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| Noob question about opening https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=187458 |
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| Author: | Riley_5000 [ Tue Jan 27, 2015 6:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Noob question about opening |
Hi All I have a serious question, and I hope this is in the right section. I'll try and keep it short, but I want to be thorough in case I omit something relevant. About me: 1) 30 years old. I have never dated a hot girl in my life (except for one which I'll get to in a second). Most of the girls I dated I met online, and effectively hooked up via desperation lol 2) About 6 months ago I met a HB10, European woman. I got her, I think, because my attitude was like, "She'll never be with me so whatever". I actively ignored her, and by some miracle which I can't explain she kissed me and we dated for 6 months. We grew apart eventually and she dumped me. 3) Now I find myself alone yet again, and severly depressed. I have gotten Style's annihilation method - which I've resolved to stick to because a) I can't buy everything from everyone, and b) if I'm going to learn something I'd like to learn it properly. 4) I have never approached, or sarged a group in my life. I find it difficult even talking to women. What I've done: 1) I have changed my wardrobe to cool / smart. I am fit, with a good body but below average face. 2) I am working hard on my body language 3) I am talking to freakin everybody - it's going well. I've made 2 new friends 4) I am committing to memory everything that Style says in his DVDs What happened so far: 1) My friend and I learned 2 openers each. I learned Spells and 5 Oceans. I also ingrained the principles of rooting, false time constraint, and locking in. 2) Last weekend, we went to 6 different clubs/bars to practice the openers with these principles. Most of the places were too loud, but we found a few good opportunities nevertheless 3) I opened 7 sets. On 2 of the sets (both 2 sets), my friend who was inexplicably hovering nearby (I spoke to him about not doing that afterwards), agreed that the girls seemed keen on me and would have followed us with just a little more encouragement. 4) One of the sets told me "Who gives a fuck about oceans!?" It hurt,but I remembered that this is supposed to happen, and that it might have been my fault. I said "Pleasure meeting you", and left. How it went: Thanks for reading this far -sorry about the long post. On every set I opened, I felt: a) Like I was intruding and not part of the group b) Felt separate to the group even after locking in c) MOST IMPORTANTLY, I was completely blank after opening. Normally I would chat for about a minute, maybe do the best friends test whilst locked in - but after a minute I would just say, "Pleasure meeting you", and leave. Because I was blank. The typical set lasted about 3-5mins. Like so (assume correct indirect body language is used: "Hey, my friends over there and I were having this argument. If you guys can help me settle this, it will change my life. I've only got a second, but Do you know Geography?......" continue with Oceans opener. Walking away, "By the way, how do you all know each other?".....etc. "Okay, I have to get going, but let me show / tell you something quickly...." Lock in Finish routine. 5 minutes have passed now. Sometimes the girls are laughing their heads off (I wrote penis on one girl's hand lol), or they're at least talking. But I'm totally blank. I nod, "uhm, okay. Pleasure meeting you" I leave Questions: 1) How do I naturally transition to conversation, without still feeling like I'm intruding? 2) Can someone share a routine to get these going conversationally? 3) How do lock in without feeling like I don't belong? Thank you VERY much for reading all of this nonsense. Please don't recommend a book or a course or whatever - I can't afford to buy things that may end up being useless. Maybe when I'm richer. Any practical advice will be most appreciated. Thank you |
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| Author: | Riley_5000 [ Tue Jan 27, 2015 6:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Noob question about opening |
I should mention that I'm also looking for wings / mentors in South Africa |
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| Author: | oceanx [ Wed Jan 28, 2015 3:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Noob question about opening |
It's good that some materials were able to encourage you to get out there and speak to women. For your next act, try this: Speak to girls who are alone. You'll have your undivided attention. Don't go out to "game." Don't think of it that you're "trying something" on the girl. Just speak to her in a normal conversation. For your way in the door, just comment to the girl about something relevant to the situation the two of you find yourselves in. Example: You're on the street and you see an undressed mannequin in a window "i thought there were nudity laws around here." Say whatever. It doesn't have to be funny or interesting or anything. But when you open with something going on in the area, the girl thinks it's fate that you met (which it is when you think about it) and not some guy with an opinion opener about the planets in the sky or tattoos or something. Oh and one more thing: Don't speak to her in a 'friends/bff' vibe. Behave around her in a normal non-creepy way that you would behave around a girl you're already in a relationship with. |
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| Author: | hugge [ Wed Jan 28, 2015 6:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Noob question about opening |
Your post makes me sad. It makes me want to be your mentor and wingman, and help you out. But unfortunately that won't happen. :-/ Ditch your routines, or make sure to have a shitload of openers to choose from and always open with a different one. The reason why you don't connect with people is because they find the routines irrelevant, and you don't connect and build rapport. You need to talk about things that matter to them, and figure out their sense of humor. I would recommend situational openers. I also recommend maning a switch in your mentality. Have your own party and bring it to the girls. Forget all the BS about "demonstrating higher value", if you do that. The secret is to OFFER value. Give them a good time. I want to recommend you to google "pacing and leading" and try to learn everything about it. Pacing is a technique to build rapport that most people do naturally without thinking about it. |
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| Author: | Riley_5000 [ Wed Jan 28, 2015 7:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Noob question about opening |
Thanks for the advice. I should mention I have (had?) zero social ability. I had absolutely no friends for my entire life, not sure why - I'm a nice guy - that is until I started forcing my self in the last month to talk more and get out there. Now I have at least 2 friends who go out with me. The point being, I can't naturally talk to anyone. Which is why Style's "routines" appealed so much to me. If I can recite canned material for at least 10-15mins I think, to the point where I'm "in", I will comfortable again and can then talk naturally....... Which is why I was hoping for some kind of simple, friendly, rapport building material |
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