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Getting back into the game.. lost my confidence in approach
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Author:  ReversalUk [ Sun Apr 04, 2010 11:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Getting back into the game.. lost my confidence in approach
Hi Guys,

I am getting back into the game after spliting up with my ex 4 months ago and getting no further with girls ever since.

I am going to a rave this Friday and I really want to get back into the Game and start approaching girls again. Its weird before I got with my ex I was beginning to really enjoy the game and approaching girls and had a few good experiences but now all of that nervousness has come back and I have to really build up courage to approach a girl..

Another thing is this Fri I am out with a mate of mine and also his very supposedly "Boyish, alpha male lads" and thats not me i'm more reserved yet quietly confident once i am talking to a girl initially.

Any advice for someone coming back into the Game and best ways to approach a girl at a rave would be brilliant.

Cheers
Author:  Energy_ [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 3:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey man!

Not a big "raver" myself, but dont make it a big deal to approach, just take it easy and enjoy yourself.

Dont overdoo anything. If you see something you like, just go:
"Hey, didnt I see you last week at the xxxx?"
"Im totally amazed with your shoes, where did you buy em?"
"Did you guys come here last year/weekend?"

Doesnt matter if you act like an AFC thís one night - just talk to people!
You'll find your game as you get more social.

Have fun, meet new friends and enjoy yourself.
Author:  dw3llz [ Tue Apr 06, 2010 3:37 am ]
Post subject: 
one thing i find that numbs my nerves when I walk in is walking up to the first person I see and asking how they're doing or something small like that. just talking to people will really open you up.
Author:  CaLib0i [ Tue Apr 06, 2010 5:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Hey man!

Not a big "raver" myself, but dont make it a big deal to approach, just take it easy and enjoy yourself.

Dont overdoo anything. If you see something you like, just go:
"Hey, didnt I see you last week at the xxxx?"
"Im totally amazed with your shoes, where did you buy em?"
"Did you guys come here last year/weekend?"

Doesnt matter if you act like an AFC thís one night - just talk to people!
You'll find your game as you get more social.

Have fun, meet new friends and enjoy yourself.
I agree with this one. If you can't talk to people, how are you going to be able to talk to girls.
Author:  thebigtone [ Tue Apr 06, 2010 5:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Ok so this is probably really AFCish but i have a plan for my next sarging session. I'm mega out of practice and just find it really difficult to talk to people i don't know properly but weirdly v.good at public speaking. So i've written an entire script that could last like way over an hour.
I have this script with bits i kind of want to say word for word, including a compliment near the start, a random game or 2, a bit of kino etc etc and i've written lots just to think about and go over in my head.
But to make it easier and not come across as scripted I have broken it down in to 15 points ie. 1. Ask about ELP, 2. Random Ninjas or pirates question. 3. Intro. This is just so I have 15 points running round in my head, even if I only use say 8 or 10 it will just stop me getting stuck for words. and i've got that theoretical 'bag of tools'
Obviously on each one I can elaborate and i've just gone over it a few times in my head and it is very important this doesnt sound scripted and no I won't be carrying my script with me. lol ;)
I feel more confident already because I have sarged before, on my last occasion picked up 4 numbers in 1 night which is GOOD for me and I also feel confident in that I know I wont run out of words.
Last time I went out I was worse than AFC, i stood next to this amazing girl at the bar and just couldn't bring myself to say anything! I just remember saying in my head, your an idiot! You gotta sort this out!
Finally grabbed my mate who is better at this stuff and we spoke to 2 girls together and mine was a complete fail, getting about as far as 'where are you going later?' 'I dont know'. 'You must have one idea....' IT WAS PAINFUL and ended up in me saying 'hey listen i'll catch you in a bit, i need the toilet'.
So this is my plan and i'm gonna give it a shot, each time I go out, i will vary the stuff on the list and I want to add a few games etc.
but i just feel like i have been reading this stuff for ages and have taken loads in but putting it all in the right place and using it when I need to is a lot harder than vaguely remembering some good advice I read once upon a time.
I'm confident with this and will let you know how it goes!

Still looking for a wing, i'm early 20s and live in central London!

Happy Sarging, remember they're only human!
Author:  ReversalUk [ Tue Apr 06, 2010 7:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cheers for the tips guys its appreciated. I bought "the rules of the game" yesterday and today I just randomly started talking to people and i got good responses.

Unfortunately I am in Birmingham otherwise id happily be a wing man for you :)
Author:  thebigtone [ Wed Apr 07, 2010 12:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Let us know what you try and how it goes.
Are you working your way through 'rules of the game'?
That sounds like a good start!
Weak willed I suppose myself so i feel like I need someone just as keen to run this stuff with.
Author:  ihaveabu [ Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
in the same boat as u m8. going mall/movies sarging tonight and this weekend. broke up with my ex a month ago. i was at the height of my game back when i met her 3 years ago, and just let myself go. lol

gonna try some basic cold approaches, maybe some socialengineering's standard "i think you're really cute and i just had to say hi" plus a time constraint.

need to grow my balls back asap. lol
Author:  Tigra [ Mon Apr 19, 2010 3:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I am in the same situation man. Its fairly difficult to get your head back on right.. I wish you the best of luck.

cheers :twisted:
Author:  cjfuss23 [ Thu Apr 22, 2010 6:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good luck man,

Just always remember that girls love confident guys. They can spot silly pick up lines and awkwardness from a mile away. Be sure to clean yourself up a bit also.
Author:  TheGoldGeneral [ Sun Apr 25, 2010 12:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Same situation too. Broke up with a 3 year open relationship.

Its amazing the kind of confidence already being in a relationship will give you when approaching other girls.

Most of my anxiety springs from the false belief that I need to go to bars to get back into the game, contrasted with the reality that I don't really like bars. I don't go there for fun, so if I go there just to pick up girls it makes me feel try hard and unrelated.

I've been hitting local bookstores, gym group classes, dancing classes, and other stuff to increase the amount of women I'm around and the opportunities I have to open women in situations where I am having fun regardless of their presence. I always find this helps a lot.

Anyway - just wanted to say I feel your pain man. Stick it out, just like I am!
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