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I just cannot approach.
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=71016		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  jwilliams [ Mon Jul 12, 2010 10:03 pm ]
Post subject:  I just cannot approach.
I really can't do it. I mean, I think it's more than just AA, It's really really bad. I just got out of a 3 and a half year relationship, I'm devastated, and PUA seems to be my only hope. However, the act of going up and talking to a complete stranger seems absolutely crazy to me, not to mention rude. If I was going on about my business and some stranger walked up to me I would think it was really weird, not only that but I would automatically think that they have an agenda. Now, don't women think it's incredibly weird when a stranger walks up to them and just starts yapping? Don't they automatically think that you have an agenda? I just don't get how you can start talking to somebody you don't even know without some kind of reason like you work together or something. Help me understand because it seems like in order for this to work I'm going to have to start talking to complete strangers and it is completely against my nature.
Author:  Mudrc [ Mon Jul 12, 2010 10:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just cant approach: I hear you. Same here. I just cant. I want to but I cant. Im in community about two years without singel approach with "pickup" intent.

Anyways, your question about approaching strangers: its not weird if you have the right attitude/vibe and you bring value.
Author:  dkjscfklsdfhj [ Mon Jul 12, 2010 11:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah, women might be suspicious of an agenda when you first approach them, which is why a lot of canned openers and such have been developed specifically to disarm that suspicion. These usually do it by showing that you have some other agenda for asking a stranger on the street a question. A good way to practice might be to go downtown and walk around, stopping people and asking them if there is a post office nearby, or something like that. People will generally try to be helpful. It's not a great opener for pickup, but it might help you learn to deal with some AA by practicing approaches with innocuous questions like this. You should consider picking up a copy of Neil Strauss's book The Rules of the Game, which will walk you through exercises to help you deal with AA. You can get if for about $10 on amazon I think, and it's a worthwhile investment.
Author:  Sticksie [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 1:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I just cannot approach.
Quote:
I really can't do it. I mean, I think it's more than just AA, It's really really bad. I just got out of a 3 and a half year relationship, I'm devastated, and PUA seems to be my only hope. However, the act of going up and talking to a complete stranger seems absolutely crazy to me, not to mention rude. If I was going on about my business and some stranger walked up to me I would think it was really weird, not only that but I would automatically think that they have an agenda. Now, don't women think it's incredibly weird when a stranger walks up to them and just starts yapping? Don't they automatically think that you have an agenda? I just don't get how you can start talking to somebody you don't even know without some kind of reason like you work together or something. Help me understand because it seems like in order for this to work I'm going to have to start talking to complete strangers and it is completely against my nature.
I know something that will help with that its called EFT pm me and ill explain it if you want.
Author:  fox_theone [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 3:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
However, the act of going up and talking to a complete stranger seems absolutely crazy to me, not to mention rude.
Say you saw a branch about to fall on her? You would shout to her to get out of the way. That's rude? Yeah the situation is different. Why do you think that if you enter her life it would be a bad thing? What if you're the one thing she really needed in her life to make herself happy? Would you deny her that? Exactly.
Quote:
If I was going on about my business and some stranger walked up to me I would think it was really weird, not only that but I would automatically think that they have an agenda.
I think that's the real reason for your thoughts. What you gotta realise is that everyone thinks differently. What you think is unique because of the various things that have influenced you throughout your entire life. Everyone thinks differently and she may think differently as well.
Let's think about it. On the off chance that she hears you out and thinks this guy has an agenda. And after thinking for a while she says he must like me! Would she feel flattered or angry that she's attractive? That's right.
Now about this agenda. Let's imagine she is flattered but she has a shield to prevent tons of guys from trying to "pick her up". What would she say? Not what do you think she would say but what would she say? We don't know. We can guess that it will be an automatic response. The trick is to break down that automatic nature. Those great PUAs before us knew the secret and came up with openers. What an opener essentially does is at the point where the girl thinks "I wonder why this guy is going to talk to me?" it destroys her automatic response by giving her something to think about and respond to. Sound good? I tried to show you what I could in the hopes you'd grasp some of the theory.

Anyway if you really want to get over AA you gotta do some shit that you never thought you could do. Go around asking chicks to go home with you. Ask if you can have a sip of their drink when they're done. Just do shit that you're sure to get rejected for and have fun with it. After that going up to someone and saying hi will be the least of your troubles.
Author:  Tony Stonem [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:08 am ]
Post subject: 
Heres how you approach with out seeming like you have an "agenda": Be harmless (at first). Try an opener that is about something or someone other than her or yourself.

Such as:
(In a club)
jwilliams: "My friend thinks your cute! (no need for a real friend)"
HB: "Oh, why doesn't he say hi then?"
jwilliams: "He's kinda shy. Wanna dance?"

BAM! Done.

Be creative. You can also try getting over this issue by talking to strangers who you have no intention of closing. Even guys. Anyone really!

Try convincing a homeless man to give YOU a quarter!

Most important, if your still having trouble with this, the best solution is to have a friend who can and will push you do get over your AA.
Author:  V3nu [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 7:41 am ]
Post subject: 
I think the other guys gave you enough advice, plus you know you got out of a LTR, that will take some time for you to adjust to being a bachelor etc.

I just wanna add two things thou:

1. For starters just find an opener online that has been tested millions of times, w/e "who lies more", doesn't matter and just do it like 5 times and you will see that 4/5 people are actually friendly and will talk to you! That will bust your confidence a bit, but probably won't help you in the long run, when you run into rejections! So solution #2

2. Read Psycho-Cybernetics Maxwell Maltz, that book is like the bible of inner game for our era, if you apply the teaching you will change your belief system, right now you believe it is rude to approach a stranger but what if you believed that approaching a stranger is the most normal thing and there is no other way... imagine what are the possibilities are with that type of belief, all the women, all the adventurous, etc.... think about it

I myself actually started reading psycho cybernetics no more than a week ago and applying changes to my belief system, and let me tell you: HOLY FUCK!

And btw:
Quote:
Just cant approach: I hear you. Same here. I just cant. I want to but I cant. Im in community about two years without singel approach with "pickup" intent.

Anyways, your question about approaching strangers: its not weird if you have the right attitude/vibe and you bring value.
Dude you need to seek serious help, like that is not normal! You have major social anxiety, spend $50 and go to a psychologist it may change you or take a bootcamp, so someone can push you to do the first approach ... seriously man, that's not normal!
Author:  DentyP [ Sat Jul 24, 2010 5:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
I always had problems going up to strangers before. But
Last night i said fuck it and went out and talked to only groups of girls. I will tell you this, that whole thing of facing your fears is true. You just have to face them in the scariest way possible. That way anything else seems trivial. Convince yourself to sack up and to quit giving a fuck about what other people think and go for it. I had girls calling ky name out last night because they remembered me. Just go for the most uncomfortable moment so that nothing else will bother you.
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