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| Getting rid of Approach Anxiety? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=157988 |
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| Author: | Vbacon [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 4:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | Getting rid of Approach Anxiety? |
So lately I have been making a habit of saying Hi to everyone, male and female, and really try to push myself to over come this crappy fear of approaching women, and to build my social skill since I am a relatively shy man. My friend and I had spoken about this earlier, and he wrote me down some lines and rules on what to say and how. He basically wrote that in order to have a sincere compliment or opening that you have to truly believe it your self, you're not going to compliment a HB 5 or 6 like you would a 8 or 9 because she is more likely to not believe you. Especially if you do not believe it yourself. He told me in order to rid myself of this 'anxiety' that I must approach a woman I feel is truly beautiful and tell her "Hi, I couldn't help but notice just how pretty your smile is" or "your hair - or jewelery," etc. Just to compliment her on the smaller aspects and never her over all total beauty, mainly due to the expression of neediness. I would like to know if this is a good approach to help get rid of or at least ease the 'anxiety' when approaching a woman I'm attracted to. I'm new to the art of PU and the the PUA forum so I have maybe 1% Experience, but I have the right mind set of going about things in the PUA community, However I can say ever since I have joined I have enjoyed myself a bit more with my increasing confidince. In addition I apologize for writing so damn much! Thanks everyone! |
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| Author: | Tommo1990 [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Getting rid of Approach Anxiety? |
Go straight up to a attractive woman and say anything even aim to get rejected, you'll find after doing it and being rejected you actually won't care and just be ecstatically happy that you actually had the balls to approach and talk to them, I only did this last weekend and its crazy how great I feel. Just do it, its hard, I just got fed up and snapped and approached. |
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| Author: | DirectMike [ Fri Mar 08, 2013 8:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Getting rid of Approach Anxiety? |
First of all, Approach Anxiety doesn't exist - it is a name given by gurus for the feeling you get when you see a girl you're attracted to. Its the feeling you get when you think someone is beautiful and its actually you're body telling you "You should talk to her" - don't try to get rid of it, 'cause you won't and neither do you want to. This is another reason I consider PUA detrimental - it gives a name which sub-consciously communicates that what you are feeling is 'anxiety' and you start to feel it. What it should be called is 'Approach Excitement'. Don't think of it as Anxiety because that is not programming your mind in a positive way. Don't buy products which promise to get rid of it, because they're a load of shite like loads of other products. If I'd known that years ago, I would have only spent about £15 in my entire life on this stuff. |
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| Author: | worldrunner [ Fri Mar 08, 2013 9:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Getting rid of Approach Anxiety? |
I agree a lot with DirectMike you do not want to get rid of it. Sometimes what you feel is pure excitement. Excitement and anxiety have the same physical reaction inside of your body and they feel the same way, your brain just reads the situation and interprets it as anxiety or excitement by putting a name as Approach Anxiety you are giving your brain chances to interpret the situation in the wrong way. I've tried many NLP, EFT and some other tricks... They work great, they get rid 100% of the approach anxiety... but at that moment approaching and talking to woman felt like a boring task at work that needed to be done. Believe me that was much worse than approach anxiety. |
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| Author: | Goldsword [ Fri Mar 08, 2013 2:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Getting rid of Approach Anxiety? |
The best way to get rid of approach anxiety is simply to start approaching lots of women that you like. Don't bother with the often suggested things like just going up to women and asking the time or saying a hello, that will only prolong the anxiety. Just force yourself to approach women you like and talk to them as if you are trying to pick them up. It takes a lot of courage to do the first few approaches but once you have done around twenty approaches and talked to them, then the approach anxiety will lessen a lot. Also try not to think of approach anxiety as fear, think of it as excitement, think 'wow, I am going to go up and talk to this gorgeous girl and it is going to be the most exciting thing I can think of'. After a while you will actually start to enjoy approaching. That is how I got over my approach anxiety. |
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| Author: | Datguy [ Sat Mar 09, 2013 5:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Getting rid of Approach Anxiety? |
Quote: Go straight up to a attractive woman and say anything even aim to get rejected, you'll find after doing it and being rejected you actually won't care and just be ecstatically happy that you actually had the balls to approach and talk to them, I only did this last weekend and its crazy how great I feel. Just do it, its hard, I just got fed up and snapped and approached.
This. Do the opposite of what you wouldn't normally do.
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