Understanding approach anxiety



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PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:47 am 
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Most common problem among aspiring men who want to get good with women is approach anxiety.

If asked what does it mean, then a common reply would be, that they have fear to go and approach a random woman.

Well not many has probed deeper into the real fear.

The real fear is not act of approaching, but what happens after the act of approach.

In fact most of the people who believe that they can’t approach, actually can approach easily without any anxiety.

I will prove it to you.

If I give lets say 1000 dollar bill to a man and tell him that if he approaches a pretty looking random woman irrespective of the outcome, then 1000 dollar will belong to him, what do you think will he approach the woman?

Most likely yes.

Why this man is easily able to approach?

Because ego has been validated with a positive outcome and the positive outcome being the incentive of 1000 dollars. How the woman react is not a deciding factor of an outcome, hence question of embarrassment does not even arise.

In the above case ego will only get hurt on not earning the 1000 dollar and it has nothing to do with the woman.

That is why, this idea of giving a wingman 100 dollars and then tearing it, if the man does not approach, does not work.

The man will approach out the fear of losing the money, in which case again ego will be validated just by the act of approaching. How the woman responds won’t matter at all.

This applies to a Pick up artist coach also. He takes out few students who have rarely approach a random woman. He personally approaches few random women with different outcomes. Now for the student it is a big deal what a pick up artist coach is doing and so he applauds the coach.
But the coach is being incentivised and so the positive outcome which his ego is looking for is just the act of approaching.

But for the student it is scary, you know why?

For students they are risking embarrassment that will be potentially caused to ego. And this potential embarrassment will depend on the outcome of how the woman respond.

As Johnny Soporno puts it “The only task your ego has is to avoid failure and stop you doing things that can cause embarrassment”.

The only way out of this, is to understand internally that approaching women with risking embarrassment is good in the long run and the only way to learn..


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 22, 2017 9:42 pm 
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Solid advice. Infact the more you approach the more easier it becomes. However, I fully believe it's like a muscle you got to continuously work it everyday, whether it be at a gas station, Walmart, and etc. Just approach and don't just approach lone women. Approach groups... get use to socializing in general. Just don't forget the best question for all groups.... "So how do you all know eachother?"


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 8:23 am 
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Yes it is a muscle, very well put..


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2017 7:10 am 
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Strong exhortation. Infact the more you approach the more less demanding it moves toward becoming. Be that as it may, I completely trust it resembles a muscle you got to persistently work it ordinary, regardless of whether it be at a service station, Walmart, Essay Writing Company and so forth. Simply approach and don't simply approach solitary ladies. Approach gatherings... inspire use to associating by and large. Simply keep in mind the best inquiry for all groups.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:40 pm 
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I'd like to add one way to help with approaching women is to approach random people whether its ; guys , families, girls etc. Start approaching and sparking up random conversations and have some positive short interactions.

This will build confidence that you can talk to anyone any time and anywhere. After a few of these you will get amped and be able to approach a girl a lot easier because of the positive interactions you had prior. It's like a warm up basically and not giving a shit if a old lady rejects you or some random person. I mean would you get mad if you strike up a conversation about watermelons on sale with some old lady and she was like fuck off? I know I wouldn't same thing here applies.

So when you are out on your daily - whether it be getting gas , stopping to return a red box, going to the grocery store, or perhaps just walking the street. Start talking to people and learn to be a conversationalist.


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 Post subject: susu
PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 6:47 am 
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Thank you for providing this great and interesting topic information. I will regularly update your next post.
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 9:24 am 
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Bulk texting has a huge amount of perks. First of all, text messages are more discrete than telephonic conversations, which makes it the perfect form of communication especially when you do not want any disturbance.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2019 5:28 am 
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2019 10:27 pm 
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So approaching women more often makes it easier. I can only imagine this being the case if the reaction gets more positive. If you're approaching women and they act uninterested or negatively everytime then I can't imagine approach anxiety lessening.

The other sad thing is, without someone watching you and then explaining what you did wrong, 'cause often I've had no clue what it was. Then you can't eliminate the things you do that put women off either.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2019 4:08 pm 
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Approach anxiety is all in your head. Men are not born with an innate fear to talk to women. It is instilled in them through childhood, media, and experiences. Because you want to improve your dating life you can naturally notice the top 100 places to meet women in 2019 => https://bit.ly/2FuX1uq


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