into a relationship with this girl, be prepared IF/WHEN things go sour. Because if it does it will ruin your worklife.

THINK CAREFULLY about doing this. Weigh up the pro's and cons.
Author:  lucky13rcm [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
dont do it! put it this way, say you hook up, you click, you fuck, you then fuck again and again great. you now work with your girlfriend!! 247 togetherness and it'll get boring. or.... you then fuck again and again and it ends up not working out, you now work with "that girl"! awkward! the only way it'll probably work is if one of you leaves your job...
Author:  ziggy*dust [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 6:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Alright i can see where eveyone is coming from here and i do agree that relationships in the work place could lead to a boring conection. And the 24/7 relationship is somthing that nobody wants to deal with. I think i will just play my cards and use what we having in common to build a relationship as a friend. Then work the game a bit and become friends with benifits. I have had success and failure with that move but there is the fact that we will be around eachother at work.
Thanks for all the advice. I think this will need to be played carefull, or start look for a new job. haha.
Author:  Haifisch [ Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good Luck!
Author:  taylormade [ Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Listen, who cares what awkwardness comes from this. If you want to hook up with the girl then do it.

I would let her know your intentions right off the bat. Now, I don't mean straight up tell her you want to fuck her but, hint around about it. That's the absolute best way to avoid the friendzone. I would just make jokes and have sexual undertones. Like, if she says "i'm so tired today I just want to go to bed!" Say something like "want some company?" and smile.

Don't be afraid of looking like you want to hook up with her, there is nothing to be ashamed of. You're a man it's natural.
Author:  Bram_Stroker [ Wed Nov 24, 2010 9:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
You can do what I did, it's very risky but the reward is amazing. There was a HB9 at my work that all the guys were nuts over, but she was hard to get into a conversation.

What I did is, one day when she left her things unattended, I snatched a couple of her personal effects. After a few hours, I gave it some time so she'd notice they were missing, I went to her and acted like I found them on the floor leading to the staff room. I have been in ever since that day, like, she always comes up to say hi to me and stuff.
Author:  ziggy*dust [ Sun Nov 28, 2010 12:29 am ]
Post subject: 
So i started playin around with her and going straight to the flirting and joke/teasing. She seems to enjoy it but i still dont think she is catching that i am attrated to her and i really havent picked up that she is attracted to me yet. I think what your all saying is right, with not trying to hide my intentions with her...at least there wouldnt be anything wrong if she excpeted me to like her. I think i will keep flirting with her and try to meet her after work where i can atleast tell/show her my intentions.I guess i just need to figure out how to attract her and see me as more that just the nice, quiet guy she works with.
Author:  Conker [ Sun Nov 28, 2010 12:55 am ]
Post subject: 
There's no right or wrong here just because she's at work - she's a girl, you guys get along, see where it goes. That's all that matters in life.

Even if you met through a dating website, it doesn't change anything.

It's always "let's see what happens", you could be friends, you could be fuck buddies, you could end up dating in the future, or nothing could happen at all. Don't be outcome dependant, just enjoy her company.

Inviting her out to the party is easy - you can say something as simple as "Hey we're having a party (give details) you should come!" it's just the way you do it. And that takes practice - to just relax and do something because you think it'll be fun, not because you're concerned about the outcome. You should have half a mind to weave it into the conversation but don't be too forceful about it, but don't leave it too late either - your delivery will need to be appropriate depending on the situation (and that's what makes it natural) eg. if I was thinking it hadn't come up in convo yet and it was getting late, when I'd finished talking to her one time, I'd say it in a way that it just occoured to me to invite her because I was talking to her right then and she seems cool and it might be fun. I mean, it's relaly dependant on the situation though, you have to be creative and flexible.

I'm about to do this this week actually :) It's a drawing based event and if drawing doesn't come up in the conversation I'm just going to open her with "hey have you done any of your drawwing recently" and then "we're having a drawing night" etc. and tell her how it works. I've been watcvhing the signs for a while, she's clearly expressd interest in seeing me naked and that she likes modelling herself. So I'm using that knowledge as a kind of a hook.

But while it's good to slip it into conversation, or have a hook, you shouldn't depend on that. There doesn't HAVE to be a reason, and you'd seem wierd trying too hard to come up with one. You just say as above, it's just a "you should come along because it'll be fun" thing. and the key is it's all in the confident and positive way you do it.
Author:  ziggy*dust [ Sun Nov 28, 2010 1:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Conker, I am trying to be more spontanious. I agree that conversations/relationships go a lot smoother with a more confident and worry free vibe. I think it will be easy to slip into the invite in the conversation with holidays coming up, and i alreay know she likes to party.

Sounds like youve got a good plan. There is always a way to initiate a conversation to lead to your objective. Thats funny she wants to see you naked, that could be a sign of intrest... Its hard to say though cause most people are interested in seeing another person naked anyway. Good luck this week, let me know if it works out.
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