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| I got her attention, what next? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=172422 |
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| Author: | lovegun1 [ Mon Dec 02, 2013 4:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | I got her attention, what next? |
She works at a nightclub, in coat checking. Last weekend, I went there and checked my coat, and told her "This is my grandfather's coat, so don't let anything happen to it". I went back there this weekend, wearing the same coat, and handed it to her. She asked me if this is my grandpa's coat. I laughed and said "I'm flattered you remember!" I left early that night, and she asked me why I'm leaving after only 20 minutes. I said "Yeah, this just isn't my night. Why, do you miss me already?" She said "Of course!", and I recall her calling me sweetheart at some point before I left. What's my next move, experts? |
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| Author: | RiRi [ Mon Dec 02, 2013 5:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I got her attention, what next? |
You got your IOIs, she remembers you, you've interacted a few times, she wondered why you were leaving so early, she had pet names for you... You can start with introducing yourself, getting a name and number. If the number part is difficult (because of her job), then hand her a business card or handwrite your number on something. She's already interested, based on your description, so you don't need to necessarily do anything mindblowing. Is her job pretty loose in that she can step away a little bit? (so she can write HER number on something) Getting contact details and a Day 1 is your only goal at the moment, because the hard part is out of the way: rapport and attraction. Good luck. |
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| Author: | wingintyme [ Mon Dec 02, 2013 6:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I got her attention, what next? |
I don't know if I would go along with the first response. He might be right, he might be dead wrong. There is a more neutral way you can play this. It would probably start with going back and wearing a different coat, or not wearing a coat at all, and see if she still remembers you. She may be associating your grandpa line with the coat, especially if its somewhat unique of a coat b/c it's definitely a unique line she's likely never heard. Basically she's a hired gun. Good ones are good at remembering stuff like that to drive business, b/c at the end of the night its likely more money for her if they are profit sharing bartender tips and she can get you back. What concerns me is she called you "sweetheart" at some point, but you don't remember enough of the conversation to know what exactly was being said. When guys get overly flustered in conversation it's about a 1% chance anything is gonna happen with him and the girl. Also, I can't imagine the line "It's not my night" being impressive to her for several reasons. Is that b/c the place she works at is to slow for you? Have you talked to 3 different girls and totally struck out? Are you feeling sick to your stomach? Are you leaving so soon b/c you want to talk to her again? Do you have a negative attitude overall about your experience? Odds are none of that is good in her eyes. |
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| Author: | ck2014 [ Mon Dec 02, 2013 9:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I got her attention, what next? |
One great thing about women is that they will always give you subtle feedback about yourself which you can use to 'debug' your game. You really want to pay attention to the words used, the way they are said and the physical cues, too. Words like 'sweetheart' aren't good words to have said about you by women you are attracted to. Sweetheart is more of a word your mother or grandmother would call you by when you're young. In this case it means she thinks you're cute, but not very attracted to you. By the way, it's likely she gets hit up all the time. She recognises the angle you're coming from and appreciates the effort, but it's not strong enough. By that, and since you've come here for advice on how to build on some minor social interactions, your effort isn't strong enough because there is an obvious hint of uncertainty. She will have detected that immediately because women are highly tuned into the emotional subtext of social interactions. The good news is that women mostly operate 'in the moment' when interacting, so when you interact with them, you can always flip the tables if you mess up. You can definitely get her really attracted to you, but you have to really study and change what you're doing. I'm guessing you'll only see her once a week. Your next move should be to: 1. Show her you don't fit the sweetheart category. 'Sweetheart' can be one side of you, but you need to show much more of a masculine side. To be masculine, I mean you need to show that you are 100% sure about what you're doing you need to show that you can take initiative and carry the interaction, and you need to show that you aren't really bothered about her reactions, good or bad. 2. As I said, women are highly tuned into the emotional subtext of social interactions. It doesn't really matter at all what you say, but the success mostly relies on how you say it and how you really genuinely feel as you say it 3. Only when you have created the right emotions and shown that there's more masculine in you than sweetheart, then you obtain a means of contacting her. E.g. 'You seem kind of interesting. What's your number I might want to text you....'. That's a nice line when said authentically. The 'kind of' shows that you haven't put her on a pedestal, and the 'might' gives a subtle impression you aren't really concerned about whether she gives you a number or not, and this increases your chances of success dramatically because it shows you aren't just desperately trying to 'get' her and you aren't really bothered because you have other things going for you anyway. I wrote some more about this and similar topics on my blog. Check out my article, it goes in depth. I can't post links, so Google search calvinscode blogspot "how to get a girl to like you". |
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