PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

I am afraid of being direct for no reason
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=193430		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Ambit1oN [ Tue Oct 20, 2015 12:36 am ]
Post subject:  I am afraid of being direct for no reason
Il try to skip through the introduction bullshit and get straight to my problem. Basically I have trouble telling a girl she's cute and basically being very direct. I know its bullshit and I should let her know since the beginning I like her but I just have trouble doing it.
Anything that could help me get more direct?
If anyone had same problem share your experiences and what did you do to fix it.
Thanks in advance
Author:  Style981 [ Tue Oct 20, 2015 6:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I am afraid of being direct for no reason
Sorry if it sounds stupid but only solution I can think of is to actually do it.

You'll have to get out of your comfort zone for once at least and if that gives you a positive reaction then things will be easy for you afterwards. If it doesn't give a positive reaction, you'll have to get out of your comfort zone again. And repeat till you get used to it.

The first time is the most difficult though. Personally that worked for me, just "tried it anyway" one day and after that it was fine.
Author:  JackZero [ Tue Oct 20, 2015 6:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I am afraid of being direct for no reason
Quote:
Sorry if it sounds stupid but only solution I can think of is to actually do it.

You'll have to get out of your comfort zone for once at least and if that gives you a positive reaction then things will be easy for you afterwards. If it doesn't give a positive reaction, you'll have to get out of your comfort zone again. And repeat till you get used to it.

The first time is the most difficult though. Personally that worked for me, just "tried it anyway" one day and after that it was fine.
This.

When you are direct, the most common fear is that she won't accept it and walk away. Don't be afraid of her walking away because there will always be another one.
Author:  Dragula [ Tue Oct 20, 2015 7:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I am afraid of being direct for no reason
I can relate. I struggled with this very much. When I was in school, if a girl knew that I liked her, I would feel like I've been rumbled and feel really destructive

so I tried being indirect and then only go direct when I know she was into me. It worked but wasn't that efficient but I was comfortable with girls at that point and then tried direct sober in the daytime and then things kinda changed for me.

So:
• jump in the deep end and go direct (more rejection but more dates)
Or
• go in the shallow end with indirect and gradually get deeper. (Less rejection but less dates)

If you're not approaching which I get the feeling you're not, then it's a waste of time.
Author:  Ambit1oN [ Tue Oct 20, 2015 2:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I am afraid of being direct for no reason
Quote:
I can relate. I struggled with this very much. When I was in school, if a girl knew that I liked her, I would feel like I've been rumbled and feel really destructive

so I tried being indirect and then only go direct when I know she was into me. It worked but wasn't that efficient but I was comfortable with girls at that point and then tried direct sober in the daytime and then things kinda changed for me.

So:
• jump in the deep end and go direct (more rejection but more dates)
Or
• go in the shallow end with indirect and gradually get deeper. (Less rejection but less dates)

If you're not approaching which I get the feeling you're not, then it's a waste of time.
I started approaching everyday 3 days ago and Iv beeb slowly progressing. If force myself to do it everyday and
started keeping a daily journal with my progress and experiences.

Thanks for the advice guys, il try improving even if it seems hard at this point.
Il just try it and hopefully il get over it.
Author:  SpiritualGangster [ Sat Oct 24, 2015 2:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I am afraid of being direct for no reason
As a newbie I personally hate doing direct approaches, and I think its a bad idea especially for all newbies.

You're immediately putting her on a pedastal, and she has to make an almost immediate decision if she wants you or not, and you just don't have the confidence with women yet to back it up
Author:  GenesisPUA [ Sat Oct 24, 2015 2:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I am afraid of being direct for no reason
Me: Hi :) , I saw you coming from over there, and I thought you are cute so I would stop and say hello to you.

I have been using this opener lately on campus on hot girls, and I usually get a warm smile from them which usually continues in a good conversation. There are times when a hot girl is with her friend and I deliver this opener, the friend goes like "wow!!!".

I find going direct helps my game and I seem more genuine. Get comfortable with it. I personally would go straight forward and not bit around the bush.
Author:  ChocolatePUA [ Sat Oct 24, 2015 5:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I am afraid of being direct for no reason
You don''t HAVE to go direct.

You simply have to display your intentions. This doesn't have to be words, but can easily be through body language, tonality, etc. Or you can go indirect and express your intentions later.
Author:  Black Phantom [ Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I am afraid of being direct for no reason
Quote:
Il try to skip through the introduction bullshit and get straight to my problem. Basically I have trouble telling a girl she's cute and basically being very direct. I know its bullshit and I should let her know since the beginning I like her but I just have trouble doing it.
Anything that could help me get more direct?
If anyone had same problem share your experiences and what did you do to fix it.
Thanks in advance
Yo man,

you know, walking up to women and approaching them can be SCARY.

Why?

Primarely, we guys HATE rejection. Not dislike, we HATE it.

We hate rejection so much, that we would rather spend nights and days being alone, allow YEARS
of our life to pass us by, rather than risk getting rejected by a girl.

We don't want to EXPOSE ourselves, and experience PAIN connected to it.

That's OK. That's normal. That's just the way we guys are.

However, a big part of your becoming good with women is in you being WILLING to
expose yourself to rejection and FAIL.

Yep.

There are ways to make it easier for yourself, of course, and I can show you ways
to deal with your fear of rejection if you pm me, but you need to understand that
it all starts with you being willing to fail.

Look at it this way. If you fail 10 times, you will get these lessons:

> Learn 10 different ways of how NOT to do it
> Get used to the idea of failing so it won't affect you anymore
> You'll have a clearer idea of HOW to do it so a girl doesn't reject you

Make sense?

You won't learn these lessons any other way my man.

All people from history who ever did anything great were people who were willing to FAIL.

Be one of those great people. Be willing to fail. Go out, talk to women, open them direct, EXPOSE
yourself full blown and you will get STRONGER.

In a WEEK from now you will have so much more knowledge about how to talk to girls that will
be worth MORE than if you read 100 books on dating women.

I guarantee you that.

So the ball is up to you. Be the one of the average, or rise to greatness,

Hope this helps,
Author:  DrewDating [ Wed Oct 28, 2015 7:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I am afraid of being direct for no reason
Quote:
Il try to skip through the introduction bullshit and get straight to my problem. Basically I have trouble telling a girl she's cute and basically being very direct. I know its bullshit and I should let her know since the beginning I like her but I just have trouble doing it.
Anything that could help me get more direct?
If anyone had same problem share your experiences and what did you do to fix it.
Thanks in advance
i believe direct game sucks compared to indirect game
HOWEVER!
definitely work on direct openers and start doing direct drills (see if you can kiss her within the first 5 minutes of meeting her)

since you're not use to being direct, this will help balance things out for you. get you out of your shell.
Author:  oceanx [ Thu Oct 29, 2015 7:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I am afraid of being direct for no reason
Quote:
You don''t HAVE to go direct.

You simply have to display your intentions. This doesn't have to be words, but can easily be through body language, tonality, etc.
THANK YOU Chocolate.

The girls are not stupid and when you go elegant with a smooth convo about whatever while behaving as though she is already your g/f, she picks up on the vibe IMMEDIATELY, many times even before you open your mouth.

Proper "indirect" game is anything BUT indirect which is why "indirect" is a highly unfortunate term.

I'm not saying "direct" doesn't get guys laid all day every day, but WHO FUCKING CARES IF THE GIRL IS CUTE. To me, "direct" is so logical and non-mysterious. There's no misdirection. There's no intrigue. Although it can definitely come in handy in a rush or a tight circumstance.
Author:  ShoneBelgrade [ Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I am afraid of being direct for no reason
I used to have the same problem and solution was within my female friends and colleagues. On a daily basis a was practicing to be direct for everything i.e. "Yes,i think u have nice smile" or "Why not?(when they speak about something) you are very attractive women" . I realized that this killed my anxiety when i have to be direct to the females that i just met. Just practice with someone close until that becomes usual stuff for you.
That helped me and hope it can help you too :wink:
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/