At this point no contact takes place for 3 weeks after which she randomly texts me at 1:00AM asking how I am (so on that basis I believe pushing her away worked). I was in abit of a bad mood at this point and questioned her long absence, the conversation eventually goes on to her saying "this is just how I am, I am not changing so learn to love me for what I am" (not exact, I deleted the texts). Being annoyed at the time I pushed her away again saying "If this is how you act I have no interesting getting to know you" after which she took offence and stopped texting me.

Problem is that I want to give her another chance, on our one date she pretty much seemed like my ideal girlfriend. I want to add her again and attempt to open her without being overly apologetic. Any ideas?

Ok this may not be the best idea but I quite want to try my luck with a girl I recently pushed away for flaking.

I have to point out that she was not flaking because of lack of interest, it was because she met me on a dating site just after breaking up with her boyfriend. While I was 'seing' her we met once in real life, I came in as quite needy because as we met on a dating site you assume haste wouldnt be an issue. Although I mistakenly texted her on a daily basis asking to meet after which she would stop texting me altogether. At one point I texted her saying "I am not going to wait for you to decide what you want, if anything happens from this moment onwards you have to instigate it yourself." Ultimatums are never a good idea but I was slightly tipsy at the time. At this point no contact takes place for 3 weeks after which she randomly texts me at 1:00AM asking how I am (so on that basis I believe pushing her away worked). I was in abit of a bad mood at this point and questioned her long absence, the conversation eventually goes on to her saying "this is just how I am, I am not changing so learn to love me for what I am" (not exact, I deleted the texts). Being annoyed at the time I pushed her away again saying "If this is how you act I have no interesting getting to know you" after which she took offence and stopped texting me.

Problem is that I want to give her another chance, on our one date she pretty much seemed like my ideal girlfriend. I want to add her again and attempt to open her without being overly apologetic. Any ideas?

Text her and say "I was wrong and you were right. I'm sorry(her name)!

I like her already. You I'm not so sure about.

Give her another chance? She's done nothing wrong man. If you're smart you'll fabricate some excuse for why you acted like such a dick and hopefully she'll be sympathetic. Next time don't act like she owes you something, your behaviour sounds quite out of order to be honest.

I'm not sure about that. That's just going from being an asshole to being a pussy.

I think that between us guys you should recognise that you fucked up here and that you shouldn't have treated her the way you did. However, I wouldn't admit that fully to her. The apology you should be giving by rights would be something like this:

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have got angry with you, I realise that you did nothing wrong and that I was just getting butthurt because I'm insecure. I shouldn't have taken that out on you and I apologise".

That would be fair, but would probably result in nothing more than "well thanks for your apology, see you later".

Your only way of getting back in the game here is to say something like:

"hey, I have the feeling I might have been a bit rude to you when we last spoke, I've been under a lot of pressure lately with (work, family, insert any excuse that might be plausible), what's up with you?"

You're kind of acknowledging it but kind of downplaying it. Her likely response will be something like:

"well yes, you were kind of rude actually - as I recall you said something about not wanting to get to know me?"

Your response:

"Wow, I really said that? Shit, I didn't realise quite how I was acting. And it goes without saying that I didn't mean what I said"

Her response:

"Well I found it quite hurtful"

You: "Well yeah I can understand that, listen I'm sorry I acted that way, why don't you let me make it up to you sometime?"

Her: "Well I don't know...."

You: "I do want to get to know you cos you're a great girl and I'd hate to miss the chance"

Her (probably): "Well I'm going to such and such this week, maybe you could come along..."

You: "Yeah that'd be good"

etc etc etc

This may sound manipulative and it probably is, but I just don't think offering a straight up apology will work. You've got to give her some sense that she has "educated" you about your behaviour and that she has been the one who prompted you to change. So my advice for now is to kind of get it but not quite. Let her help you the rest of the way.

"If this is how you act I have no interesting getting to know you" after which she took offence and stopped texting me.

Problem is that I want to give her another chance

Which makes this a really strange thing to say.
You messed up, move on to the next chick and be nicer to her.
Insulting makes noone like you.

So I messaged her saying "Hey,
I feel like a may have been a bit harsh before, wasn't in the best of moods at the time . How are you doing?"

But from there on the conversation didn't really go anywhere beyond me readding her and a short conversation.

Same short uninterested replies I was getting before, so imma leave it alone and see where it goes. I have her on Facebook and she has a sufficient excuse to talk to me if she comes around.

I stand by what I said to her but I see that I may have closed myself out. For the record I dont usually get angry at women, apart from my mum and sister -_-.

You meet a girl on a dating site and chances are there's a reason she has to use it, especially in my age-group.

18-23