PUA Forum :: I have a weird anxiety problem... Help me!

So how are you guys doing?

I could need a little help... I have a strange problem and I have no idea what to do:
I really don't want to annoy you because most of you have probably heared this a thousand times before, but here it is: There is this Girl in my university, usually I would say a 7.5 but she seems to be very cute and just cool, so in my eyes she is like a 8.5 ... When university started, all students were at a bar, and actually she was approching me, or should I say approch, she just said hello... But I really didn't mind and was in a conversation with some other friends so I just gave a little hello back and walked away. But the longer I though about it, the more I felt angry about myself and thought well that was stupid what is she thinking now... Well, the thing is, I started to think more and more to think shit I should approach her and because of thinking to much I never did (AND THAT'S THE WEIRD THING, BECAUSE I USUALLY HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH TALKING TO GIRLS OR APPROACHING THEM) But with her it's something different I feel a connection, we also had a lot eye contact and I said every day to myself grow some balls today you'll talk to her. But then, at University it feels weird because we have huge classes with about 800 people in one room so I think thats to weird just to go directly to her... Even when she walked by I couldn't say a word! I approached a lot of other girls in university without any problems but here I have a barrier! That annoys me so much! What can I do about that approach anxiety? It's been for months now!!!!

Author:	Kryp tonight [ Mon Oct 13, 2014 9:51 pm ]
Post subject:	I have a weird anxiety problem... Help me!
So how are you guys doing? I could need a little help... I have a strange problem and I have no idea what to do: I really don't want to annoy you because most of you have probably heared this a thousand times before, but here it is: There is this Girl in my university, usually I would say a 7.5 but she seems to be very cute and just cool, so in my eyes she is like a 8.5 ... When university started, all students were at a bar, and actually she was approching me, or should I say approch, she just said hello... But I really didn't mind and was in a conversation with some other friends so I just gave a little hello back and walked away. But the longer I though about it, the more I felt angry about myself and thought well that was stupid what is she thinking now... Well, the thing is, I started to think more and more to think shit I should approach her and because of thinking to much I never did (AND THAT'S THE WEIRD THING, BECAUSE I USUALLY HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH TALKING TO GIRLS OR APPROACHING THEM) But with her it's something different I feel a connection, we also had a lot eye contact and I said every day to myself grow some balls today you'll talk to her. But then, at University it feels weird because we have huge classes with about 800 people in one room so I think thats to weird just to go directly to her... Even when she walked by I couldn't say a word! I approached a lot of other girls in university without any problems but here I have a barrier! That annoys me so much! What can I do about that approach anxiety? It's been for months now!!!!

Author:	Mastermind9000 [ Mon Oct 13, 2014 10:51 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I have a weird anxiety problem... Help me!
It's normal, very normal for me at least. It's that you have an emotional investment with this girl you don't have with a stranger. If you are nervous and not comfortable talking to her, it will show, you will seem weird and it will likely destroy any hopes you have, so you need to change your mindset towards her. You are anxious because you like her and you think she likes you, but what you need to do is get talking calmly before you make it flirty or try any PUA moves. Say hi, and be friendly. Write of any possibility of dating or sex with her because in your current state you will just fuck it up. You don't have a chance, and realizing this horrible fact is liberating. Let it soak in. Then you will be much more likely to be able to say hello and chat a bit without losing your shit and sinking yourself. You are nervous because you think you have a chance, but as you are feeling, you really don't. Be a nice guy,don't fear the friendzone. You should be able to build some comfort for yourself and rapport with the girl THEN consider shifting gears. You don't even know if you will hit it off, so investigate, don't try to pick her up. That is a later step once you've found a way to breath easier around her.

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Mon Oct 13, 2014 11:10 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I have a weird anxiety problem... Help me!
Every guy here has been there with that ONE girl they like... And that's part of the challenge - you gotta remember she's no different than anyone else, or you'll just psych yourself out and fail. You won't be over this type of anxiety until you can effectively convince yourself that she's the lucky one if she ends up dating you. It may help to think of it this way: Forget asking her out. Forget getting her number - at least at first. Just talk to her - and "screen" her. Maybe she's a total asshole, dude. Or a flaming racist who you'd never want to date anyway. Make sure she's good enough for you, and if you decide she is... And she seems into you as well, then tell her she seems pretty cool and you should get her number.

Author:	M_Ellis [ Mon Oct 13, 2014 11:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I have a weird anxiety problem... Help me!
This might sound pretty crude but if you ever anticipate meeting her in a social setting again, I'd recommend jerking off beforehand. As ridiculous as that sounds, it does take a ton of the sexual tension off, which may help you to think more fluidly. This might be the kind of girl that you want to lay a foundation with anyway, so minimizing your sex drive might be helpful to that end.

Author:	puaninja [ Tue Oct 14, 2014 5:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I have a weird anxiety problem... Help me!
You have a "connection" with her because she said hi to you ONE time and you didn't bother talking to her? That's silly. It's not a connection, it's just a crush. It's normal to feel anxiety towards crushes because you like them and you don't want to screw it up for yourself and you don't want to experience them blowing you out. I don't think you have a terrible case of approach anxiety, because you said you are ok with opening other sets. It's just this one girl you have problems with. So....sack the fuck up and go talk to her. Easier said than done, yes I know. You'll need a gameplan. Personally, I'd go with an observational opener of some kind. Even if it is, "Hey, do you know so and so." If she says yes, tell her you do too and introduce yourself. If she says no, introduce yourself anyway. You'll want to give the impression to her that since you both know that person, then you should know each other too. It will implicitly make sense, though you don't need to explain that to her. Then start up a conversation about school or whatever. You can do it if you try.

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Author:	oceanx [ Fri Oct 17, 2014 8:10 am ]
Post subject:	Re: I have a weird anxiety problem... Help me!
Imagine her getting fucked doggystyle by a dude in your class - which you tell yourself WILL HAPPEN unless you approach. If that doesn't get you to approach her nothing will. Get to it.

Author:	Black Phantom [ Fri Oct 17, 2014 9:42 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I have a weird anxiety problem... Help me!
The way you can make it easier for yourself to talk to her is by first, not expecting you're going to have this awesome conversation right after you say something to her, you guys falling in love together and have 7 babies and a minivan. If you want to "get" her, then let her go first. Start talking with other girls so you get into a casual state about talking to women. Take maybe couple of days and just talk to ppl and women. Then, when you see her walking or in the class, just walk up to her and say, "So you're enjoying the class?" or "The class is pretty booring huh..." or "So what's up?" I had it happen more then once that I thought I had this awesome connection with some girl because she was giving me eye contacts and smiled to me...but when I tried saying something it felt as if we were total strangers. So don't assume or expect anything. Say something to her and see where your conversation could go. If it goes well, that's awesome. If not, at least you'll know and you won't have to think about it so much.

Author:	Gandu [ Wed Oct 22, 2014 5:05 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I have a weird anxiety problem... Help me!
Don't put on her a pedestal dude. She shits and farts like the rest of us. I find the more you raise a girls value in your mind the greater than chance for you to fuck it up. That goes for gaming as well. When I'm out I don't say to myself "okay i gotta approach 15-20 sets". I just say I'm going to have fun with the process and end up hitting that number anyways. Because I didn't put that pressure on myself. (But have enough pressure that I am committed to improvement) Whereas if you are casually interested you are still able to be on par with your game. So if she is an 8.5 get a couple other 8.5 going so you eggs are not all in one basket. That way its not such a big deal. Hope that helps a little. _______________________ Stumped for a good opener at the bar? Check out the Pickup Buddy App - Search "Pickup buddy typhon" on the Google Play store. Quote: So how are you guys doing? I could need a little help... I have a strange problem and I have no idea what to do: I really don't want to annoy you because most of you have probably heared this a thousand times before, but here it is: There is this Girl in my university, usually I would say a 7.5 but she seems to be very cute and just cool, so in my eyes she is like a 8.5 ... When university started, all students were at a bar, and actually she was approching me, or should I say approch, she just said hello... But I really didn't mind and was in a conversation with some other friends so I just gave a little hello back and walked away. But the longer I though about it, the more I felt angry about myself and thought well that was stupid what is she thinking now... Well, the thing is, I started to think more and more to think shit I should approach her and because of thinking to much I never did (AND THAT'S THE WEIRD THING, BECAUSE I USUALLY HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH TALKING TO GIRLS OR APPROACHING THEM) But with her it's something different I feel a connection, we also had a lot eye contact and I said every day to myself grow some balls today you'll talk to her. But then, at University it feels weird because we have huge classes with about 800 people in one room so I think thats to weird just to go directly to her... Even when she walked by I couldn't say a word! I approached a lot of other girls in university without any problems but here I have a barrier! That annoys me so much! What can I do about that approach anxiety? It's been for months now!!!!

Author:	operadum [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 8:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I have a weird anxiety problem... Help me!
Quote: Imagine her getting fucked doggystyle by a dude in your class - which you tell yourself WILL HAPPEN unless you approach. If that doesn't get you to approach her nothing will. Get to it. Funny!!! Can this lead to higher rush and anxiety? Women smell it from miles away...

Author:	enlightenmentdating [ Fri Nov 07, 2014 7:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I have a weird anxiety problem... Help me!
I need to be blatantly honest with you first, then I’ll show you how to fix this. If you have never had an actual conversation with this girl, then there is not a connection. No matter how hard you might think it it’s just not the case, it is more likely an extreme curiosity which is perfectly normal. But the longer you put off advancing on this curiosity, the more it’s going to drive you fvcking nuts. Alright, you said there were a lot of people in your classes and that you feel awkward approaching her in a class of so many people when actually IT’S THE EXACT OPPOSITE. Approaching women is much easier when there are more people around due to a psychological phenomena called “psychological space.” This refers to how our emotions and thoughts are affected based on our environment at the time. It’s like have you ever noticed if a train is packed, you sitting in the seat right next to someone is completely normal? But when a train is empty, if you sit directly next to someone it is considered very creepy. This is due to psychological space I go into much greater detail about this on my website, and if you want to learn more tricks like this, sign up for my free newsletter at the link below.

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