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No, short and to the point is exactly what you need. Why? Because you're lacking brevity in your game, and you're over-complicating things.
You're doing some things right. But the thing you're doing wrong? Not getting to the point.
Hand-holding is for bf/gf. It's weak and passive seduction to do that before the kiss, and shows inexperience. There aren't 18 different layers and steps before you kiss a girl. You view it as a complicated land mine maze, because you are terrified of rejection.
Jesus Christ, Arch.
Getting to the point is exactly what this guy describes. He escalates right of the bat and makes his intentions crystal clear. His entire routine can literally be done in a matter of minutes and you're telling him "short and to the point" is what he needs?
Also how is his approach complicating things in any way? He literally tells her exactly what's going on. In the simplest possible way.
Not even gonna mention the hand-holding. If she's not comfortable holding your hand, she's not comfortable having your tongue shoved down her throat. That's just common sense.
But hey, why even bother talking to her in the first place? That's weak and passive seduction. Just hit her over the head with your club and drag her back to your cave. She can't reject you if she's unconscious.
Anyway, @OP, it's not a wrong way of doing it. I agree with Jack in that results are what matter. As a pointer though, it needs to fit your style. I rarely tell girls I like them, but I do accuse them of liking me. Obviously it needs to come from a place of confidence, and needs to be said as if stating a fact. A playful challenge. Your formulation makes it very easy to be interpreted as fishing for compliments/permission, if your delivery is not on point.