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Girl Looking/Smiling at You - Openers?
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Author:  Chance99 [ Thu Mar 15, 2007 7:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Girl Looking/Smiling at You - Openers?

So a situation I sometimes come across is when a girl is looking over my way (corner of eye type thing) and sometimes even giving me little smiles.

My thinking is that in situations like these where we already have a bit of an edge, there should be a better opener (perhaps situational to her looking/smiling at you) that would work better than starting from scratch (i.e., canned opinion opener).

What do you guys think? Any thoughts on openers that can take advantage of the "her looking/smiling at you" situation?

Chance

Author:  Bourbon Jockey [ Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

There should be. You might even consider it an IOI.
But I don't see why an opinion opener is out the question. It would only seem fair that since she's started the "something" between you, you would want to ask her opinion about something.

Author:  JaK [ Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:21 pm ]
Post subject: 

In a funny way getting this IOI can actually make your job a little more difficult b/c, if the girl is really cute, you might freeze up or start over-thinking things. Plus, you might also feel like the "element of surprise" is gone re: your approach (if she has been looking at you she'll obviously see you coming).

But this is all just in your head.

I used to always freeze up but now when faced with that situation I do one of the following*:

1) High Risk Move - Approach and say with a smile "This is stupid. I've been standing over there with my idiot friends for the past 15 minutes when I could have been over here flirting/having fun/etc. with you." Then, quickly say "But seriously, I have a question...." and then go right into one of your routines. I say this is "high risk" because it pretty much tips your hand right away, but the way you immediately switch gears into a routine helps to mitigate the agressive opener.

2) Lower Risk - Approach her like you didn't notice she was looking at you and dive right into you usual routine(s). BUT FIGHT THE KNOWLEDGE THAT SHE WAS SMILING AT YOU - your thoughts will betray you and you'll end up giving off an awkward/funny vibe. Easier said than done, I know. In fact, I prefer #1 b/c if she has been checking me out for a little while and I have been (likely) over-thinking things, I need to say/do something radical to snap that thought process.

*Not to say I still don't occasionally freeze up. For example, last summer in Mexico this BEAUTIFUL girl was vibing me all night at the club but the combination of being (drunk) + (unnerved that this hot girl was vibing me) short-circuited my decision-making skills. That night still irks me when I think about it. Instead of hitting on this 9 who was obviously interested, I wasted the evening hitting on this 7.5 from California who was a reverse-player.

Author:  Nikthegreek [ Sat Mar 17, 2007 4:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Try this one

If you catch a girl checking you out, start counting the times on your hand i.e. a finger everytime she checks you out, and make it obvious you have clocked on to her doing it. By the time you hit 3/4 fingers look over at her, smile and shake your head, as if to imply that you can't believe shes stalking you in such an obvious way. She will feel obliged to approach you at some stage, due to yourself having the moral high on the non verbal interaction. Trust me lads its worked a few times, have at it!

Author:  JaK [ Sat Mar 17, 2007 8:00 pm ]
Post subject: 

Nik's idea is good if you have the discipline/patience to wait her out. Which I don't have :twisted:

Author:  Plastic Man [ Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Just an idea

I've got an idea for this, it hasn't been field tested though, so I'm really curious how it would work.

So here it is. While the girl is checking you out give her a few minutes to do it. After she's checked out a few times catch her in the act with eye contact, she'll either do the nervous look away or she'll hold eye contact. Don't break for a second and turn and start walking towards her. Once you've started moving you can break eye contact and look at her friends. This will only work with friends.

So show up with the element of suprise and a neg.

If there are guys in the group, talk to them first. Otherwise just talk to her friends first.

"Hey, I'm trying to figure out what to do and I'd like an outside opinion. If there's a girl checking you out from across the room and your not sure if she's your type, do you approach or do you just forget about it unless she takes some initiative? (Something like this)"

She'll know you caught her and that the conversation that your having with her friends is about her. They shouldn't know so you can use the topic to open the group, establish some social proof, and neg her. Guys might ask you if she's hot or different things about said girl, this is a good opportunity to neg her.

This seems like it's an appropiate opinion opener that could get the girls talking, and then you get to ask questions like should a girl hit on a guy or is it a guys responsibility. blahblahblah. there's lots of places you could take this especially with girls and guys roles.

It's also pretty honest and forward which should make you look bold and yet your disinterest is woven into the question.

If the general consesus of the group is that it's the girls responsibility to hit on you, thank them, say you have to get going back to your friends, and just before you leave, the last thing you do can be to smile and nod at the girl, as though the ball is in her court.

She may never approach you but if she was interested in the first place, each moment that passes she will be considering whether or not she should. You can talk to her again later and she'll be pumped to have you back.

Author:  Chase [ Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:16 am ]
Post subject: 

Chance I love that...I think that is actually a fantastic opener, specially when out with guy friends.. I'm thinking of..."Hey, my friends and I are trying to figure out something. If there's a girl checking you out from across the room and your not sure if she's your type, do you approach or do you just forget about it unless she takes some initiative?"

Author:  Plastic Man [ Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

I like that. Sounds better.

Author:  Romeo7 [ Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:12 am ]
Post subject:  Suggestion, lil tip at the end

I like the idea, very much
This is my brief suggestion (along with keeping the eye contact all the way to the table and talk to the friends first)
"Hey, my friend and I were trying to figure out something, and we need a girls perspective (if all girls)/ some outside perspective (if with guys), if a girl is checking you out, and you're not sure what to expect, should you approach? or should you just wait for her to come by? (a little kino or innocent eye contact with the girl will tremendously raise Sexual Tension up, as if saying, "I got you") and then follow along like the guys above said
Cheers guys, great idea

Author:  Chance99 [ Thu Mar 22, 2007 3:20 am ]
Post subject: 

Awesome suggestions.

Jameson, great opener. I actually can see this working even if the girl is on her own. Basically, you're blatantly implying that she was checking you out, without literally saying it. Can make for a fun conversation.

Author:  BlurZ28 [ Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:18 am ]
Post subject:  quick and easy

Say something like this:

"So I can't believe I've been here for ten minutes and you still haven't bought me a drink. Are you always this shy?"

It's golden, field tested.

Author:  Victor Malvado [ Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:49 am ]
Post subject: 

The reply from Chase is excellent.

The reply from Blur is also excellent.

My favorite for this situation "If you are going to look at me like that, you can also talk to me"

VM :arrow:

Author:  thrill [ Sat Apr 28, 2007 1:35 am ]
Post subject:  try this

PUA: Are you shy?
HB: (smile, giggle) No.
PUA: Well, I've been standing here for 5 minutes and you haven't approached me yet.
HB: (laugh) blah, blah, blah
PUA: routine (proceed to sweep her off her feet)

This one is a big hit with groups of girls as well. They don't need to have been checking you out, but it helps if they've seen you already.

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