PUA Forum :: Eye opening weekend - really need your help

tl;dr I need to get better at approaching and suck at it. Please help.

Hi guys. I've been a lurker of the PUA forums. Ive gained alot from some of the principles and really appreciate the idea of working to become a "better me." I've gone to the gym consistently, improved my ability to communicate, improved my self-confidence, and have begun working on my fashion. i still feel that I am a work in progress but feel much better about myself.

However, I write this post today because I had an incredibly eye-opening experience of failure. I went to the club with my friends with the intent to hang out, not necessarily pick up girls although it was on the backburner. One of my friends is a PUA, claiming to have been with at least 50 women. This is important because this event involves him.

So we are at the club and just having some fun dancing and hanging out, drinking. My PUA friend seems to have a very strong social circle in the club, developed from focusing on PUA and living close to the area. He seemed to know quite a few people there. He is able to casually start conversations with women and is a great opener. His club game seems to consist of grabbing girls and pulling them close to dance/talk and give the occasional twirl. Seemingly standard PUA game.

So the PUA picks up a very attractive girl. He is talking with her, doing the twirl, etc. But she chooses to talk to me (asking my name, profession, etc). I honestly dont think my conversation game was good here but she gave so many IOIs it was crazy (leaning in to talk to me, pressing her body up against me, grabbing my hand whenever I was there, moving close to me, laughing at my terrible jokes, touching me). I knew she was really into me because my club game is terrible/non existent lol (I dont hang out in clubs at all).

My PUA friend is having none of it though. He gets pissed at the fact that she is giving me IOIs and asks me to leave so he can dance with her. I think bro code (he opened her, he gets a first shot), excuse myself saying Im getting a drink and hang out with my other friends. I can tell she was much more into me however since she looked sad by the fact that I was leaving and whenever we ran into each other again, she would immediately grab my hand. In the end though, I left with me friends and she left with my PUA friend.

As kind of disappointed as I am about my friend (he apparently currently seeing a girl and is probably going to leave this as a one night stand while I thought she was genuinely interesting and we had alot in common), Im more disappointed in myself by the fact that I can't open sets at all. If I did, I could have gone home with this girl and something could have happened. I had asked my PUA friend in the past to give me some tips but he remains vague. I would really appreciate some advice or ideally, a PUA or wingman in Tokyo who is willing to take me under his wing.

Author:	WAMaroon [ Sat Feb 21, 2015 9:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Eye opening weekend - really need your help
tl;dr I need to get better at approaching and suck at it. Please help. Hi guys. I've been a lurker of the PUA forums. Ive gained alot from some of the principles and really appreciate the idea of working to become a "better me." I've gone to the gym consistently, improved my ability to communicate, improved my self-confidence, and have begun working on my fashion. i still feel that I am a work in progress but feel much better about myself. However, I write this post today because I had an incredibly eye-opening experience of failure. I went to the club with my friends with the intent to hang out, not necessarily pick up girls although it was on the backburner. One of my friends is a PUA, claiming to have been with at least 50 women. This is important because this event involves him. So we are at the club and just having some fun dancing and hanging out, drinking. My PUA friend seems to have a very strong social circle in the club, developed from focusing on PUA and living close to the area. He seemed to know quite a few people there. He is able to casually start conversations with women and is a great opener. His club game seems to consist of grabbing girls and pulling them close to dance/talk and give the occasional twirl. Seemingly standard PUA game. So the PUA picks up a very attractive girl. He is talking with her, doing the twirl, etc. But she chooses to talk to me (asking my name, profession, etc). I honestly dont think my conversation game was good here but she gave so many IOIs it was crazy (leaning in to talk to me, pressing her body up against me, grabbing my hand whenever I was there, moving close to me, laughing at my terrible jokes, touching me). I knew she was really into me because my club game is terrible/non existent lol (I dont hang out in clubs at all). My PUA friend is having none of it though. He gets pissed at the fact that she is giving me IOIs and asks me to leave so he can dance with her. I think bro code (he opened her, he gets a first shot), excuse myself saying Im getting a drink and hang out with my other friends. I can tell she was much more into me however since she looked sad by the fact that I was leaving and whenever we ran into each other again, she would immediately grab my hand. In the end though, I left with me friends and she left with my PUA friend. As kind of disappointed as I am about my friend (he apparently currently seeing a girl and is probably going to leave this as a one night stand while I thought she was genuinely interesting and we had alot in common), Im more disappointed in myself by the fact that I can't open sets at all. If I did, I could have gone home with this girl and something could have happened. I had asked my PUA friend in the past to give me some tips but he remains vague. I would really appreciate some advice or ideally, a PUA or wingman in Tokyo who is willing to take me under his wing.

Author:	WillEdward [ Wed Feb 25, 2015 11:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Eye opening weekend - really need your help
That situation can happen bro. You have to set rules with your wing when you go out. Generally the standard rule is that whoever opens the set, owns the set, so if you guys agreed on that then that's all you can do in that case. You could use her as social proof and preselection when you open girls around when's nearby and introduce them.

Author:	WAMaroon [ Sat May 23, 2015 9:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Eye opening weekend - really need your help
Thanks. The intention wasnt to pick up initially since my friend's brother was in town and we were hanging out so we didnt agree to any ground rules. I did assume that whoever opened controlled the set so thought I shouldnt go for it. More it just made me realize i need to work on conversation to open sets. Have made some improvements, can pretty much open any group if there is one guy (i open the guy and get introduced to the group. I need to be in the zone and feel awesome to open a girl in a group or an all girl group, often because I feel girs tend to put up shields.)

Author:	ChocolatePUA [ Tue May 26, 2015 8:28 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Eye opening weekend - really need your help
Quote: tl;dr I need to get better at approaching and suck at it. Please help. Hi guys. I've been a lurker of the PUA forums. Ive gained alot from some of the principles and really appreciate the idea of working to become a "better me." I've gone to the gym consistently, improved my ability to communicate, improved my self-confidence, and have begun working on my fashion. i still feel that I am a work in progress but feel much better about myself. However, I write this post today because I had an incredibly eye-opening experience of failure. I went to the club with my friends with the intent to hang out, not necessarily pick up girls although it was on the backburner. One of my friends is a PUA, claiming to have been with at least 50 women. This is important because this event involves him. So we are at the club and just having some fun dancing and hanging out, drinking. My PUA friend seems to have a very strong social circle in the club, developed from focusing on PUA and living close to the area. He seemed to know quite a few people there. He is able to casually start conversations with women and is a great opener. His club game seems to consist of grabbing girls and pulling them close to dance/talk and give the occasional twirl. Seemingly standard PUA game. So the PUA picks up a very attractive girl. He is talking with her, doing the twirl, etc. But she chooses to talk to me (asking my name, profession, etc). I honestly dont think my conversation game was good here but she gave so many IOIs it was crazy (leaning in to talk to me, pressing her body up against me, grabbing my hand whenever I was there, moving close to me, laughing at my terrible jokes, touching me). I knew she was really into me because my club game is terrible/non existent lol (I dont hang out in clubs at all). My PUA friend is having none of it though. He gets pissed at the fact that she is giving me IOIs and asks me to leave so he can dance with her. I think bro code (he opened her, he gets a first shot), excuse myself saying Im getting a drink and hang out with my other friends. I can tell she was much more into me however since she looked sad by the fact that I was leaving and whenever we ran into each other again, she would immediately grab my hand. In the end though, I left with me friends and she left with my PUA friend. As kind of disappointed as I am about my friend (he apparently currently seeing a girl and is probably going to leave this as a one night stand while I thought she was genuinely interesting and we had alot in common), Im more disappointed in myself by the fact that I can't open sets at all. If I did, I could have gone home with this girl and something could have happened. I had asked my PUA friend in the past to give me some tips but he remains vague. I would really appreciate some advice or ideally, a PUA or wingman in Tokyo who is willing to take me under his wing. Your "friend" isn't really much of a friend at all. I usually let the guy who opens the set take the girl, but if she's clearly more interested in you, then it's just douchebag behaviour for your "friend" to try and claim her for yourself. Quote: Im more disappointed in myself by the fact that I can't open sets at all. It's not that you CAN"T open sets, its that you CHOOSE not to open sets. Likewise, you CHOSE not to continue your interaction with this woman. I also feel that your self confidence needs a bit of work. Quote: If I did, I could have gone home with this girl and something could have happened Just because a girl shows interest doesn't mean she'll go home with you. If I went home with all the girls who I made out with then I'd have no more spaces for notches on my bedpost. Quote: I would really appreciate some advice or ideally, a PUA or wingman in Tokyo who is willing to take me under his wing There's more than enough information on this thread to get you started. If you're looking for wings, which is a good idea, check the Meet up and Wing thread.

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