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| Getting negative vibes from opening https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=30373 |
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| Author: | gman949 [ Sat Oct 18, 2008 9:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Getting negative vibes from opening |
I'm fairly new to this. Lately, I've been trying to get comfortable at approaching women during the day. My plan is to get comfortable at approaching mediocre looking women (not ugly, but women that are rather plain looking) and then start building from there. Ok, here's the problem. When I approach these types of women, most of them seem put off by the situation. I've tried several openers. Some examples are: (approaching women at the metro station while waiting for my train) me: hey, do you happen to have the time? her: (gives time) me: I'm just kidding, I just came over here to flirt with you or "Hi, I only have a minute but I just wanted to tell you that you seem like a friendly person and someone I'd like to get to know. Are you single?" The response I get usually get varies. Some seem to think I'm just joking around with them and I'm not serious. Most just seem really defensive like I'm intruding upon them. Keep in mind that I'm being friendly and genuine. I know body language, tonality and appearing confident are critical in approaching and opening. I don't think I have a problem in this area especially when approaching women I wouldn't even consider dating. I think my appearance may have something to do with it. I'm not a model type by any means, but I admit my looks have opened some doors for me in the dating area. My intuition tells me that mediocre looking women rarely get hit on by men and so they don't know how to react or "play along". Any advice how to deal with this problem? |
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| Author: | Roy Hobbs [ Sun Oct 19, 2008 12:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I must advise to not use direct openers until you have some experience under your belt as a PUA. You have to have a lot going for you for them to work. That's the purpose of indirect game. To showcase your value before the close that they wouldn't have otherwise known existed. Direct opening passes all of those steps so she'd need to already know your value for it to work. She could get this from great body language and great looks. If you have flaws in body language or don't have confidence in your looks, then those things will be held against you in the court of women when that's all you're allowing her to judge you on. Try using opinion openers, gman. Don't show your interest in her until she shows it first. |
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| Author: | YeahYou [ Sun Oct 19, 2008 3:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
1st one's textbook, not sure about the 2nd one, asking her if she's single is basically forcing her to say no. i wouldnt ask, if your 'the shit' she Will be single. |
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| Author: | gman949 [ Sun Oct 19, 2008 10:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for the comments. I've never opened with an opinion opener but I see the value of it. I hesitate with using opinion openers because it just seems that the target would already know that they were being hit on (although not as directly). IMO, most attractive females who get hit on 10-20 times a day pretty much know that some random guy who comes up to talk to them no matter what they say is showing some signs of interest. |
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| Author: | kasabi [ Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Getting negative vibes from opening |
You ought to write some of your openers down. Here's what I think: Quote:
me: hey, do you happen to have the time?
No, you're not kidding. "Actually" you REALLY DID come over here to flirt with her. "Kidding" takes emphasis away from your intentions and makes you sound more like a joker. And before you drop your "cute bomb", build more rapport. Don't be in such a rush to get your "groove" going. She KNOWS you came to flirt. They can all sense it. Just keep that tension/mystery going for just a few more seconds . . That's all it takes. Dropping the "flirt" directly after a girl telling you "Quarter past 2"sounds rushed, premeditated, and unnatural.her: (gives time) me: I'm just kidding, I just came over here to flirt with you Quote: "Hi, I only have a minute but I just wanted to tell you that you seem like a friendly person and someone I'd like to get to know. Are you single?"
Women want to feel special. They want to be approached by "special" people. This is why the better CANNED openers sound somewhat original to the people who have never heard them. The problem with your opener above is that it can be used by ANYBODY for ANY WOMAN at ANY TIME. Comes off as corny and dishonest . . .
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