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| Set looses interest and field seems tough to play https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=59384 |
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| Author: | theizz [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 8:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | Set looses interest and field seems tough to play |
So today was my second day in field as a pua. I've opened 12 sets so far, and what I've noticed is that I'll get most sets interested in my opener, and the targets usually show some IOIs (playing with hair, laughing, touching my arm), but then after about 4-8 minutes of talking to them they either turn around and ignore me or just wander off. I drop a time constraint about 50% of the time, and a neg about 50% of the time, mostly because I keep forgetting to do it. I've tried completely ignoring the target and I also tried complimenting her when she says something I like (i.e. I told a girl tonight that I don't often meet cool girls that like this band she's into). The other issue I'm having is that the field seems too difficult to play many times. i.e.: either its too loud, the bars mostly empty, or most of the sets are seated at the bar and then I have to run the set standing up. So I don't know. I'm getting discouraged. I mean I know I've only been doing it 2 days now, but its really annoying. Did anyone else have this issue when they started? If so, what was the solution? |
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| Author: | sinsitive [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 11:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Well sarge at different locations. You're obviously not 100% convy with the location so try for other bars/clubs where you feel great. Also keep doing doing doing it. The fact you opened about 12 sets is great. Did you see improvement? After 5-6 min when they're still interested isolate your target. Then instead of just DHV-ing and negging a bit, try building some comfort. You'll have a whole new scala of routines and stuff to work on from then. Good luck! |
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| Author: | theizz [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 6:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Well sarge at different locations. You're obviously not 100% convy with the location so try for other bars/clubs where you feel great.
Well I have tried several bars. Sometimes I'll walk in, it doesn't look good, and I'll walk right out. It seems especially tough on a Sunday or Monday night because there aren't a lot of people out and most of the people are seated. Also, it feels a little weird to open a set when they look like they're in the middle of something (i.e.: a guy and girl are kinoing eachother, or a group of people are cracking up and having a good time). Should I still try to open sets like these?Also keep doing doing doing it. The fact you opened about 12 sets is great. Did you see improvement? After 5-6 min when they're still interested isolate your target. Then instead of just DHV-ing and negging a bit, try building some comfort. You'll have a whole new scala of routines and stuff to work on from then. Good luck! I did see some improvement. My first set was awful. I got this horrible look and the girl refused to answer my question. I wanted to go home and give up. But I pushed through, and the next 2 sets were better. They responded to my opener, but didn't show any IOIs. Then most of the sets after started showing IOIs, but then I'd loose them. I also opened this one set to a group of girls (kind of fat, but I figured I'd practice) and then their gigantic boyfriends popped in and started starting me down. I tried to pull them into the set, but they just acted like they were pissed and while I was paying attention to them the girls got distracted and lost interest. What do you do if this happens? |
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| Author: | nofear [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 7:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Well I have tried several bars. Sometimes I'll walk in, it doesn't look good, and I'll walk right out. It seems especially tough on a Sunday or Monday night because there aren't a lot of people out and most of the people are seated. Also, it feels a little weird to open a set when they look like they're in the middle of something (i.e.: a guy and girl are kinoing eachother, or a group of people are cracking up and having a good time). Should I still try to open sets like these?
I open sets like these by matching their energy level, and usually if they're already having fun they're more likely to engage you provided that you come in matching their energy. And the more close they look with each other, the more indirect I'll approach. An indirect line that works for me about 90% of the time is somethign to the effect of "Hey excuse me, do you know if this bar has something going on like [this] every [today's day] or is this just today". And if my energy and frame is right, they'll usually reply with something like "no this is every day" or "we don't know, this is our first time here" and then it's amazing how they'll try to keep me in the set!! They'll start asking me questions like where I'm from, and what's my name, etc. When it works, it works like a charm and I'm running the set, isolate my target, etc.. And when it doesn't work, I exit and they just think I was some new dude trying to get questions answered about the venue. So I wouldn't be afraid to approach such sets, just as long as your frame and your energy level matches or exceeds theirs.Quote: I did see some improvement. My first set was awful. I got this horrible look and the girl refused to answer my question.
This is probably because she detected that you were gaming her. I rarely get horrible looks because it's all in the frame when you approach. You have to make sure you approach at an angle and lean as if though you have somewhere else to go, and like the set is your guest at your house or something and you're stopping by to check on them but, this way they see you as exiting yourself and won't give you any bad looks. And you also have to display alot of confidence. When I approach, my bodylanguage and attitude is that of someone very important, very confident, very sure of himself, while at the same time very friendly and fun. Quote: But I pushed through, and the next 2 sets were better. They responded to my opener, but didn't show any IOIs. Then most of the sets after started showing IOIs, but then I'd loose them.
What I do is when I get to a high point in a set where I'm getting alot of IOI, I'll do 1 of 3 things to avoid loosing the set, I'll either 1) Invite the set to let me introduce them to some friends and then walk them over to my friends, I've been gaming now for about 5 months, and to this day I have yet to have a girl say no to this, 100% of the time they will walk across the room with me to be introduced to some friends. This could be actual friends that I know who are there at the venue, or it could be a previous set that I opened earlier. 2) Tell the set that I'm going to go chat with some friends and that I'll catch them in a little bit. This way I exit myself without seeming needy, and leave on a high note, so when I return, the set is much more warmed up to me. It also gives me the opportunity to have ready-made "friends" to merge later with other sets. 3) Isolate my target. If the set is away from the bar, I'll invite my target to walk me to the bar and grab a drink with me where while waiting for a drink I'll DHV and build attraction and then when I get my drink I'll get her into a comfort location. If the set is at the bar, I'll position myself inbetween my target and the rest of the set (isolating target) and pretend to ignore the set (exiting the set) by putting all of my focus into the bartender to order a drink. I also use this as a test because if I have enough attraction with the target, she won't move. If not, she'll move and merge on the other side with her friends and then start talking with them. At which point it won't matter because I would have already exited myself in a way and then can come back later if I want. But usually the target will stay put and when she does, I'll start DHVing her with my back to her friends and then once my drink comes I'll isolate her to a comfort location. There are much more dynamics involved with this, but this is the basic point. Basically, I never keep goign when I have a high point, because at some point things will level off and they lose you. And for me, it feels kinda DLV AFCish to stay there in A1 and A2 gaming them even at a high. Quote: I also opened this one set to a group of girls (kind of fat, but I figured I'd practice) and then their gigantic boyfriends popped in and started starting me down. I tried to pull them into the set, but they just acted like they were pissed and while I was paying attention to them the girls got distracted and lost interest. What do you do if this happens? Basically you have to exit and move on. The guys were being very territorial and the girls picked up on it and showed IODs as a way to behave in front of their less-than-happy male friends. It's not that they didn't like you, but they didn't want to piss off their friends by showing you any further interest. But let's say for example your target is a HB9 and she's with a guy like that, chances are he's not going to want somebody else gaming her. If you go out with an HB9 that you're trying to get with, would you let another dude come in, kino her, isolate her, build comfort with her, get her number, k-close, etc? Probably not!!! When I run into those situations, I give it about 30-60 seconds of friendly chat to guage the guys, like are they territorial and protective? do they care? did they just meet, did they come together? etc, to see how far I can go. Once I determine it's not going anywhere, I exit leaving on a highnote with the girls while I'm still getting IOI, because you never know, you may see those girls again when they're by themselves and you'll want them to feel comfortable opening up to you again as opposed to being uncomfortable opening up to you knowing that they basically dissed you infront of their male friends. Also it's DLV to be pressured out of a set by unfriendly males, because it makes you look weak. You have to exit on a high note to appear cooler than them and like you have other more important things to tend to as opposed to trying unsuccessfully winning over dudes, which is probably why the girls lost interest in you. |
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| Author: | theizz [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for the tips, fellow PUAs. I just noticed another thing today. I was in a shopping mall and this really cute girl opened me. I used good body language and tried to keep things rolling, but I have a real issue coming up with negs on the spot. She was telling me that she's having a bad year because she crashed her new car. It was a perfect set up for me, and she was asking to be picked up, but I had no idea where to go with it. I feel like there is this mental block I need to get over to release my inner game. I've used inner game very naturally before becoming a PUA a couple times, and it really worked (like extremely well). But I can't consistently do it (its actually very rare for me). When I'm trying to think of negs and openers and stories, it all seems very forced and fake. I wish it would just be natural. |
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