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She reinitiated SnapChat contact
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Author:  garygay2 [ Fri Sep 12, 2014 8:38 pm ]
Post subject:  She reinitiated SnapChat contact
So there's this girl on Tinder that I've been snapchatting with for 2 weeks. Early on I asked when are we going for a date, she replied that she had to get done with some assignments first, but continued by asking questions about me (profession etc.) So I played along.

This Monday the snapping got a bit sexually (I commented on the cleavage in her snap, she replied "big boobs problem" with a smile, I replied "no problem" showing my hands, she replied with lol smileys). I decided I wanted to ask her out the next day.

I started with a casual snap without questions Tuesday thinking she would rapidly reply. No reply. So I waited until Thursday and sent another one (still without question). No reply. (Earlier it has been about 50/50 who started snapping)

Meanwhile I saw that there was a new guy in town, reaching the top of her best friends list on Snapchat. We're not FB friends, but today (Friday) I saw that they befriended on FB (note: they're attending same university and same age, I'm 5 years older).

I decided to move on, but much to my surprise she sent me a casual snap today. We sent a couple, then I wrote that I thought I was suppose to take the hint when she didnt reply to my snaps earlier in the week (With a snap of me somewhat smiling so I didnt seem angry). She said she had a bad internet at home (bullshit reason) and I just replied "...Ok :P" with a quirky smile. She replied saying she's getting the internet replaced Tuesday (probably true, but still BS reason). She's on a trip for the weekend so I just replied with "Have a good trip ;)" (not sure if that's the correct phrase in English) no face on snap, just black background, and that's the last snap (and I intended so)

My take is that he hit the nail as to when to ask her out, went on a date, and failed. If she wanted me as a backup (and continue to be a backup) she would have replied to my snaps. As to how I feel about her seeing someone I dont really blame her, the progress has been slow (due to the initial rejection) although fun, and I've been talking to others as well setting up dates.

So I'm happy with my freeze out, but I'm afraid I acted like an AFC when confronting her and might have come off as angry in the "have a good trip" snap. Are my odds good? If she's not snapchatting me I'm thinking of doing it Wednesday. (Tuesday is a perfect day for her to show off the new ADSL or whatever).
Author:  GamesSN [ Sat Sep 13, 2014 2:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She reinitiated SnapChat contact
You're her backup and she's doing something with him this weekend. Dude is bumping uglies with the girl or trying to get in there and she's giving him the chance.

You should have asked her out. Still, you can. She's not yours to be upset with if she's fucked the guy. If you want to convince her to drop all other guys you're best doing that with your dick and then withdrawing attention from her when she's hooked so she craves more.

Don't play shitty games with her. Keep it normal and snapchat her the same shit you would always send then follow up with a "Lets head out."
Author:  garygay2 [ Sat Sep 13, 2014 2:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She reinitiated SnapChat contact
She's actually back home with her family.

She sent a general snap today. If I have something good to send I'll send tonight, if not tomorrow.

I'm gonna follow your advice, but if she already fucked him while I was sitting at home I'm gonna pass. I really wanna ask her but I realize it's stupid.
Author:  JustinNgo [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 4:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She reinitiated SnapChat contact
Nothing to lose though right? Ask her!
Author:  garygay2 [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She reinitiated SnapChat contact
UPDATE:

GamesSN was right about backup.

Sent a casual snap today. She replied instantly. We snapped for a while and then I said we should head out next week. She replied "Yes, maybe we should :)" (Not in English but somewhat like that)
I replied "Maybe? :o" with a shocking face (still somewhat smiling)

She opened, but didn't reply. 30 mins later I sent a new one "You dont have to ;)" (somewhat like that)

She replied "You see, I already have a date.."

I sent two snaps at the same time "Ok, then I was suppose to take the hint last week.." and "But good luck with that, and everything else :)" The last sentence just to let it sink in that she wont get another message from me (and the 1 in a million chance that she will drop him to see me)

She opened it, but it took her 20 minutes to come up with a reply. All it said was "Thanks". No type of smiley (first ever without smiley). Not really what I was expecting. After 2-3 weeks she could at least wish me well or something. Anyone have an idea for that last message?


So apparently I was a bit too early with the first invitation, then I missed the opportunity ahead of second guy, then again I was too early (she hadn't figured out if she wanted to continue with second guy). Sucks a bit because the way I got to know her she seemed like a person that wont fuck someone while flirting with other people on snapchat. In hindsight I shouldn't have pushed on the "Maybe", since right now I feel like seeing her if it doesn't work out (if they dont have sex).
Author:  GamesSN [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 2:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She reinitiated SnapChat contact
You fucked up.

She was still willing to fuck you but you got needy and pretty much ended it there yourself.

Next time just play it all passively. Don't pry into her personal business and don't give her too much attention. Let her come to you from time to time and get to the point where your interest in texting a chick is literally just a bit of cheeky/flirty banter and for securing a date. If she's busy but willing don't message her until you have a day you can head out and meet up.

Also, don't take it personally... Chick met a guy in person as opposed to someone she met on Tinder. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see who has more value in the girls eyes. I told you you should have met up with her way before asking now. You lost out because of it. Live and learn.

Also, the only women or guys that won't keep their options open are the hopeless romantics that have next to zero experience in the dating world. They're inexperienced and cling to the first person that shows them interest and ticks the bear minimum requirements for boyfriend/girlfriend material. If you're on Tinder you quickly get a wake up call as to how many people you can have and when you see you've about 20 different people willing to meet up with you you're going to value yourself higher and shop around.
Author:  garygay2 [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 3:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She reinitiated SnapChat contact
Which part was needy? When I pushed her on the "maybe"? Her reply to those was basically that she wanted to, but had to see her first choice first. If I was okay with that then I would have been needy. I agree pushing on maybe could be needy, but it worked this time.

The "Then I was suppose to take the hint last week" was sent after I decided to let her go, so I didnt care at that point. I just wanted to induce an explanation rather than "Thanks".

In real life I would never accept to meet a girl that was also dating other people, but with all the options available on Tinder I need to reconsider that.

In my experience there's 3 different type of girls on tinder: DTF sluts, looking for romance/sexual partner, chit chatters that never go on a date. The first group doesn't interest me, it reminds me of the attention whores in school that wasn't the best looking. This girl was definitely in the second category and most likely wont fuck him until the 3rd or 4th date, 2nd earliest.

So yeah, she was willing to fuck me, but only if she didnt find a reason to fuck her first choice.

Also, I'm pretty sure they matched on Tinder.

Totally agree on your last paragraph, but it drains me to look them up on FB etc to find out they're really worth meeting, getting hopes up etc. Plus making sure I probably want to see them again, as everybody I've been dating has been interested in seeing me again. It sucks to be ditched but it sure sucks to ditch someone as well.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She reinitiated SnapChat contact
Quote:
Which part was needy?

When you said "you don't have to"
Author:  AnthonyZ [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She reinitiated SnapChat contact
The part where you f*cked up was when you sent her like three snaps without getting a reaction. Girls hate that, and it's a strong turnoff. Also the maybe was insecure and the "you don't have to" was the worst thing to do. But it's not a problem, I did this all of the time. It's just about not being too pushy or too needy. Build it up more before you ask her on a date. Because when she is doubting and you try to pull, you're actually pushing her away.

But it doesn't matter, learning about this is what matters. Don't sweat it because once you'll get this PUA thing under control, you'll get the hottest girls. She is probably not even something worth mentioning compared to the girls you're gonna get when you're ahead.

Youdabes!
Author:  garygay2 [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 6:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She reinitiated SnapChat contact
I agree it's not something I would usually do (and never as a regular text message). As I said I had already asked her before, but that time I just continued the convo. I got this idea in my head that maybe she's really afraid of meeting someone and hadn't actually met this other guy and needed to be pushed, so yeah, I pushed. Last resort.

I was doomed anyway, there's very little chance she would cancel a 2nd date with a guy she'd already met just to meet me (and yeah, much slimmer with 2 snaps without answer).

(I see that my way of the word push isn't the same as push/pull pua lingo but you get my point)
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Post subject:  My brand-new work
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