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Picking Up as a Server/Bartender
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Author:  yeagermeister84 [ Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Picking Up as a Server/Bartender
Hey guys, I have been serving for about two years, but the place I have been working catered mostly to the elderly and families so I never had a chance at trying to pick up any attractive customers.

Well I just got a new job at the restaurant/bar that is right in the middle of my college campus and I know that girls form campus are always in this place. So I was wondering if anyone could give me some tips in how to pick up on girls you are either serving food to or getting drinks for, without seeming like you are just being friendly.

I am new to this whole pick-up thing, and I see a lot of abbreviations around that I don't know what they mean, so if someone could direct me somewhere to find out what these abbreviations mean that would be helpful as well. Thanks.
Author:  EvoJ [ Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
The abreviations are in the newbie section under umm. "READ FIRST" I think.

EvoJ
Author:  yeagermeister84 [ Tue Sep 18, 2007 9:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The abreviations are in the newbie section under umm. "READ FIRST" I think.

EvoJ
Okay, thanks, I read through that.
Author:  DoctorH [ Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
I am a server at a fairly upscale restaurant. We get lots of 2 sets come in to have drinks and appetizers or something.

The key is DHV DHV DHV. If you can score them free drinks, free dessert, give them your employee discount, or take 10 bucks off the top of their check, they flock.

Lines I love:

PUA: Girls thanks for being chill tonight.
HB: Sure, no problem, etc.
PUA: Because everyone else tonight is being totally bitchy.
HB: Aww, sorry, that sucks, etc.
PUA: So let me see if I can hook you up with some another round or something.

And act like it's just something natural you do to people you get along with (although it could actually probably lose you your job if you got found out).

PUA: (Towards the end of the meal) Hey, thanks for putting up with some crappy service tonight, sorry I was so busy. [This only works if you've given great service and have established a connection and DHV already, not if you actually did give crappy service.]
HB: Really, no! You are great, you're so funny, etc.
PUA: Thanks, girls. Tell that to your single, female friends.
HB: [Cue laugh track.] Well, I'm taken but she's (her HBfriend) single....
PUA: Then tell her. And tell her to put her number on the check and we'll go get something to eat. Anywhere but here.. haha (and walk away)

Let me know if these work but, like I said, the key is DHV DHV DHV! You've gotta be memorable enough to get a #close.

Plus sarging when you are working is great becuase you are in control. You walk away when you want, you say hello and control all the conversation. The fact that you are getting the drinks is DHV already.

Let me know how these work out.
Author:  Valence [ Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The fact that you are getting the drinks is DHV already.
Huh?

I am not a server, nor bartender, but this is not a DHV. I also do not know why you think that giving them free stuff is a DHV.

Game them as normal. Make sure everything is very calibrated (do not over neg) and tease lightly. Even though you are serving them, make sure you keep your frame.
Author:  DoctorH [ Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
The reason I said what was quoted is something you will only understand if you are a server/bartender. You are in control. The women are asking you for things, you control when they leave, when they get their food, how quickly you make their gin-and-tonic.

It sounds counter-intuitive to say that you are in control when you are serving them, but it is that way. If you are good at your job, you are in control.

I do admit, however, that buying drinks and the like could backfire, but it does escalate the situation from being just the nice guy server to being the guy who is possibly interested once you've developed some repor.

It's difficult to understand unless you do it for a living. Thanks for your comment.
Author:  NeoGeo [ Sun Sep 30, 2007 7:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
So I'm also a server and where I work I might get 3 or 4 HB7's or 8's on a given Saturday night. Sometimes there's an occasional HB10 but they're usually with their respective AMOG.

Lately I've been developing a system to get the customer to put their number on the check without explicitly asking for it. Because asking sucks, you should never have to ask.

So to start you should target groups of girls with at least one HB. It's even better if there is a guy in the group because usually guys are receptive to waiters and, of course, winning them will help in winning the HB.

Your first priority should be to get the entire table to laugh. This is pretty easy usually. Start by saying hey everyone thanks for coming, or how are you doing. It doesn't matter as long as you're enthusiastic and grinnin' big.

Now comes my favorite opener. I wear a false name tag and say:

ME: Hey, my name is Ben, Even though my name tag says Jason.

This statement almost always opens the table. Usually they ask why I have the wrong name tag or, even better, they joke around with me about false identity or something. The better you are at improvising the more opportunity you'll have to really make a connection with the table.

At this point you're table should be into you and ready to have a fun meal. All you need to do to the HB is make passing glances, you know a little eye contact or something that's all DO NOT STARE.

Remember a server/waiter always has an excuse to leave the table. Avoid getting caught up in long awkward, "Ok, I'll get this going for you right away." or something. The best thing to do is just walk away promptly.

But, before you walk away you might neg the HB on her choice of food outfit or something. Feel it out, if you don't think she'd like it then don't do it. Sometimes it's as easy as raising you're eyebrows just enough to let her know that you're surprised by her choice of food.

Now that things are underway and you're bringing drinks and visiting other tables try making eye contact with the HB. If you can catch her a few times, that's an IOI.

This is the part that I'm still working on. Since you're at work you can't isolate. (Unless you're really god and can catch her on the way to the bathroom for a quickie, which I imagine only a pro could pull off.) So you must isolate while she's sitting with her friends. Use you're PUA senses and be ready to notice the most subtle IOI's Is she asking for an abnormal number of refills? Take notice of every little thing and at the same time make sure you're walking around like you're the server they all call Iceman. Also Make sure that you're opening up other tables and getting them to laugh as well. DHV is key here, she'll notice if everyone you talk to is laughing.

Don't be afraid to open tables of families, elderly or men. Even if there are no chicks around it's good practice and will increase your tips guaranteed.

Now toward the end of the meal you go for the kill.

ME: You guys seem like a fun crowd, what are you all doing tonight?

This reminds them that you're a person who likes to party and if the HB is IOIing this will make her ponder extra curricular activities.

Finally, writing on the reciept something like, Thank You or You Guys Were Fun!! will let her know that it's ok to write something back, like passing notes in class. Also I think giving the bill straight to the HB might qualify as a neg.

If everything went as planned she picked up on your interest in hanging out later and you'll find a fat-juicy number in the check presenter.

This system is very new, I've only field tested it on two nights. So far I haven't had any results but it's all about trial and error. I'll repost when the algorithm is perfected.
Author:  Chelsea [ Sun Sep 30, 2007 7:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The reason I said what was quoted is something you will only understand if you are a server/bartender. You are in control. The women are asking you for things, you control when they leave, when they get their food, how quickly you make their gin-and-tonic.

It sounds counter-intuitive to say that you are in control when you are serving them, but it is that way. If you are good at your job, you are in control.

I do admit, however, that buying drinks and the like could backfire, but it does escalate the situation from being just the nice guy server to being the guy who is possibly interested once you've developed some repor.

It's difficult to understand unless you do it for a living. Thanks for your comment.
I agree with this 100%

With the free drink I think when its given it should be said its on the " House" and not on you because then it seems like you are already buying them drinks. You can also point to your target and say " But IM charging you double" BUT I think this is polite and I also think this is an attractive gesture, and If I was digging you already this would make me feel comfortable enough to just leave you MY NUMBER :)

OR its a great way for me to give back the gesture and see if you want to meet up later so I can buy you a drink, Or atleast want to come back again to request you, and its an excuse to see you again, if I like you.

Just my Two Cents
Author:  DoctorH [ Sun Sep 30, 2007 11:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you chelsea.
Author:  NeoGeo [ Mon Oct 01, 2007 6:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Field Report:

So I'm serving and I get a two top, an HB7 and HB5. Perfect for some practice.

So I open the table with the Hey, my name is Ben even though my nametag says Jason. They laugh and we joke a little, I'm in.

Since I'm just experimenting I figure I'll try some cool shit. So I approach the table and run the best friends test. Works like a charm so I walk away just before they can start asking me questions.

I go up again a little later, turn to one and say, "I'll give you three seconds to pick a number between one and ten. 3...2...1... It was seven." She says, "Wow, what? how'd you do that, does everyone choose seven?" I just say I'm psychic and walk away.

By this point I've lost my nerve because I'm sure they're quite young. I hope that they're college freshmen, but, after I ask they say no and look at me strangely. At this point I drop it and don't attempt to go for a number.

But, if they had been college freshman I would have started talking to them about partying, mentioned I go out all the time and know where all the parties are and got the number, no problem.
Author:  Trivial [ Mon Oct 01, 2007 9:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
I like your method you posted above.... but how young were they lol???
Author:  NeoGeo [ Mon Oct 01, 2007 9:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
They could have been 18, but I couldn't be sure unless they were college freshmen.
Author:  Mihail [ Tue Oct 02, 2007 4:29 am ]
Post subject: 
i bartend in the club... per night atleast 10 girls would ask me to hook them up with free drinks for a kiss/lapdance/company ect... i just say:
Nah baby, it works other way. if you want a kiss you gotta buy me a drink, and if you tip me good i might consider to agree on one date!
works every time .. ofcourse they dont buy me a drink.... but they tip or/and kiss me and give me their numbers.

another trick i did.. if there is a company of girls like 2-5 i give all of them free shots exept one (target) while saying "it doesnt mean i do it all the time and for everybody" it works as good neg...
Author:  FawnStar [ Sun Sep 15, 2013 10:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Picking Up as a Server/Bartender
^Mihail,

Appreciate your post. Sounds like some good game.

8)
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